Blimey, the things you can learn in the newspapers

Social scientists conclude that the secret to a happy life for older men is keeping their wife happy

Amazin’ eh?

One useful definition of a man who has survived to become “older” would be someone who has learnt this……

3 comments on “Blimey, the things you can learn in the newspapers

  1. That is true of any husband of any age. So money has been spent on a team of researchers led by a leading sociologist to tell us what any damn fool know. We could also tell the good prof and her team that her stupid generalisations about wives and husbands are bollocks. Each husband has to work out what behaviours give the most bang for your buck for his wife. Looking around I can see this varies marriage to marriage, and probably changes over time within a marriage. For example, some husbands could definitely win brownie (BJ) points by bringing home a puppy. My wife would say: “WTF are you thinking?” She prefers cats, as long as they have four wheels and come in British Racing Green.

    Husbands who don’t learn what displays of affection are essential are likely to crash and burn, but again, different wives require different displays. You also need to be consistent, sudden extravagance is likely to lead to suspicion.

  2. “Social scientists conclude that the secret to a happy life for older men is keeping the woman not their wife happy”

    Fixed it for them

  3. I’ve known that for a long, long time, and what good’s it done me?

    She told me to love her for her personality. I asked “Which one?” That didn’t help.

    For the rest of you guys I can offer some relief from a common problem. It’s from a GQ’s “Advice to Wives” column:

    “Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.”

    No, it didn’t work for me either. But beer seems to.

    Men are just happier people:
    You can be President.
    You can never be pregnant.
    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
    You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
    Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    The world is your urinal.
    You don’t have to stop and think which way to turn a nut or screw.
    One mood all the time.
    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    You know stuff about tanks.
    The same hairstyle lasts for years or decades.
    You only shave your face and neck.
    One wallet, 1 pair of shoes, 1 color, all seasons.
    You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look..
    You can do your nails with a pocket knife.
    You have freedom of choice about growing a mustache.
    We are just happier people.

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