Oh please, do fuck off

The event – dubbed \’non fire night\’ – will see dozens of families hold sparklers and gather around a massive screen showing film footage of a bonfire.

Recorded images of a roaring real fire will be projected onto a 16ft by 12ft screen mounted on a scaffolding stand – at a cost of £300.

This is for Guy Fawkes Night you realise:

Organisers at Ilfracombe Rugby Club in Devon say they were put off having a real fire by the \’\’mountain\’\’ of paperwork and regulations set by council chiefs.

Officials at the authority said that to have a real fire they would require five qualified fire marshals and metal barricades to keep people at a safe distance.

I think we could best celebrate the one man to enter Parliament with honest intentions by simply hanging those who got us into this mess. But is there enough hempen left in the Kingdom?

A spokesman for North Devon District Council said it had not been approaches this year by organisers of the event.

She said: \”A Temporary Event Notice (TEN) has been issued by North Devon Council for a virtual bonfire night at Ilfracombe Rugby Club.

\”This allows the sale by retail of alcohol and the provision of regulated entertainment for this event at a cost of £21 to the organisers.

\”If people are employed to provide a real bonfire or firework display then health and safety legislation will apply.\”

Time was, back when we were indeed a free nation, when we did not need permission for such things. It would not have occured to anyone that it was necessary: nor that anyone had the power to grant it. It was in fact one of the defining attributes of the English version of liberty, that we were not encumbered with licences, approvals, permissions and allowances.

Where in fuck did that idea disappear off to?

5 comments on “Oh please, do fuck off

  1. If I were employed by North Devon District Cancer, I’d be checking the basement for barrels now…

  2. I think they’ve nearly reached parody singularity there, but not quite. Next year they’ll send everybody a video cassette or DVD of the event to watch at home (prevent spread of swine ‘flu and so on).

  3. It will only stop when people are prepared to go to jail for refusing to ask for permission and holding such events anyway. It’s easy for me to say, living overseas as I do, but there was a time when I risked detention or worse for opposing a brutal police state (as it happened all I got was a police file of my activities). I can still remember my mother telling me that I must think of my family and me replying that sometimes you just have to stand up for what is right and trust that your family will understand and support you. At least in the UK, extra-judicial killings are rare, the aim would be to fill the jails with political prisoners. Of course, you still risk the todger up the arse.

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