People who believe we all choose to be gay
He writes to refute that contention, that people choose to be gay. Or even to refute that life and or experience (or that horror of past psychiatry, the cold mother) \”turn\” people gay. Or not, as the case may be.
And I\’m sorry but this argument that because some are indeed gay from birth therefore all who are gay are so from birth simply isn\’t true.
Human sexuality comes in a spectrum (in fact, in several, there are those just not very interested in sex at all for example, while others think of little else). There are undoubtedly those who only ever have any interest in same sex sex. Just as there are those who are only ever interested (assuming they are one of those interested in sex at all) in opposite sex sex. I would place myself in that second group simply because I\’ve never met a male that created any form of sexual desire in me (and I\’ve met Iain, so sorry there. I\’ve also found that I fail to create any sexual desire whatsoever in almost all of the women I\’ve ever met but that\’s another story.). This doesn\’t mean that it could never happen: I\’ve met only a small portion of the 3.5 billion men extant for example.
Within this spectrum there are undoubtedly those to whom sex is more important than the form of sex is. Any moist crevice in a storm sort of thing. One only has to look at sexual activity in all male (and all female) environments like prison (or boarding schools of old perhaps) to see the truth of this. Environments and availability do change, for some to many people, sexual expression.
The truth is same sex sex (which can be, if you want it to be, divorced from \”being gay\”) runs along that spectrum, some are indeed born interested only in that form of sex. Some are born not interested in it in the slightest: and some bat for either side dependent upon circumstances. And no, that latest group is not what we should therefore call bisexual, that is properly reserved for those who without such a change in environment or availability are happy acting either way.
It is not true to say that all gays have chosen to be gay. But it is also not true to try and insist that all who partake of same sex sex have not chosen to do so. Human sexuality is complicated enough that some indeed do choose dependent upon circumstances. Just as others are indeed formed in the womb.
Matthew Parris\’ analogy for this same point was that it\’s all like the neck of a champagne bottle. There\’s the wide part of the bottle, where most are. There\’s the thinnest part of the bottle, the spout itself and then there\’s that curve from one to the other where people\’s actions and tastes are more malleable. This is actually a pretty good analogy for almost any human interest.