Plod’s latest

A police force carried out a controlled explosion on a “suspicious” car outside a station, not realising its own officers had parked it there.
A bomb squad was called after concerns about an unattended Vauxhall Corsa at Workington police station, Cumbria.
Roads around the building, in Hall Brow, were sealed off and an explosion carried out at 08:00 GMT.
The force blamed “an internal communications error” and apologised to the owner.
Cumbria Police said other officers on duty were not aware colleagues had parked the car outside the station after helping its owner, who had taken ill.

And then we get to the problem:

“The constabulary will review this incident and will take on board any learning.”

KILL THEM, KILL THEM ALL!

What’s wrong with “Yes, you’re right, we fucked up, we’ll try not to do that again”?

43 comments on “Plod’s latest

  1. Just a simple mistake.
    I’m sure the officers responsible will be paying to replace the car. After all that’s what would be expected from other citizens if they accidentally destroyed your car.

  2. “…will take on board any learning.”

    At least the old cliché of ” Lessons will be learned” meant something. This sub-literate jargon suggests to me that nothing will change.

  3. “taken on board anym earning”.

    Like don’t blow up your own cars? I would have said that was a bit too obvious but, well, it wasn’t was it.

  4. @Thephrastus
    Good point.
    “Will take on board any learning, shoot it in the head and dump it over the side”
    or
    “will take on board any learning and then perform a controlled explosion on it”.

  5. All amusing polis embarrassment aside, we’ve reached a pretty pass when a fucking Vauxhall Corsa gets blown up for being left near a cop shop in Cumbria.

  6. Don’t worry: the Taxpayer will pick up the tab; and no careers/pensions will be impacted.

    Meanwhile I do wonder if there were any ‘hints’ whatsoever from Intelligence Agencies, raising the probability of a terrorist attack in the Workington area to anything above ‘distinctly unlikely today or in the near future’.

    Best regards

  7. The lesson will be- don’t do something in the future to help the public in case we deliberately blow up their car.

  8. All amusing polis embarrassment aside, we’ve reached a pretty pass when a fucking Vauxhall Corsa gets blown up for being left near a cop shop in Cumbria.

    This. Small events make you stop and think “what the fuck is happening to the country?”

  9. Anyway, thanks to the Deity of choice that we were spared “our thoughts and prayers are with the family at this difficult time”, an abomination which never passed the lips of Sherlock Holmes or even Dr Watson.

  10. At least the old cliché of ” Lessons will be learned” meant something. This sub-literate jargon suggests to me that nothing will change

    The Air Force moved away from “lessons learnt” to the more honest “lessons identified” over a decade ago.

  11. TomJ,

    Same with the Navy, possibly for the same reason, when in 2003-4ish someone might have compared the “lessons learned” registers from Op GRANBY (1991) and Op TELIC (2003) and highlighted how many ‘lessons learned’ actually recurred almost verbatim…

  12. There’s an ‘any’ in the learning? A question mark over whether there might be any ‘learning’?

    Cant, cunts.

  13. The person responsible for running such a fucked up force should be fired forthwith in any sane organisation.

  14. The lesson learned is that if you want an insurance claim on your car, park it outside the local police station. Preferably with a copy of the Koran poking out of the glovebox.

  15. Oh no. I drive a Corsa and work on military bases and have to pass gatehouses with bored twitchey-looking privates with GBFO guns trained on me.

  16. All amusing polis embarrassment aside, we’ve reached a pretty pass when a fucking Vauxhall Corsa gets blown up for being left near a cop shop in Cumbria.

    It shows they’re a hell of a lot more worried about terrorism than they’re prepared to let on…

  17. monoi – “The person responsible for running such a fucked up force should be fired forthwith in any sane organisation.”

    Why? What did they actually do wrong? We are now three generations into being nice to Irish terrorists and four generations into importing Third World barbarians. This is the logical consequence of those two actions.

    What would you want them to do? Wait to see if it blows up?

  18. Years ago a bunch of mates and I went down to London from the provinces to watch a gig, we didn’t really get cities having spent our entire lives (about 20 years old) in a little Northamptonshire market town.

    So one of my mates drives down in his work van. Typical white van. Can’t find anywhere to park and suddenly he can’t believe his luck as he comes across a completely empty street. So he parks up. After the gig he walks back to the van only to find the entire road closed off by the police. So he goes up to a copper and asks if he can go down there to get his van. “Your van?” Says the copper. “Yeah” replies my mate, “I parked it down there earlier”. “You fucking idiot” replies the copper, “10 more minutes and we’d have blown it up.”

    Turns out my mate had driven down the mall and parked up outside Buckingham palace.

  19. What Flubber said.

    Being hooked into a lot of police Twitter feeds (the better to keep an eye on them) I saw a Tweet about the need for a controlled explosion yesterday morning and raised an eyebrow at the location…

  20. @SMFS,

    Are you kidding? You’re running an organisation where the left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing, indeed where either hand doesn’t know what it is itself doing it seems, you’re obviously shit, you get fired.

  21. Devil’s advocate, but:

    Why wouldn’t a terrorist use a Corsa? OK it would be a smallish bomb and they should have noticed it sitting down on its suspension, but still just about plausible.

    Who thought the IRA would bomb Warrington, of all places?

    The RoP is known to attract random nutters and ISIS has said it wants people to carry out random attacks.

  22. Lol, Workington. One of the few places in England where there are actually no foreigners, and thus, apparently no terrorists (except for Derrick Bird).

  23. DJ – my cousin did a similar thing in the early Nineties, parked his work van under the DLR at Canary Wharf as he was working overnight in one of the buildings there. Finished about 4-5 in the morning, went back to the van, and spent most of the day being questioned, I think.

  24. @SMFS

    “This is the logical consequence of those two actions.”

    It is worth pointing out that Plod is heavily complicit in bringing us to this point and keeping us there. They quite happily acted as enforcers for the Fascist Labour party. Even with the Labour scum in Opposition, the Filth still patrols Twitter for nano-aggressions and is on the lookout for any whitey daring to express an opinion.

    Any public sector worker complaining about the situation first needs to look in the mirror.

    (Morning rant over).

  25. And of course the famous photo of the smiling coppers escorting the “Behead all those who insult Islam” demonstration from a decade or so back.

  26. monoi – “You’re running an organisation where the left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing, indeed where either hand doesn’t know what it is itself doing it seems, you’re obviously shit, you get fired.”

    Some people do a colleague a favour. Didn’t think it through. Happens all the time. In this case, basic British decency hits the zero-risk puppet theatre that is the British anti-terrorism effort.

    I don’t see why anyone would be fired for that.

  27. Cynic,

    Its not just Plod who are infested:

    “But Judge Pearce-Higgins said he was astonished the law was being used to ‘stop people swearing at each other’, describing the offence as ‘fairly standard behaviour in life.’

    He was so shocked when he heard the details of the accusation that he asked prosecutors if what she had done is even an offence.

    When does the Eckspurge start? It can’t be soon enough.

  28. Quick question(s).

    Was said Corsa painted white perchance? With orangey-red stripes down the side, blue lights on the roof and the words “Police” written on it? I’ve seen lots of vehicles meeting that description parked around police stations. Well dodgy if you ask me.

  29. “It shows they’re a hell of a lot more worried about terrorism than they’re prepared to let on.”

    Or they just enjoy blowing stuff up.

  30. What a pair of weapons grade, fucking pussies are Karl and Cheryl Smalley. We really need to come up with a means of legally draining the swamp of such oxygen thieves.

    As for plod blowing up cars they parked themselves, if anyone doesn’t believe that plod are completely dumb, useless, worthless arseholes, they haven’t had enough experience of life. My encounters with the filth in the UK, South Africa and Australia have convinced me that only sociopathic bastards become coppers.

  31. Who are Karl and Cheryl Smalley?

    In the UK, the police don’t investigate robberies any longer. They don’t walk the beat any longer. They don’t keep an eye out for people driving like maniacs any longer. Their principal functions appear to be to patrol Twitter and keep football fans from knifing each other. Do we actually need them?

  32. They also put cameras everywhere to catch people driving safely at the wrong arbitrary speed through randomly-selected variable limits which bear no relation to the road conditions. Don’t forget that essential service!

  33. Am I right that one set of plod actually parked the car there and the next shift came on and decided to blow it up? I think we can call that a ‘communication error’ but in the private sector someone would have to take the blame..

Leave a Reply

Name and email are required. Your email address will not be published.