Of course Ukip Calypso should be Number 1

The BBC is under pressure not to play a “calypso” record released by Ukip, which was today denounced as offensive by rival MPs.

Nigel Farage endorsed a song written and performed in a cod-Jamaican accent by Mike Read, the former Radio 1 DJ and Ukip supporter. He called for supporters to send it to number one in the singles charts.

Conservative MPs urged the BBC not to play the song, saying the lyrics, hailing the prospect of Nigel Farage in Downing Street, amounted to political advertising in the run-up to the Rochester and Strood by-election. Last night the song had reached 17 in the iTunes download charts.

The song laments “illegal immigrants in every town”, EU “bans” on bent bananas and Jean Claude Juncker, the president-elect of the European Commission. It says Labour and Conservative are “shaking in their boots” in the face of Ukip.


Come along
now, why not? As a country we’ve had My Ding A Ling, Mr Blobby, Clive Dunn, St Winnifried’s and the Sodding Brotherhood of Man as Number 1 singles. It’s impossible to argue that this is worse than all of those: and Lord Knows politics needs a bit of lightening up at present.

The Amazon download is here, iTunes here somewhere or other.

25 comments on “Of course Ukip Calypso should be Number 1

  1. Sadly there is a recent precedent: they refused to play Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead after the passing of Lady Thatcher, despite it reaching #2 or #1 in the charts that week.

  2. Don’t you just love it when the Establishment is all a-tremble at an ephemeral jingle? I’m irresistibly reminded of a Disney cartoon, “Dumbo”. I think where a herd of elephants are recoiling in horror from a little mouse. LibLabCam have ignored the electorate for years too long, and the electorate are reminding them who is master. Classic.

  3. davidseven

    ”What does Lance Percival have to say about this?”

    Blimey, you’re showing your age.

    Dammit! That’s what I’ve just gone and done.

  4. Why oh why is everybody who opposes the hegemonic Left so utterly bad at it? This is pure blind darts team territory.

    “No, we didn’t win anything. But we caused a lot of damage”.

  5. I would say this is probably going to damage UKIP rather than helping them. It identifies them as a thing of the past. It is virtually impossible for a person under 40 to identify with this.

  6. I only listened to the first minute of the song and gave up. It’s a ridiculous song and I’d no patience to listen to the rest of it.

    However, I still bought it. It’s only 79p on iTunes, and worth the cost to give two fingers to The Man.

  7. Also, what does the EU have to do with illegal immigrants? It’s plenty to do with, by definition, legal immigrants.

  8. Yes, yes Tomsmith has it right, imo. A novelty song by a has-been DJ doesn’t exactly scream ‘Party of the Future’.

    There is a strong whiff of Alan Partridge about this whole thing.

  9. Re. the purported offensiveness of Mike Smash singing in a cod Jamaican accent, doesn’t UB40 continue to make a career out of doing much the same thing? For that matter, what about all those English acts who try to sound American?

  10. It wouldn’t be quite so bad if he had at least recorded it properly. But dear God, this is about the worst publicity UKIP could have. If anything says “party for has beens stuck in the past”, this is it.

  11. Streisand effect in play once again.

    Just about every song the BBC bans get more publicity than if they played it constantly, including pre iTunes days. Don’t they ever learn?

  12. Well in the name of fairness, I’ve just listened to the song in its entirety, so you don’t have to.

    “It’s impossible to argue that this is worse than all of those”

    On the contrary! Theres wretched, gimmick novelty songs and then theres wretched, gimmick novelty songs sung by Mike Read in his bedroom.

    It’s utter, utter shite. Worse than all those other songs put together.

  13. Knowing who was behind it, I didn’t need to listen to it to know how bad it would be. Read has form.

    I’m all for slebs, has-been or otherwise, openly supporting some political cause. Lord knows, most of them are shameless Labour shills, so it’s nice to have a bit of variety. But can’t they just express their support? Be a special guest at a conference? Do they have to fucking sing?

    I mean, if Andy Murray wanted to support Labour, would he do a special socialist-themed tennis match? Although, actually, since Read is just a DJ, it would be more like Murray doing a socialist-themed darts match.

    Footballers and politicians: the two groups of people convinced that their cause is somehow helped by shit music.

  14. Edward Lud – “doesn’t UB40 continue to make a career out of doing much the same thing?”

    I think UB40 consists of just one ginger ar$e and some session musicians. And even the little ginger one has taken a break and so the band doesn’t exist any more.

    I hope they will release a video clip in Black face. If you’re going to do awful you may as well turn the dial up to 11.

  15. I’m surprised that UKIP allowed this to happen. It doesn’t inspire confidence in their ability to plan election strategy and shows that they are unable to imagine what people unlike them need to hear in order to be convinced by their message. A massive dropping of the ball that will make sure nobody young votes for UKIP ever. The other parties and the BBC must be loving this. UKIP should move fast to dismiss Read’s support as soon as possible.

  16. > I think UB40 consists of just one ginger ar$e and some session musicians.

    I don’t understand why people do this. The fact that you’re commenting on here presumably means you have Web access in front of you. It would take less time to discover this is utterly untrue than it did to type it.

  17. “I hope they will release a video clip in Black face. If you’re going to do awful you may as well turn the dial up to 11.”

    Exactly. They have 2 options at this point. Either deny deny and shun Read, which risks looking po faced and hurting support from the people that are like Read (natural UKIP supporters), or dive in and take it to the point of parody, which at least some younger people might find funny.

  18. Also, don’t you need a trivially small amount of sales to get a single into the charts these days? What with the rise of streaming and all. The kippers could very well get it into the top 10 or 20 say, but number 1? No, don’t think so.

    Plus, given the demographics of UKIPs base, you’d need a physical release as the ‘Downloading song from Itunes’ won’t feature highly in their generations skillset.

  19. Squander Two – “I don’t understand why people do this. The fact that you’re commenting on here presumably means you have Web access in front of you. It would take less time to discover this is utterly untrue than it did to type it.”

    Yeah but this falls into that unfortunate gap between being willing to post something and being willing to look it up before doing so. I wouldn’t have thought anyone cared to be honest. I didn’t like them when they still had their original line up.

    Tomsmith – “Exactly. They have 2 options at this point. Either deny deny and shun Read, which risks looking po faced and hurting support from the people that are like Read (natural UKIP supporters), or dive in and take it to the point of parody, which at least some younger people might find funny.”

    Actually their best hope is that the Social Justice Warriors take it up. What they need is an article in the Guardian denouncing them for racism. As bad as the song might be, any sane person will have to support them once the SJWs get on the case. Let’s hope that the BBC asked Polly Toynbee and Jasmine Alibhai Brown to comment.

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