Another in the list of people I went to school with

Yet for many, the real stars of the show are Dominic and Stephanie Parker, otherwise known as The Posh Ones for their upper crust accents, chintzy sitting room and incessant drinking.

Hmm.

In fact Steph, 47, and Dom, 49, also run what could well be Britain’s poshest B&B in a Lutyens Grade I listed building in Sandwich, Kent. As Steph famously said when watching Downton Abbey: ‘I wonder how many windows they’ve got? We’ve got 63.’

Earlier this year, the couple put the house and its grounds on the market for £4.5 million.

There might have been a lesson or two at that school that I missed.

7 comments on “Another in the list of people I went to school with

  1. The lesson is, be rich.

    The posh ones are great, but the real stars are the gay couple with their snarky comments and affectionate bickering.

    Also “Dave” from the Royle Family provides hilariously inflectioned narration.

  2. According to Land Registry, they bought the property in December 2004 for £2.6m with a mortgage from Barclays. It’s still mortgaged today, although we don’t know by how much. I’d estimate current mortgage servicing costs at around £6,000 (interest only) or £10,000 (repayment). Given that 2004 was the era of easy lending, they may have put down as little as 5%, or £130,000. For a couple aged 38 and 40 at the time, having savings of £130,000 is hardly out of reach, especially if they were trading up from a smaller B&B or other property.

    I don’t know the first thing about the running costs of a B&B, but let’s say they’re charging an average of £100 a room a night, occupancy rate 50% (7 rooms out of 14); that’s £21,000 a month coming in. Obviously there’s VAT to pay, cleaners, gardeners, chefs, food, laundry, etc.; but they should still be able to make a decent living out of it.

    Besides, it’s not as if they get the whole mansion to themselves; they still have to share it with annoying guests, every day of the week.

    So there’s your missed lesson: leverage yourself to the hilt to buy property when it’s relatively cheap; and when people ask, make it look like things are much better than they really are.

  3. “…cleaners, gardeners, chefs, food, laundry, etc.; but they should still be able to make a decent living out of it. ”

    What a peculiar world some people live in.
    It’s a B&B. Anyone couldn’t hack couple dozen breakfasts & chuck some sheets in the machine shouldn’t be in the business. What do they do after lunch?

  4. I did explicitly state that I know nothing about the running costs of a B&B. The point is that even allowing a generous deduction for running costs, they still make good money.

    Incidentally, my entire knowledge of hostelry comes from Fawlty Towers. For their 22 rooms they had themselves, Polly, Manuel, a chef, and an external company who took away the sheets every mornings. The Parkers presumably don’t have a chef; but they do have a 3.5 acre garden to tend.

    All in all it’s nice work if you can get it; but they’re hardly aristocrats.

  5. You did leave out the film crew & production team but…

    The comment was more prompted by people I’ve known who’ve aspired to running B&B, then been shocked, shocked! to find it is actually a job requiring work. Not an opportunity to stand around looking sun-tanned whilst everything happens by magic.

Leave a Reply

Name and email are required. Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>