How Fanatabulously fabulosa

I had seen this story and not thought much of it. Now I understand it a bit better and think it’s great:

A Church of England theological college has apologised after trainee priests held a church service in the antiquated gay slang language Polari to commemorate LGBT History Month.

Couldn’t give a bugger about LGBT history month of course but a service in Polari? Why the hell not?

Well, actually, given that this is the CoE, the only reason I can think of for why not is that only the priests would understand it.

46 comments on “How Fanatabulously fabulosa

  1. The reason “why not” is that the priests weren’t doing this for any practical purpose but for the sake of a facile political gesture. Therefore they were not treating the service seriously, and they were not being serious about the religion they are supposed to uphold.

    But then, the CoE isn’t really about Christianity any more. It’s become just another left-wing bureaucracy that chases every fashionable cause and takes its sermons from the editorial pages of the Guardian. The sooner it’s disestablished the better.

  2. “The sooner it’s disestablished the better.” Don’t be so limp-wrested: we should hang all the bishops and archbishops. Ditto the Roman Catholic ones.

  3. And not so long ago really, it was heresy punishable by burning to translate or say the Catholic Mass in any language other than Latin.

    Ditto the Bible.

  4. Sandy and Julian talking about their recent World cruise and when Julian was swept overboard in a storm:

    HORNE: But did you manage to drag yourself up on deck?
    JULIAN: Ooh, no, we dressed quite casual…

    The good old days of Round The Horne.

  5. Translating the bible from Latin may have been punishable, it could never be described as heresy though. (Of course there will have been any number of thick Catholic priests who did describe it as such).

  6. My objection to this… service is that Polar is an exclusionist special-interest language. Unless the service is intended to be universal it is not Christian, not that this would worry CoE clergy overmuch.

    On the subject of non-Christian; if anyone knows anybody at all who has ever been onnpilgrage to Lourdes with the Brighton &Arundel Diocese, pleasake sure they read this: I’ve seen you processing with your banners bearing rainbow representations. I don’t have any problem with LGBT or any groupings or letters of the alphabet. It is not, however, anything to do with processing at Lourdes and the symbol has no place there. You have learnt nothing of the faith and instead take all yor values from the secular, leftist propaganda drummed into you at each and every social event and circle you encounter down there. If you do not understand this then your pilgrimage should not take place.

  7. The Reformation gave the English the St James Bible(mostly Tyndale),and Cranmer’s Book of Common Prayer, in their own right, literary masterpieces and whose regular reading down the generations provided templates for dignified elegant prose. Their abandonment was an act of cultural vandalism.

  8. The event was described as “an attempt at queering the liturgy of evening prayer, locating the queer within the compass of faith, and recovering for the Christian tradition a sense of its own intrinsically subversive jouisance,”

    The service included a prayer that referred to God as “the Duchess” and dapted the traditional “Glory be to the father, and to the son, and the Holy Spirit” line of the Lord’s prayer to say: “Fabeness be to the Auntie, and to the Homie Chavvie, and to the Fantabulosa Fairy”.

    Tomas de Torquemada did nothing wrong.

    Also see this fantastical claim: Hate crimes in UK against LGBT community increases 147% since Brexit vote

    Wouldn’t be the first thing Elgibbity grievance merchants have pulled out of their bottoms.

  9. NN: without the preceding Reformation there would have been no Enlightenment, no freedoms of conscience nor speech, no empirical science, no individual human rights for ordinary people straight or qwerty. I don’t think apologies are called for. Will your aspiring Muslim overlords make any apologies when they do away with all of the above?

  10. The reason “why not” is that the priests weren’t doing this for any practical purpose but for the sake of a facile political gesture.

    Not that out of the ordinary in the CofE these days then.

  11. And not so long ago really, it was heresy punishable by burning to translate or say the Catholic Mass in any language other than Latin.

    Er, I’d hazard at least 400 years for that. Quite a long time really. Assuming you mean in England of course.

  12. The Inimitable Steve quoted: The service included a prayer that referred to God as “the Duchess” …

    Jimmy Savile History Month?

  13. “the St James Bible”: but he died somewhere about 40AD, and he didn’t speak English anyway. In fact, nobody did.

    I suspect you’re referring to the Authorised Version.

  14. “Hate crimes in UK against LGBT community increases 147% since Brexit vote”

    But why would that be? What plausible causal connection could there possibly be between Brexit and ‘hate’ crimes against the alphabet soup? Are we to suppose that alphabet-soupers are more prevalent among Romanian car washers and Beeg Ishoo sellers?

  15. Ironman, we happened to see a procession of schoolchildren in Brighton carrying papier-mache models and such, all very sweet; and, sure enough, there they were, three or four lgbtqwerty twats right in the middle with their f*cking flag. Everything really is all about them, isn’t it.

  16. It’s their club, they can do what they want with it or its/their followers, as long as they don’t spill out onto the streets and start bothering me with their sky fairies and bizarre beliefs then whateva.

  17. Slightly off topic, but in the not-too-distant past in Colwyn Bay there was a shop selling swimwear and the like. It was called Bona Watersports. I wonder if they realised . . .

  18. Round the Horne. Brings back childhood memories of 60s Sundays and the Radio. Amazing to think Kenneth Horne died in 1969. 1969 for God’s sake.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJ9yCeP1Keg

    A modern tribute with material from several Round The Horne scripts.

    J& S are “Bona Law” in one of the sketches:

    Mr Horne: “Perhaps you could take my case?”
    Julian: ” That depends on what it is. We’ve got a criminal practice that takes up most of our time”.

    As for the CoE.

    Invite the Archbishop of Cant in –along with his top henchmen–and let them have it

    “You cunts are drinking in the last chance saloon . Any more of your fuckwittery and you’ll be disestablished and find yourself being assessed for enough new taxes to have most of your crew selling their arseholes on street-corners in order to eat. Polari that you clerical smears.

    All your Cathedrals are belong to us”.

  19. It’s a pity the theophobes can’t come up with some more original insults. “Sky fairy” is getting old.

  20. @Ljh, February 4, 2017 at 3:18 pm
    “The Reformation gave the English the King James Bible(mostly Tyndale),and Cranmer’s Book of Common Prayer, in their own right, literary masterpieces and whose regular reading down the generations provided templates for dignified elegant prose. Their abandonment was an act of cultural vandalism.”

    ^ The main reason why I no longer attend Church on Sundays. Secondary reason is the ghastly modern hymns

  21. @Theophrastus, February 4, 2017 at 5:49 pm
    “Hate crimes in UK against LGBT community increases 147% since Brexit vote”

    But why would that be? What plausible causal connection could there possibly be between Brexit and ‘hate’ crimes against the alphabet soup? Are we to suppose that alphabet-soupers are more prevalent among Romanian car washers and Beeg Ishoo sellers?

    I had the same thought when I heard that claim. It doesn’t make sense.

    imho Fake News

  22. What would Jesus do?

    As Jesus went on from there, He saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax booth. “Follow Me,” He told him, and Matthew got up and followed Him.

    Later, as Jesus was dining at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with Him and His disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked His disciples, “Why does your Teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”

    On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

    Matthew 9:9-13

    And he spake this parable unto certain which trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others: Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess. And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner. I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.

    Luke 18:9-14

    A lot of so-called Christians act more like Pharisees. It’s a club for the virtuous, and sinners (as they see them) are not welcome. Who needs the Church’s spiritual help the most: the downtrodden, the persecuted, the hated… or the self-proclaimed Hyacinth Bucket-style ‘righteous’? Which sort did Jesus prefer to hang around with?

    And wouldn’t that make said sinners more likely to follow Jesus than the ways of the Pharisees?

    “Don’t be so limp-wrested: we should hang all the bishops and archbishops. Ditto the Roman Catholic ones.”

    Or ask the Romans to nail them to a cross, perhaps?

    “But why would that be? What plausible causal connection could there possibly be between Brexit and ‘hate’ crimes against the alphabet soup?”

    The theory is obviously that the same people doing both, and that having won on Brexit, they’ve got a bit excited and are now trying to push through the rest of their traditionalist agenda. The theory is that Brexit was mostly about intolerant older folks who don’t like the way society has changed culturally, something elitist europhile politicians are perceived to have pushed, and want things to go back to the way things were in the “good old days”.

    I’m not saying it’s necessarily an accurate characterisation, but it’s the impression many outsiders perceive. And saying things like “we should hang all the bishops and archbishops” because they associated themselves with the same sort of cultural changes probably doesn’t do anything to dispel it.

  23. In Carolingian times there were attempts to translate the Bible into German, supported by the Popes. Nothing much came of it apart from the first two books.

  24. NiV

    And lo, Jesus.said unto the scribes and the tax collectors “it’s a valid lifestyle choice Mate; You won’t get no HATE SPEECH from me”.

  25. NiV: “What would Jesus do?”

    You’re reaching down aren’t you NiV ? Better to ask what would NiV do?

    ” It’s a club for the virtuous, and sinners (as they see them) are not welcome”

    That’s kind of what its about. If it was a club for scum they’d be in politics or social work.

    “And wouldn’t that make said sinners more likely to follow Jesus than the ways of the Pharisees?”

    Hanging about with sinners makes them change? Like you and the Jihadis you mean?

    “The theory is obviously that the same people doing both, and that having won on Brexit, they’ve got a bit excited and are now trying to push through the rest of their traditionalist agenda.”

    Traditionalism like free speech, equality before the law etc–all that stuff your Kalifornia LQBT–whatever-the-fuck pals are busy beating, assaulting and pepper-spraying “traditional” folk over. As your cultural changers show just what they are made of.

    “The theory is that Brexit was mostly about intolerant older folks”

    Intolerant of what NiV? Middle-class Marxist pricks who think socialist tyranny is cool. Cos that’s who you are a tool for. Yeah I’m intolerant of them scum NiV. And of fools like you whose obsession with weirdos who want to shove their dicks anywhere other than they were intended to go. When they aren’t wanting taxpayers cash to have them lopped off.

    “who don’t like the way society has changed culturally, something elitist europhile politicians are perceived to have pushed, and want things to go back to the way things were in the “good old days”.”

    IE when society wasn’t rotten with CM vermin who think old people like me shouldn’t have a vote.

    “I’m not saying it’s necessarily an accurate characterisation, ”

    That’s mighty white of you NiV.

    “it’s the impression many outsiders perceive”

    Oh noes. Because what some twat thinks of–and even worse FEELS ABOUT–you is what matters right. Gotta signal your virtue or some piece of middle-class Marxist shite might not like you. Sweet screamin’ Jesus save us from that.

    “And saying things like “we should hang all the bishops and archbishops” because they associated themselves with the same sort of cultural changes probably doesn’t do anything to dispel it.”

    Hanging the trendy crowd would cost money. Sack ’em is the cheaper way.

  26. “And lo, Jesus.said unto the scribes and the tax collectors “it’s a valid lifestyle choice Mate; You won’t get no HATE SPEECH from me”.”

    Of course. Reasoned persuasion works better.

    “Injoher words, His mercy is predicated.on ot beig a sin. So I don’t know, what would Jesus do?”

    And the Church still sees practising LGBT sex as a sin, but still ought to be talking to them, trying to make friends with them, and gain their trust. (“Love the sinner, hate the sin.”) How else to persuade them towards abstinence and virtue? As opposed to denouncing them as filthy sinners to be shunned from the pulpit?

    I don’t agree with the church about what counts as a sin, but I see their use of such tactics in making their case to be sensible and more likely succeed (unfortunately). You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, as they say. The leftists use honey. The church has tried using honey. Does it really make sense for you to keep on using the vinegar?

  27. Given that Brexit triggered the biggest mass hysteria since….well, perhaps the biggest ever, it isn’t surprising that the permanently and often imaginatively offended saw a surge in their hit rate.

    I’m calling bollocks on that one.

  28. “it isn’t surprising that the permanently and often imaginatively offended saw a surge in their hit rate.”

    Who are you talking about?

    The leftist hysterics, or the LGBTers?

  29. BiF,
    It was the council of Trent which outlawed the translation of the Bible out of the Vulgate, as part of the counter reformation. There are certainly examples of people happily reading italian bibles in Rome in the 1530s. Prior to that I think translation was at the discretion of the local prince/cardinal.

  30. @niv

    “And the Church still sees practising LGBT sex as a sin, but still ought to be talking to them, trying to make friends with them, and gain their trust. (“Love the sinner, hate the sin.”) How else to persuade them towards abstinence and virtue?”

    As you will find going on in most evangelical Anglican churches. What they don’t then do is say “and by the way, God has changed his mind, LGBT see is no longer sinful”.
    The call on all to repent of their sins, be that theft, hatred, inappropriate heterosexual relationships, gluttony, or homosexual relationships, and turn to Christ in faith for forgiveness.

    The difference with the evangelicals and the rest of the CofE is that good chunks of the rest of the CofE are redefining sin, rather than being less welcoming to all.

  31. Shirl Ock-Holmes

    ‘ “Sky fairy” is getting old.’

    what would you suggest ?

    Ethereal Supreme Being perhaps ?

    Doesn’t stop the followers being delusional fuckwits though does it ?

  32. “The call on all to repent of their sins, be that theft, hatred, inappropriate heterosexual relationships, gluttony, or homosexual relationships, and turn to Christ in faith for forgiveness.”

    Yes. That’s what the people of the Church believe. I believe differently. But I also believe it’s possible to have a civilised conversation about it, and that you are no more likely to persuade people they’re wrong by denouncing their sins as disgusting and perverted than you are to persuade people to turn away from the Church by talking of their delusions about “sky fairies”. It’s possible to disagree without being hostile and unpleasant about it. It’s your choice whether to be polite, but you will get judged on it.

    I’m pointing out that tactically, when it comes to the culture war, the left rely on this sort of reaction from the church and the right to discredit them. They find groups for which there is public sympathy, back them, wait for the predictable counter-reaction from the church and the reactionary right, and use that to justify ever more repressive measures. It works, because you always fall into the trap. The minority they pick to support turns to them and against the group showing them nothing but hostility, the stereotype of the bigoted right-winger gets another line of support in the eyes of the public, and the left become the heroes in all this.

    They’re very clever. The church has to be equally clever if it wants to survive. Jesus beat the Pharisees ultimately because he made friends with the sinners and presented them with a picture of a good person they respected and wanted to emulate, without him having to compromise on his own beliefs. Look and learn.

    “The difference with the evangelicals and the rest of the CofE is that good chunks of the rest of the CofE are redefining sin, rather than being less welcoming to all.”

    Yes. They have a problem in that society has already redefined it not to be a sin, and a lot of their other beliefs to be obvious nonsense, and they’re losing numbers. And that means they’re losing public support, money, and ultimately, power. So now you have the argument going on between the believers who joined up because it was what they believed, and an alliance of the career men who want to preserve the church’s power and influence, and the newcomers who entered the church from society holding society’s beliefs.

    It’s nothing new. Protestantism arose when society’s changed values conflicted with the Church’s traditional authoritarianism. The Church has “redefined sin” many times. It splits and splinters, and whatever your beliefs, you’re sure to find some bit of the Church to join that fits.

    I have my arguments with this sort of revisionism – it always strikes me as a bit dishonest to claim to follow a religion set by scripture and ancient tradition, while constantly redefining it to say or mean whatever you like. It’s an excuse for telling people “do as *I* say, because that’s what God demands”. But it’s always been the way the Church operated, right from the beginning. Jesus modified the message of Moses. Paul modified the message of Jesus. Constantine modified Paul’s message. And Popes and Councils ever since have modified the rules to follow the levers of power. (I mean, the Pope lives in a palace filled with gold and priceless artworks! – what the fuck does that have to do with Jesus’s original message of humility and giving up all your worldly goods to go out and help the poor?! Nor is the CoE any better in that regard.) In a sense, therefore, “redefining sin” *is* following the most ancient traditions of the Church.

  33. The main emotion I feel when contemplating the Church of England is cringing embarrassment. This stunt sounds like a bad stand-up act by a lousy comedian.

  34. “But I also believe it’s possible to have a civilised conversation about it,”

    If it were a conversation NiV maybe so. But I think it likely that few Charm Schools teach lessons in hyena tactics and pepper-spraying as part of their training in the Art of Conversation.

    What is going on is an attempt on the life of Western Civilisation and your sexually oddball friends seem content to lend their …designations… to the cause of socialist evil. This is unfortunate because my enemy’s friends/helpers/enablers are also my enemies.

    Not universally true –Milo is an example. But there is visible no great backlash of the unusually-tasted –so to speak–sticking up for Trump and/or calling for an end to the left’s capers in their name. That leads me to suspect that they mostly support the left. If so–then so much the worse for them.

    “It’s possible to disagree without being hostile and unpleasant about it.”

    In a debate–not a fight for your life. I want the left stopped in their tracks. Debate isn’t going to do that–it never has. Some–Peter Hitchens springs to mind as a former Marxian tho’ still a weird–might see the light after bitter experience. But why the fuck should the rest of us suffer while that MIGHT be happening.

    “Jesus beat the Pharisees ultimately because”–

    –He was the Son of God. That is more likely as an hypothesis to me than that his teachings have outlasted empires because he was well versed in half-arsed Saul Alinsky tactics.

    ” he made friends with the sinners and presented them with a picture of a good person they respected and wanted to emulate, without him having to compromise on his own beliefs. Look and learn.”

    This is your “making friends” with Jihadis cockrot. You are like a little child in the face of evil .Do you think you could have made friends with Uncle Joe Stalin? He might have made a show if there was a scrap of usefulness in you. But once that was gone he would have been looking thro’ a little cell window laughing and mocking as you got the shit beaten out of you. “Beat, Beat,Beat” as Uncle Joe approvingly put it himself. Against such people fools like you would not only be destroyed easily but likely help drag far better and wiser men down with you.

    “tactically, when it comes to the culture war, the left rely on this sort of reaction from the church and the right to discredit them. They find groups for which there is public sympathy,”

    No –mega-dumb. There is no widespread support for the sexually unusual amongst the public beyond “you don’t bother me/I won’t bother you” tolerance. CM is about recruiting enough bleeding hearts and SJW pukes with a grudge against middle-class Mummy and Daddy to get control of the levers of power. The left have got away with their antics but are no “heros” to the public. We have had 2 recent demos of their popularity. And most of those on their side are likely very uneasy about the kind of Marxian scum they find themselves in bed with-so to speak.

    The rest of your ramblings about religion/church etc you would be better discussing with some trendy Vicar with time on her hands. Say at Service time every Sunday.

  35. “If it were a conversation NiV maybe so. But I think it likely that few Charm Schools teach lessons in hyena tactics and pepper-spraying as part of their training in the Art of Conversation.”

    True. And I think in the long run it’s going to hurt them. But they get to justify that by citing people like you. You’re very helpful to them in that regard.

    “What is going on is an attempt on the life of Western Civilisation and your sexually oddball friends seem content to lend their …designations… to the cause of socialist evil.”

    Can you blame them? When they get support from the SJWs, and nothing but hatred from people like you?

    They’re ordinary people like the vast majority of voters who have little knowledge of politics or the evils of socialism – the vast majority of people get their opinions from the MSM. They’re taught the stereotype of the right-wing bigot, and if they were ever to come across your rantings, they’d find the stereotype confirmed 100%. Total victory handed to the SJWs on a silver platter, with a decorative sprig of parsley on top.

    “But there is visible no great backlash of the unusually-tasted –so to speak–sticking up for Trump and/or calling for an end to the left’s capers in their name. That leads me to suspect that they mostly support the left.”

    Yeah. I remember the nasty comments here about Caitlyn Jenner, who turned out to be a Trump-supporting Republican, and who took a fair bit of flack from the Permanently Offended on the left for doing so. Did that garner her any support or sympathy here? No! Of course not!

    The left throw hatred at Caitlyn because she’s a Republican and they put the fight for socialism ahead of supporting LGBTer. Your lot threw hatred at Caitlyn because you put the fight against LGBTers ahead of the fight against socialism. You would rather kick a right-wing Trump-supporting Republican in the crotch than show any sympathy for an LGBTer. And that can only be because you’re not fighting socialism – it’s just an excuse and a justification for maintaining your bigotry.

    And given that, how can it be a surprise to anyone that they would choose to join the left? How welcome would people like Caitlyn be made, coming here?

    “In a debate–not a fight for your life. I want the left stopped in their tracks.”

    Stop helping them then! Stop handing them more ammunition!

    “Do you think you could have made friends with Uncle Joe Stalin?”

    Are you really that idiotic?! You’re completely missing the point I’m making! Again!

    Uncle Joe climbed to power by claiming to support the poor against the exploitation of the Czarist rich. Stalin told them that you rich capitalists held them in contempt and took the lion’s share of the wealth that was rightfully theirs through their hard work. You don’t defeat that by making friends with Uncle Joe. You defeat it by making friends with the poor and working classes. You know and I know that Stalin didn’t give a damn for the poor, and that free market capitalism offers them their best chance of escaping poverty, but how can you persuade the poor of that when Stalin is loudly supporting them and you’re putting the boot into them at every opportunity “because they support socialists”? Even the ones who are vocally opposing them?

    Stalin’s socialists are not the same people as the poor Russian peasants. Kicking peasants is not the right way to fight Stalin.

  36. I don’t see this as a big issue. The CofE has rules about the form of liturgy to be used in services. Only approved forms may be used. If you want to do something out the ordinary you just have to get it approved. In our village church we have had all sorts of services (Danish reformed, orthodox, Ugandan Episcopalian, US baptist), but they all get approval beforehand. Every month I make up an order of service for a family service that uses standard sources that gets approved by the vicar.

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