27 comments on “They are matey

  1. His vision sounds delightful and positively utopian. Thank god he only gets it for one day before the adults take over again.

    Or am I a victim of Poe’s law here and this is supposed to be humorous ?

  2. It would also be very Soviet, what with tiny dormitory partitions, shared facilites and all that. Not sure the modern consumer of social housing would stand for that.

  3. It makes sense, once you realise that the headline should indeed be ‘They are, matey.’ Punctuation is your friend, Tim; use it wisely.

  4. “Punctuation is your friend, Tim; use it wisely.”

    Indeed.

    “Richard Murphy said Tim Worstall was an idiot.”
    does not mean the same as
    “Richard Murphy, said Tim Worstall, was an idiot.”

    and it appalls me that the modern education system encourages people to believe that punctuation doesn’t matter.

    I have in front of me a letter from a Court official, who appears to believe that the only use of a full stop is to mark the end of a paragraph, and that the only other punctuation mark available is a comma. It makes it unnecessarily hard to deciper just what she’s trying to say.

  5. Obviously he’s having a larf, but it’s revealing nonetheless:

    Let the demolition of Westfield, the Arndale, Lakeside, the Bullring, Wood Green Shopping City and the rest of those hellholes begin. There is enough stuff knocking about already. If you really need this season’s jumper then try to get lucky in a charity shop. You crave new eyeliner? A biro will have to do. If you’ve run out of toothpaste, ask a neighbour for a quick squeeze.

    Guardianistas really do hate shopping centres. These are the sort of folks who thought Dawn Of The Dead was clever social commentary. Because consumerism is exactly like when there’s no more room in hell, and the dead walk around in bellbottoms in order to feast on the living.

    Ask Naomi Klein.

    As for living out of your neighbours’ pockets, that’s been a lefty fetish since forever:

    ‘I wanted to ask you whether you’d got any razor blades,’ he said.

    ‘Not one!’ said Winston with a sort of guilty haste. ‘I’ve tried all over the place. They don’t exist any longer.’

    Everyone kept asking you for razor blades. Actually he had two unused ones which he was hoarding up. There had been a famine of them for months past. At any given moment there was some necessary article which the Party shops were unable to supply. Sometimes it was buttons, sometimes it was darning wool, sometimes it was shoelaces; at present it was razor blades. You could only get hold of them, if at all, by scrounging more or less furtively on the ‘free’ market.

    ‘I’ve been using the same blade for six weeks,’ he added untruthfully.

    The ex-royal properties will be transformed into arts venues putting on eclectic, uncensored theatre, music and art shows.

    Yes, I can see it now. Lesbian juggling troupes. Eco-conscious improv theatre. And poi. Lots and lots of poi. Right up till the enraged, toothpaste and eyelinerless proles rise up and feast on the living.

    In order to promote compassion and respect between generations, teenagers at school must carry out weekly social visits to elderly people living alone. Young and old are to tell one another their life stories and secret passions, to listen and not interrupt.

    God, that would be funny.

    “Shut up, son.I’m going to tell you everything that’s wrong with your generation.”

    Both parties will learn something. Alongside this, all adults have to learn to bath an elderly or disabled person. I’ve found it’s a pretty good skill to have under your belt.

    Pervert.

    Every citizen will create something to give to a neighbour. Cook a meal, draw a picture, write a poem/story or make a playlist: whatever, as long as it comes from the heart.

    Dear Jack and Lynne
    It makes me grin
    To leave out my bin
    So wind your necks in.

    people will learn a non-European language of their choice and hopefully gain a genuine and deeper sense of people from a different culture, instead of an objectified, exotic snapshot.

    My parents never understood me.

    They were Japanese.

    Everyone will work a three-day week – let’s do less and live better.

    The bank will understand when you try to pay your mortgage in borrowed toothpaste and poi.

    Ultimately I want a fairer, more representative country so there will be quotas at our top universities for kids from non-selective state schools.

    Brideshead Re-revisited: How Bridey Got Stabbed.

    Finally, I’d commit to a large-scale programme of treatment for sex offenders.

    Nuke Rotherham.

  6. They aren’t, matey. At least not the definition of “social housing” understood by 99% of the newspaper-reading population.

  7. Requiring the children of the (relatively) poor to share dorms at Harrow would surely be classed as child abuse.

    However, for sundry Labour and Trade Union worthies to be supplied with free rooms at Eton to use as weekend retreats would surely be a worthy cause?

    After all, gathering them together like that would make it easier to bump them all off.

  8. “Finally, I’d commit to a large-scale programme of treatment for sex offenders.”

    So treatment to change sexuality works again? It was a myth last week when Christian nutjobs were trying to cure gays. Ho hum.

    “Young and old are to tell one another their life stories and secret passions, to listen and not interrupt.”

    Even when our young Junior Anti-Sex Leaguers have to sit there listening to some old fella going on about how he doesn’t like black people?

    Personally, if I was Prime Minister I would raze the Guardian offices and build a Porsche dealership in its place. The author would have to work there. No sales, no food.

  9. Rob,

    “Personally, if I was Prime Minister I would raze the Guardian offices and build a Porsche dealership in its place. The author would have to work there. No sales, no food.”

    No. The Guardian owning expensive offices is just helping to bring about their demise.

    Did George Osborne ever get around to that public sector jobs website? That’s what’ll really do for them.

  10. I’m going to have to stop reading Steve while eating my soup. It does cause a terrible mess.

  11. abacab
    April 28, 2015 at 9:26 am

    It would also be very Soviet, what with tiny dormitory partitions, shared facilites and all that. Not sure the modern consumer of social housing would stand for that.

    That qualifies it as a feature, not a bug.

    And when their revolution comes the consumer can STFU.

  12. All the above makes it sound like an amusing article. Maybe a bit “what I want to do on my school holidays” but I’m tempted to click through.

  13. Full marks for Diversity at the Guardian. They are moving to the same lockstep moronic opinions shared by people of every creed and colour.

  14. If you’ve run out of toothpaste, ask a neighbour for a quick squeeze.

    And where does your neighbour get his toothpaste from?

    In order to promote compassion and respect between generations, teenagers at school must carry out weekly social visits to elderly people living alone.

    You cannot make people compassionate by forcing them to behave as though they already are.

    Dim-witted moron.

  15. @Ian Bennet, the same place the ” this season’s jumper” came from, i.e. GUM or the Islington equivalent shop reserved exclusively for the party faithful.

  16. Did George Osborne ever get around to that public sector jobs website?

    What do you think?

    David Cameron, how do I despise you?
    Let me count the lies…

  17. Ordering people to be thrown in dungeons is not something that generally falls under the job description of “Prime Minister”. “Pantomime villain” perhaps. Or “unhinged totalitarian cunt”. Of course since it’s only for one day, the next day we can drag her on a hurdle to Tyburn (or Connaught Square, these days), hang her till she’s nearly dead, roast her intestines in front of her, chop her into bits and display the chunks at selected venues for the edification and instruction of the populace.

  18. @Ian Bennett
    “You cannot make people compassionate by forcing them to behave as though they already are.”

    You do realise you just demolished the whole raison d’être of political correctness?

  19. 12 to a dorm, one small wardrobe, no jewellery, no trainers, no trackie bottoms. No mobiles phones, no sky TV, no access to pron. Wear a tie, no tattoos, getting up at 7am for a modest breakfast and having to attend class all day. No girls, no pitbull terriers, no smoking or drinking. Definitely no skunk. Yep, I think they are an ideal model for social housing.

  20. I try to keep control of my rage but frankly this Bhatti cunt needs the arrogance beaten out of them.

Leave a Reply

Name and email are required. Your email address will not be published.