Bank fraud is more difficult than you might think

Two smartly-dressed men armed with forged bond certificates worth trillions of euros have been caught while trying to talk their way into the Vatican’s bank,

….trillions. That’s like 20, 30 % of all euro bonds in circulation.

telling Swiss guards they had an appointment at the bank, which has been dogged by scandals over the years. When bank staff said they had no record of an appointment,

At least try to make an appointment….

The two men, Lt Col Cardia, said, were likely planning to use the certificates to fraudulently open a line of credit at the bank.

Right…..

“We noticed the grammar of the English used on the certificates was full of mistakes – it looked like they had been written using Google Translate,” he told The Daily Telegraph. “Searching their hotel room we found the seals used to forge the bond certificates.”

Not a high level fraud then…..

Father Federico Lombardi, Vatican spokesman, ….. added, “I don’t think we’re talking about a plot by criminal masterminds….”

No. I get similar stuff every couple of weeks. Last one was gold certificates for 200,000 tonnes of gold from the Phillipines (the remains of that story Marcos used to tell). The guy hoping I would help him, sell the stuff was most put out to be told that that’s more than all the gold that’s ever been mined.

8 comments on “Bank fraud is more difficult than you might think

  1. A thousand tons of gold p.a. – not as impressive as your 200,000 but still four times as much as Brown sold at the bottom of the market, $29bn of Gazprom bonds, Oil certificates (very popular in Saddam’s time), warehouse warrants for all sorts of the commodities, these scams are constantly on the go.

  2. There was some bizarre story a few years ago of an insane quantity of bonds being intercepted on the Austria-Italy border or something. Did anything come out of that? Was it just a dumb fraud like this? Seem to remember Zerohedge making a big deal of it.

  3. Considering the banking crowd bought Gordon-I-Have-Abolished-Boom-And-Bust-Brown, can’t see these people were on to particular loser. Just caught them on an unusually alert day.

  4. They should have just called Lloyd’s’ telephone banking. A criminal did and emptied my accounts over a period of two days when I was on holiday. I had never used telephone banking, so naturally he was able to waltz straight in.

    Useless, useless bastards.

  5. 200Ktons of gold hasn’t been mined, but that doesn’t mean someone couldn’t have issued 200Ktons of certificates…

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