7 comments on “I might have to move back to London

  1. Excellent. I have this house in Hackney I really must offload before the Olympics hell. Should I fail, I can rent it to you, right? NB, redecorating, so easy on the paint balloons.

  2. From your cited report “Games chiefs said just 2.6 per cent of London’s roads would be affected by the restrictions and one per cent would have priority lanes. Non-essential roadworks will be banned.”

    Do you recall – well I recall – what happened a few years ago when some idiot tried to drive a 20 ft high lorry through a 19 ft high section of the Blackwall Tunnel? London almost literally ground to a halt. Pinching off “only” 2.6 % of London roads will, I’m glad to say, cause absolute mayhem. Such mayhem will contribute to, what I hope, is the utter failure of the 2012 Games and the public humiliation of all those responsible for bringing it here and all those connected to its administration.

  3. Balloons filled with piss might be more appropriate.

    or soya based baby milk. I mean, that stuff smells like vomit BEFORE it goes into the kid…

    Failing that, eggs and rotten fruit.

  4. I’m not a London dweller. But I presume that the disabled there have parking exemptions. A government website tells me that some bits of London don’t have those exemptions:

    “The scheme does not fully apply in four central London boroughs:
    City of London
    City of Westminster
    Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea
    part of the London Borough of Camden”

    Have the disabled exemptions exemptions been taken away elsewhere?

  5. Couple of questions:

    Firstly, why the hell will the WEST End be affected? The games are being held out on the Hackney Marshes further EAST than Albert bloody Square.

    Secondly: From whence does Boris get this “only 17 days” bollox? The panjandrums will be taking up residence way ahead of the opening ceremony and ou can bet they’ll be finding excuses to stay behind on someone else’s nickel long after the Mayor of Gromboolia has made a tit of himself advertising the next Olympiad.

    All is not total gloom however. In SA for the World Cup similar Zil lanes for “officials” were proposed. Fortunately a population already sick of the “blue light brigade”* kicked up such a stink the idea was eventually dropped.

    *Apparatchiki at all levels can now fit their cars with flashing blue lights which theoretically allow them to proceed about their business efficiently. Of course in reality this means the bastards simply use their powers to speed and demand clear routes to the shops or offto their weekend retreats** and we mere mortals are required to clear the way for them. Naturally, finding ways to “oops, sorry” these phuquers is becoming a national sport, especially during rush hour.

    **Living close to the country’s main north-south highway as I do, I feel it needs to be noted that Friday afternoons see a dramatic increase in the number of blue light chargers heading north, away from Pretoria.

  6. Firstly, why the hell will the WEST End be affected?

    Bluntly, because that is where the nice hotels are where the IOC members will be staying.

    When the Olympics are held, a caste system remniscent of ancient Sparta is imposed upon the city. At the very top of it are the IOC members who are required to be treated like seventeeth century French kings, and there are various other levels of special treatment that are given to people at various points on the tree. Everyone is given colour coded lanyards to indicate their privileges.

    This is all mandatory in the contract that the host city signs when they agree to host the games, just under the bit where the government of the host country signs the guarantee that they will make up any shortfall in the budget – ie the blank cheque bit.

  7. Michael Jennings,

    This is all mandatory in the contract that the host city signs when they agree to host the games, just under the bit where the government of the host country signs the guarantee that they will make up any shortfall in the budget – ie the blank cheque bit.

    If I recall, this was a reaction to Atlanta and its “commercialisation” and that the city ran the 3 weeks on the cheap (why would they do anything else?)

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