They are getting inventive, aren’t they?

A North Korean official has been executed with a flame-thrower, South Korean media has reported, amid a crackdown on loyalists of Kim Jong-un’s purged uncle.

Whether it’s the South Korean media or the North Koreans being so is unknown. But we’ve had the execution by mortar round, the eaten by wild dogs, now the flamethrower. I start to wonder whether there’s someone, again whether in the media in the south or the military in the north, who is trying to compile some record of the most inventive methods of execution. Are we going to get people being broken on the wheel again? Perhaps evisceration will come back into fashion?

And yes, we might think it a little macabre to joke about such things. And I wouldn’t if we were talking about the conditions in that North Korean gulag. But we’re talking here about the people who run that gulag, who put the people in it to be tortured. Musing over inventive methods of executing these bastards is not macabre, it’s justice, of an admittedly rough and ready kind.

So, a competition. What will be the next interesting method reported? Vogon poetry? nibbled to death by kittens? force fed ginseng until internal explosion?

9 comments on “They are getting inventive, aren’t they?

  1. Didn’t the wild dogs thing turn out to be a hoax?

    Anyway, I suggest suffocating them under Richard Murphy’s fat naked arse, with their last conscious memory him smugly reciting his own ‘studies’ and ‘papers’ re country-by-country reporting and the makeup of the HMRC board.

  2. I’m guessing that someone is reading the latest Darwin awards book and making copious notes.

  3. I vote for trawling through old Devil’s Kitchen posts for some of his more inventive suggestions for our own tormentors.

    My favourite was the one involving a pit full of strategically sharpened cockroaches.

  4. I think we should go and find all those ar$eholes who used to say that the North Korean regime was the best thing since sliced bread – and that the Americans used germ warfare and that the South started the war – and ask them what they think.

  5. I am the last person in the world to defend socialist scum but the wild dogs thing was supposedly from a Chinese satirist (that such a thing now exists is wonderful in itself). As for the flamethrower thing….can they spare that much petrol?.

  6. I shall take Justin’s advice, and adapt one of my past ideas: so, paint curare onto the spines of a candiru fish, insert it most of the way into a gentleman’s jap’s eye, and then try to pull it out again (to get those spines really lodged)…

    How’s that?

    DK

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