Err, no, Sir Simon, no

The City of London police, undaunted and eager to retain their strange independence,

The reason the City police do a lot of the fraud investigations is because the City police are the experts at fraud investigations.

They might not be quite as expert as we\’d like, this is true, but they\’re more expert than, say, the Avon and Somerset force.

For example, as one little birdie has told me, they do get a few of those City accountats etc volunteering as Special Constables. Helps a bit when you get some of the industry professionals turning up to work for free, no?

23 comments on “Err, no, Sir Simon, no

  1. Perhaps our favourite accountant might care to offer his services as a Special Constable with the City of London fraud squad and get back some of these tax billions lost through evasion and fraud.

  2. “Helps a bit when you get some of the industry professionals..”

    Not really, no. Nothing to see here, move along…

  3. Arnald,

    Just because you’ve got the morals of a month-dead weasel doesn’t mean that everybody else does.

    Forensic accountancy, digital forensics are all big business in the City. And services are often provided free or at cost to the Police – whether as a Special or not. And, frankly, if the fraud involves complex financial products, your hard-bitten DS is (for once) quite likely to welcome a bit of advice from the spotty quant in his shiny new uniform.

  4. SE
    You are obviously very dim.

    You don’t want City accountants investigating other City accountants, it’s blatantly open to abuse.

    see: everything that is wrong with financial regulation, and everything else.

    And morals! Coming from you, on here!

    It’s dicks like you that fuck it all up for everyone else.

  5. Murphy’s comment on Redknapp is interesting:

    “Redknapp has been found innocent. End of story.”

    But surely his usual line, and the basis of his “Tax Gap” calculations, is that the tax was due no matter what the courts say.

  6. You have no idea about the scarcity value of specialist skills, do you?

    You don’t want City accountants investigating other City accountants, it’s blatantly open to abuse.

    You don’t want gormless twits investigating City accountants because they’re not going to find anything.

    The real world isn’t like the TV programmes – you have a conflict of interest? You’re off the case immediately.

    You couldn’t stick to an ethical code or a Constable’s oath? Not my problem. But don’t ask me for a job. Because you’d be bloody useless. You’d probably be bloody useless anyway, but this is just another disqualification.

    And, yes, I used to work for a bank and we did, several times, provide assistance to CoL Police.

  7. “You have no idea about the scarcity value of specialist skills, do you?”

    muppet.

    I live in Guernsey. You can’t grow “sophisticated” finance and legal experts in greenhouses.

    As for the rest of your drivel, bollocks to it. There is too much fraud that goes undetected, or that gets let off through technicalities.

    Get fucking real. You support immorality. It’s littered all over this shithole of a blog.

  8. You don’t want City accountants investigating other City accountants, it’s blatantly open to abuse.

    Good point. When we have an accident in the oil and gas business, it’s investigated by cricketers.

  9. Newman, you arse.

    So when an unmitigated fuck up like Deepwater happens, who was behind its compliance? Who wrote the regulations in the first place? Cricketers?

    How often do you hear that so and so’s report into such and such a disaster “used to be a board member” for xyz, connected by one degree to the CEO.

    It happens ALL the time in finance.

    The CoL coppers have obvious vested interests to be able to report kindly on the finance scum.

    If “liberal” means letting people get away with economic, social and material destruction, because “anything else is facistic statism” then you’re all wankers.

    Because that’s what you say all the time, isn’t it?

  10. At least I don’t say cunt every other post, like Tinny says.

    Anyway, I think Jenkins is on to something. Parade a high profile sports-type as a crook (look, he talks like a crook!), and let all your *scoff* wealth creator heroes off the hook. Nice job. Nothing to see here, jog on.

  11. Would this, by any chance, be the same Simon Jenkins who despite being informed (repeatedly) that the Tower of London is in the London Borough of Tower Hamlets keeps writing columns saying it is in the City?

    As for the “strange independence” of the City of London Police if Simon Jenkins had any knowledge of history he might be familiar with the City’s petition to Queen Victoria when in 1839 the then Home Secretary attempted to foist the Metropolitan Police on the square mile: http://j.mp/rFawC2

  12. I live in Guernsey. You can’t grow “sophisticated” finance and legal experts in greenhouses.

    But you seem to be able to grow an impressive crop of ignorance?

  13. How often do you hear that so and so’s report into such and such a disaster “used to be a board member” for xyz, connected by one degree to the CEO.

    Right. And these are the so-called “independent” reports commissioned by the company, yes? Like the “independent reports” commissioned by the TUC and the Tax Justice Network from your darling hero, which are obviously completely unbiased.

    Now, back to reports prepared by or for the police and presented in to court under oath. You seriously think that financially non-dependent experts are going to corrupt their findings because they belong to the same (actually non-existent) club?

    Not that that makes their findings necessarily right or reliable. There are experts, so-called experts and “Britain’s leading tax expert”, for example.

  14. @ Arnald
    “So when an unmitigated fuck up like Deepwater happens, who was behind its compliance? Who wrote the regulations in the first place? Cricketers?!”
    Don’t insult cricketers.
    There are virtually no cricketers (and very few, if any, petrogeologists) in the USA government bureaucracy that * required* BP to use a US-approved drilling contractor whose “fail-safe” BOP failed. The very same drilling contractor whose “fail-safe” BOP failed for Chevron – one of the most vocal critics of BP – offshore Brazil, recently. BP’s error was to ignore the fashionable literature about black swans and omit a Plan C.
    If you had read the original article you would have noticed that Simon Jenkins was having a go at the CoL police investigating fraud *outside* the City. So it was a case of City accountants investigating *non-City* accountants. So your comment #9 “muppet” would be better directed at comment #6.

  15. So when an unmitigated fuck up like Deepwater happens, who was behind its compliance? Who wrote the regulations in the first place? Cricketers?!

    Quite. So why the surprise that accountants are involved in fraud investigations? What were you expecting, biscuit designers?

  16. I had an acquaintance who was a CoL special. They actually took great pride in their ability to sniff out fraud, and liked nothing better than busting people. It takes a certain sort of mindset to be attracted to law enforcement, and the Specials do love their side jobs.

    And their fraud squad is actually considered one of the best in the world, and are quite often called out to consult on cases abroad.

    Maybe, just maybe, they do look away when the big boys play, but then can you tell me how many people have been arrested by any other law enforcement agency over the big scams that the TBTF banks have been playing for the past few years, aided and abetted by various administrations and parliaments throughout the world? I don’t believe there has been one single arrest anywhere in the world, even though some of the stuff going on would make Michael Millken and US S&L scandals look minuscule in comparison.

  17. @Richard: I think he might be a little scared of being sued for libel. Shame, cos I expect Harry R would welcome a little bit of a payout after his court ordeals.

    Go on Ritchie, call him a tax evader, you know you want to!

  18. lol at Jim – it’s the Lester Pillock defence -I am so thick that I always keep a million quid under me mattress….that scumbag Carman got him acquitted, stupid jury.

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