12 comments on “Smell better too

  1. Was this ever not the case? You pick your wife and your dog, not your in-laws.

    (personally, I rather like my in-laws, but that isn’t the case with one girl I was interested in once)

  2. “Smell better too”

    Well, you’d hardly use a mother-in-law to sniff out truffles, would you?

  3. My dog smells lovely – except when she’s wet, when she’s a bit rank.

    I have never smelled my mother in law – we are strictly arms’ length.

  4. Load of bollocks. You can’t palm off screaming, snot-nosed infants on your dog for a few days.

    Not unless you want social workers to kick down your door.

    But mother-in-law? Your evil, mewling, sleep-depriving Chuckie-doll-like toddlers are her delight.

    She uncomplainingly weathers their tantrums. She coos when they hold up their nasty, grabby, sticky little hands to indicate they want to be picked up. She finds it adorable when they shit themselves.

    Mothers-in-law deserve a medal. They are the thin pink line of feminine grace and maternal calm holding fathers back from turning into Jack from The Shining.

    Fuck you, 70’s comedians. The mother-in-law is a saint.

  5. One of my more favourite comedic lines:

    “Now that blokes really hard. He’s so hard he sleeps with a picture of his mother-in-law on the bedside table.”

  6. My MIL was brought up in poverty – real poverty, not faux modern poverty – in the North East of England. She provided ample evidence that poverty is not an ennobling experience, nor is being a Northener.

  7. “I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.” – Rodney Dangerfield

    Steve – Yeah, they schlepp the kids with joy, while they tell your wife that you are a shit and she should divorce you. The knife in the back overrides all good deeds.

  8. Gamecock – there’s always that I suppose. This is one reason why wife No. 2 has no access to, or knowledge of, my bank accounts.

    The main reason is she thinks that a married man, in possession of money, must be in need of buying new dresses and furniture for his wife.

    I’ve also told her that alimony does not exist under the laws of the United Kingdom. The pretty ones aren’t dumb like people tend to assume (I’m gorgeous, and smart as a cat), but they do tend to be too lazy to look things up for themselves. So you can get them to believe an incredible amount of amazing lies.

    My wife still thinks Welsh people are descended from the original hobbits, but they’re really touchy about it so she must never mention it.

  9. “Do you have a good word to say about anybody?”

    The unpleasant MIL’s daughter is utterly lovely.

    PS The question is a bit rich coming from Steve. “The pretty ones … do tend to be too lazy to look things up for themselves”: priceless.

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