Frogs on holiday

A Frenchman has gone on a frustrated rampage in a tiny New Zealand fishing village after he spent four days waiting for a hitchhiking ride.

The 27-year-old Frenchman arrived in the west coast settlement of Punakaiki, home to just 70-full-time residents, late last week.

According to New Zealand police the man spent four days attempting to hitchhike south.

On the fourth day after no one had picked him up he went “berserk”, allegedly attacking the Welcome to Punakaiki sign with a rock, abusing motorists and throwing other road signs into the local river.

“Oh he threw an absolute hissy fit; he was lying prone on the road screaming that New Zealanders were assholes and he couldn’t wait to get back to Europe,” says local Neil Mouat, who eventually called police after an elderly fisherman “had words” with him, and Mouat feared the altercation could turn violent.

“He was a spoilt millennial, and he created a hell of a din. But all that time he was standing in the wrong place to hitchhike – a corner with poor visibility and nowhere for cars to easily pull over.”

West coast senior sergeant Paul Watson said the man had been hitchhiking around New Zealand for some time and become “enraged” when his travels abruptly halted in the minute settlement of Punakaiki, which has no grocer or corner shop and only basic public facilities.
“That road sees a bit of traffic but this man had no joy, I suspect because of his aggressive behaviour. He also told us he hadn’t eaten for two days so that could have contributed to him losing the plot.”

Nah, it’s just that he’s French

15 comments on “Frogs on holiday

  1. The 27-year-old Frenchman

    “He was a spoilt millennial, and he created a hell of a din.

    Methinks he’s a bit too old to be a Millennial. And 27’s a bit too old (or waaaaaay too young) to be hitchhiking around. At that age he should be firmly in harness in whatever career and raising a family. Give it another 15 or so years and then, when the MLC hits, take off to wander around a bit.

  2. What happened to the “hiking” part of “hitchhiking”? In those four days he could have got about 100 miles instead of standing around like a citron stationaire.

  3. “But all that time he was standing in the wrong place to hitchhike – a corner with poor visibility and nowhere for cars to easily pull over.”

    As a young squaddie in the ’70s it didn’t take me long to work out that you needed to find a straight piece of road and stand about 50 to 100 yds in front of a place where drivers could safely pull over. He really didn’t think about what he was doing.

    “What happened to the “hiking” part of “hitchhiking”? In those four days he could have got about 100 miles instead of standing around like a citron stationaire.”

    Indeed, but it depends on the road. I wouldn’t have wandered down a dual carriageway, for example, preferring to wait well before it. Also, I often didn’t want to get too far in case I had to turn back.

  4. “he was lying prone on the road screaming that New Zealanders were assholes and he couldn’t wait to get back to Europe”

    That’s the way to get the locals to help you when you are in trouble of your own making in a foreign land. Act like a toddler in a tantrum and insult them.

  5. Hitchhiking is all about not looking filthy or mad, standing where they have time to slow down, and making eye contact with the driver.

  6. Act like a toddler in a tantrum and insult them.

    TBF it’s a strategy that has served the French well over the last 70 years.

  7. BiND, you won’t find a “dual carriageway” on the west Coast of NZ, but at least these days it is sealed the whole way. It’s about 60 off km South to Greymouth, a good two day hike if you had to, with really nothing at all in between except the odd farm house I suspect.

    Very under-populated, and at this time of year, cool and wet, typically very wet. In fact it is wet all year round but winter tends to be wetter if such makes any difference.

    It is a tourist stop, Punakaiki, “famous” for its limestone formations the “pancake rocks”. It is definitely not the tourist season down that way right now, but one would have thought that he would have found a ride as a lot of people do stop there.

  8. He probably found his usual medication was not available in anal pessary form. Most frogsters prefer it up ’em to swallowing.

  9. “At that age he should be firmly in harness in whatever career and raising a family.”

    Jawohl, all vill comply.

  10. We are arseholes not “assholes”, so he (or probably more likely the Guardian) needs to get that right for a start. Also , as Ed Snack says, it is a tourist stop and even though it isn’t quite into tourist season yet there will still be a reasonable amount of traffic through.
    Actually, I have hitchiked in some pretty quiet places and if anything getting a ride can be easier. In fact I am more likely to pick one up myself on quiet road than a busy one as I think the poor bugger could be waiting for ages if I don’t.

  11. Given that France is now home to a vibrant car ride sharing economy (Bla Bla Car and many others), he cannot claim to be anything more than a freeloader.

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