Yes, this does help

In short, it has proved a spectacular fall for a cheerful young Englishman who seemed to have been born with every advantage, although his mother insisted yesterday that reports her son had access to a £250m trust fund were “ridiculous, absolute rubbish”.

Cottrell was expelled from his boarding school, Malvern College in Worcestershire, and never went on to university, but he proved such a hit at Ukip headquarters in London that no one suspected he might be in trouble with the law.

His mother claimed her son, who will be sentenced in early March, was coping “surprisingly well” with prison life. “I think it’s the boarding school [experience],” she said.

Can’t recall where I first saw that joke though. Decline and Fall?

9 comments on “Yes, this does help

  1. Roger Cooper was held in prison in Iran during the late 80’s, he said anyone who had been to a British public school or served in the British Army would be perfectly comfortable in a third world prison 🙂

  2. Good memory, Tim. Yep, it’s Decline and Fall.

    ‘[A]ny one who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. It is the people brought up in the gay intimacy of the slums, Paul learned, who find prison so soul destroying.’

  3. “anyone who had been to a British public school or served in the British Army would be perfectly comfortable in a third world prison”

    Yup. Reading the excellent book “The Lucifer Effect”, by the Prof who ran the infamous ‘Stanford Prison Experiment’, I was struck by the size of overlap between prison experiences/psychology and what I’d experienced myself while a soldier.

    That’s not to say I think I’d find prison comfortable but I doubt I’d find it any less comfortable than basic training was.

  4. “anyone who had been to a British public school or served in the British Army would be perfectly comfortable in a third world prison”

    I believe UK prisons are more pleasant than UK bording school I was sent to:

    Dorms: no heating, curtains or carpets.
    Food: breakfast Mon-Sat cornflakes. Sunday treat sometimes – rice crispies. Occassional monthly treat during evening prep – 1/2 slice of white bread with HP Sauce (no butter).
    Freedom: allowed to leave grounds on Saturday for two hours.
    TV: none
    Radio: in bed with earphone

    …and my parents paid for this!

  5. I believe UK prisons are more pleasant than UK bording school I was sent to: …

    Whereas, in the military, the heating will be on from Oct to Mar, whether you need it or not (and off from Apr to Sep, regardless of the temperature) and, if you have a room in which it actually works, will not be thermostat operated and will have persistent water hammer from 2300 to 0600 (which will be wholly non-replicable during the working hours of the maintenance contractor.)

    On the other hand, provided you avoid PAYD, the food is good and, even with PAYD, is acceptable.

    Freedom? Well, depends where you are.

  6. @ PCar
    In my day there were no earphones, no treats during prep; but we survived. The school tuck shop was essential.
    To make sure we survived, they weighed us at the start and one day before the end of each term and any growing boy who had lost more than half-a-stone in that term got sent to the Sanatorium for a check-up to make sure that we didn’t drop dead before we got home: Matron took one look at the usual suspects (I think my record was just over one-and-a-half stone lost in one term) and sent us back to lessons while checking any boy who might actually be unwell.

  7. @john77
    “The school tuck shop was essential.”

    The prison boarding school I was incarcerated in had no Tuck Shop. However, it did have a Royal charter – The Royal School xxxxxx

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