To get to the point

It’s Straight Bananas That Made Me Support Brexit Too

And that’s why straight bananas are a reason to leave the EU. Not because this is anything about straight or bendy bananas it’s because we’re being taken over by the anal retentives, those who gain near sexual pleasure from the criminalisation of routine activity, the bansturbators.

That the banana industry has an internally agreed standard for what is a Class 1 banana is just fine, most useful in fact. A legal and economic regime which makes selling a bendy banana for human consumption a criminal offence is something to be escaped at the first opportunity. And I do say this as someone who really has written one such industry standard. Make it a criminal offence to violate my reading of how scandium transactions take place? That’s almost as absurd as trying to make one country out of 28 that have spent the last 1,500 years fighting each other, isn’t it?

29 comments on “To get to the point

  1. The bananas thing, dictating what sort of lightbulbs you’re allowed to buy, the inanity of forcing women to pay more for car insurance because “gender equality”…

    So many pettifogging rules we never needed or asked for. Another thing that opened my eyes was the shameful treatment of Rocco Buttiglione, which proved the EU is fundamentally intolerant of Christians.

  2. the inanity of forcing women to pay more for car insurance because “gender equality”…

    Actually, I quite liked that one. A rare bit of blowback.

  3. the inanity of forcing women to pay more for car insurance because “gender equality”…

    My son was going through his radical left wing phase when that happened and we had an argument over it when I was taking him back to university – all he could see was equality. He shut up when I asked if he was happy with a wealth transfer from young women to young men? He shut up for the rest of the journey. He didn’t like it when it affected his girlfriend either.

    He’s no longer a left wing radical, having shared a house with a card carrying Trot and a few other radicals he’s now very firmly in the classic liberal free market camp.

  4. But, but, but … the bendy banana rules aren’t as mirth-provoking as the bendy cucumber rules. Or at least they weren’t when last I looked.

  5. A friend and colleague of mine was in that Question Time audience, had a very good.chat with David Dimbleby and got a terrific self have reduced the great man to tears of laughter.

    He also spoke very well on TV himself, although I didn’t agree with his point of view. He is, however, infuriated by the snide references made about this woman on Facebook by his friends. Or at least people he thought were friends but who is now seriously thinking about in terms of “do.I really know you? ”

    I have enjoyed expanding to hin that this is what modern Socialism is in the UK; a curious mixture of half-arsed logic and the superciliousness bred, beautfiilly ironically, by the English class system.

  6. “a curious mixture of half-arsed logic and the superciliousness bred, beautfiilly ironically, by the English class system.”

    You see this a lot on reddit in /r/unitedkingdom. Loads of snide circlejerking about how Brexiters don’t understand what they voted for, all while spouting Remain talking points totally uncritically.

  7. That the banana industry has an internally agreed standard for what is a Class 1 banana is just fine, most useful in fact. A legal and economic regime which makes selling a bendy banana for human consumption a criminal offence is something to be escaped at the first opportunity.

    It isn’t a criminal offence to “sell a bendy banana for human consumption”.

  8. ‘An herb’ Tim?

    Yeah it’s the sort of thing that would written in a letter by an historian from an hotel.

    I confess that I find the usage absurd too. But maybe Timmy drops his aitches: then it would make sense.

  9. “You Americans pronounce it ‘erbs’ while we Brits pronounce it “herbs”. Why do we? Cause the word has a fucking ‘h’ in it”

    Eddie Izzard

  10. Never seen a Class 2 banana?

    I challenge you to report the chief executive of Metro Group to the Eurostasi for the banana I bought yesterday for today’s breakfast. I’ll be happy to keep a receipt and take photos on the next occasion (though videoing the transaction through the till would breach personal rights) – and I will be a witness to the illegal transaction in court for you.

    Up for it?

  11. Yes, but pronouncing it an erb is a crime against the language and frankly someone ought to stop them doing it.

  12. “Over there” you people pronounce the “h” in herb?
    My god, how uncivilized! Barbaric! Uneducated!

  13. Have purchased bendy bananas several times at the supermarket for father in law.
    Come to think of it, a straight banana would be uncommon when have been to the market or supermarket. Often a curve.
    Perhaps all the curved ones had been taken by other shoppers and she had what was left?

  14. Except Tim, it is not an EU rule. It is a global rule set by UNECE. It is made law via the EU currently; but if we weren’t in the EU we would still have to adopt it.

  15. MG,
    Heir is pronounced like air over here.
    How do you all pronounce it?

    Over here being the ten or so states I’ve lived in. No exceptions that I know of, although it isn’t a word that comes up very often in casual conversation

  16. LPT said: “Except Tim, it is not an EU rule. It is a global rule set by UNECE. It is made law via the EU currently; but if we weren’t in the EU we would still have to adopt it.”

    The UNECE rules on fruit and veg are aimed at import/export trade. Defining different classes means commercial buyers can buy from foreign producers knowing what they will be getting. eg UNECE STANDARD FFV-10 concerning the marketing and commercial quality control of CARROTS (pdf)

    They are not intended to apply all the way to the retail end of the chain but as best I can make out the EU does apply them that far. The marketing standards for import/export and wholesale surely don’t need to apply to retail – end consumers can generally see what they are buying.

    Even in 2008 when the EU tried to simplify the rules all they did was add a new classification of ‘intended for processing’ to cover certain types of wonky fruit and veg.

    Return of the curvy cucumber

Leave a Reply

Name and email are required. Your email address will not be published.