Silly, silly

Cate Le Bon: ‘Guitars were inspired by female bodies. Why are they uncomfortable for women to play?’

They’re not. There are myriad guitar shapes out there (for electric ones at least, acoustic are rather determined by the sound box shape).

All of which is quite apart from the fact that there is indeed a difference between men and women. Those male rockers sling the guitar down low and wave it around as a penis extension. Women tend to cradle it like a baby. Nowt to do with tits of course. But, you know, men and women are different?

29 comments on “Silly, silly

  1. 100,000 years of evolution have worked to make men comfortable holding something shaped like the body of a woman.

    Women? Not so much. Lesbianism is mainly a evolutionary dead end. The question would be whether they would be uncomfortable for women to play if they were shaped like men – a balalaika perhaps?

    Is this really a question we need to spend two seconds answering? Even assuming the claim that the guitar is based on the fat ar$es of Latina women is true (Not that there is anything wrong with that I hasten to add before BiS flames me). In the end men play music to get laid. With lots and lots of fertile young women. Women play music because they had an awful childhood and they can’t get a decent man to commit to them. Different evolutionary paths with different goals.

  2. How many women does it take to design a new guitar?

    I have no idea but apparently they need to b!tch about it on CiF first.

    Seriously? Some chick designs a guitar that is better suited to her body shape? The real question is why didn’t some other chick do it before? Why would we care? You don’t like your guitar, you design another one.

    How many left handed guitar players have there been? Did Jimi Hendrix spend his spare time b!tching about how The Man was trying to keep him down with handed guitars? Well, he may well have, actually. But at least he got on with it without wasting bandwidth.

  3. I started teaching guitar to a friend and there was a slightly awkward discussion about the juxtaposition of instrument and her lady-bumps. Not something I’d ever considered.

    Basically, when seated, if you keep your back straight (don’t slump) and have the guitar resting in your lap then there shouldn’t be a problem unless you’re VERY well endowed.

  4. Has anyone ever wondered why the super strong and sassy half of the demographic seem to spend their whole time whining about petty grievances?

  5. This silly cow should insert red hot needles into her eyes to see what blind players, or cut off or burn some of her fingers to see what people with real handicaps or disabilities can achieve with a guitar, whatever the shape or style.

    When I play the guitar (I have 15 of the fvckers of different shapes and types) sitting down, the bottom lower bout sometimes rests in or against my cock and ballsack – and?

  6. In Mozart’s Le Nozze di Figaro, when Figaro discovers that the Count has designs on his fiancee, Suzanna, he decides to teach him a lesson so he sings:

    “If you want to dance my little count, I’ll play your guitar.”

    I’ve read that ‘play your guitar’ is, (or was), slang for ‘kick your arse’ due to the shape of a guitar’s body/ So maybe it’s not all about fat-arsed latinas.

  7. Actually, that gives a thought for a patent here.

    An artificial electronic pulsing vagina attached to the bottom back of a guitar for a male player to insert his member to achieve truly orgasmic sensations while playing licks.

  8. @Bravefart: if you play standing (unless you are in the Shadows) the guitar should be nowhere near the chest.

    Alternatively, Vox are making the teardrop again, and that should be clear of both male and female gubbins in any reasonable circumstance I can think of.

    Ps Annie from St Vincent was superb with Nirvana at the hall of fame induction.

  9. Most modern electrics are based on the Les Paul shape. As I recall, he had a problem with his arms following a car crash meaning he needed that particular shape. Sub optimal for everyone else, sure, but how else was he going to do it?

  10. Guitars have curves…so the shape must have been inspired by female bodies. Obviously. QED.
    #feministlogic

  11. “How many left handed guitar players have there been? Did Jimi Hendrix spend his spare time b!tching about how The Man was trying to keep him down with handed guitars?”

    +1

    “The Guardian has run out even of First World Problems to whinge about.”

    +1

  12. It’s and electric guitar, the shape of the body has no effect on the sound it makes, she could easily have taken a jigsaw to a Gibson, as long as she leaves the bridge/pickups/structural integrity alone it won’t make any difference.

    Pretty as a traditional maple bodied electric guitar may be you could make the body from a rectangle of perspex and all other things being equal, they will sound the same.

  13. Pretty as a traditional maple bodied electric guitar may be you could make the body from a rectangle of perspex and all other things being equal, they will sound the same.

    Alas something Chinese guitar manufacturers believe is true of acoustic guitars copied from Yamahas.

  14. Guardian seem to have a problem with this. 4 requests for evidence for that claim deletd to far…

  15. Q: Johnny has 5 guitars, and buys 2 more. What does Johnny have now?

    A: Happiness, Johnny has happiness.

  16. There’s a begging section from the Guardian under that article.

    Wasn’t there some Bible story about casting seed on stony ground?

  17. There are few things funnier and more satisfying in the world than getting to the end of an idiotic Guardian article and seeing their begging note.

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