Err, what?

Living off-grid in India, am I the only one left who believes in globalisation?
Tishani Doshi
Life here has drawbacks – villagers poisoning our dogs being one – but it is a way of saving oneself from post-Trump inwardness and isolation

But, but….

My husband complains. He would like to see the local life, engage in philosophical conversations with fishermen, make documentaries about the syncretic religions of the area. “This is not a Sardinian village,” I tell him. “We can’t just walk into the centro and chat with the baker. There is no baker.”

The truth is, we probably could find someone like the baker. But I didn’t want to be saddled with translator duty. Even though I’ve spent most of my life in Tamil Nadu, Tamil isn’t my mother tongue; I prefer when locals think I’m a vellekari (white woman) with a terrific talent for language. I also didn’t want to get embroiled in village politics. We had already had one bad incident with the villagers – they poisoned five of our dogs because they claimed (probably correctly) the animals had been eating their chickens at night. I wasn’t about to converse with dog-killers.

The real reason I was uncomfortable about making local forays, though, was because I’m uncomfortable with inequality. “How is it going to work?” I ask. “We go over to their thatched hut for a chai, then invite them over to our villa for mocktails?” Like many Indians, I deal with disparities by constructing a kind of inner wall so as to be able to get on with life.

Living, hermetically sealed off in a compound in Tamil Nadu is the way to save oneself from inwardness and isolation?

Changing the subject, why is it that those who claim to be writers so rarely have much spark to their prose?

Take this for example. It’s about nothing very much at all but it has a certain sparkle to it. And he would describe himself as a journalist, not “a writer”.

29 comments on “Err, what?

  1. “Living off-grid in India, am I the only one left who believes in globalisation?”

    Then . . . how are you posting in the internet?

    Living ‘off the grid’ doesn’t mean ‘its more than a 10 minute drive to Starbucks’.

  2. She is like a South Asian Polly Toynbee – graciously descending on the plebs, but not wanting to get too close to them.

    I regret the dogs.

  3. There’s a problem I frequently see when writers go off into politics who really haven’t congealed their thoughts. They have this vague smorgasbord of stuff they feel they should mention (Trump, the environment, rich/poor), but they’re bluffing. And it shows. The flow comes, I think, from having something that’s first been properly constructed.

    And she’s a poet. And rubbish. Like nearly all poets today. If she was any damn good she’d be writing for Disney musicals.

  4. We constantly talk about growing our own vegetables, getting a cow and installing solar panels

    That’s the way.

  5. Always impresses me how the hippier dippier side of the left has such a love affair with India & its culture. That Hinduism, thanks to the caste system, is racist* from top to bottom doesn’t seem to bother them in the slightest. Yet they never seem to be too keen on homesteading with Afrikaners on the Veldt, do they?
    Personally, I reserve my admiration for cultures manage to feed their children.

    *Yeah OK. But if I can get called out for referring to an Irishman as a paddy, what’s sauce for the goose.

  6. “Last spring, while travelling through the US,”

    The way she says it you know is wasn’t a once-a-year-family holiday to Disneyworld. Well-off.

    ” my husband and I stopped in Pensacola, Florida, where he had lived for a few years as an exchange student from Italy. The city had been gentrified since he had been there in the mid-80s, but you could still play cornhole in certain establishments, residents spoke of their guns as if they were pets and the political vibe was distinctly Trumpian.”

    Oh No. Non-well off people.. Little people. Not middle-class Cultural Marxists.

    ” It’s where I first came across the word “prepper” – people who opt to live off the grid, stocked with supplies, oftentimes armed, preparing for the end of the world. Not all preppers are doomsday conspiracy theorists; some are merely Hurricane Katrina survivors,”

    I first heard the word survivalist in 1980. Prepper is what is said now. So what happens outside her crappy bubble likely interests her very little until she things stop going her way.

    ” learning to work the land and committed to a more sustainable way of life.”

    If “sustainable” is in their minds they are likely eco-freaks and not preppers. Survivalism is about keeping the hope of humanity alive not volunteering to return to primitive squalor. Or pretending to while expelling CM verbal diarrhea down their sat-phone and into the shell-like of their Gladrag reading chum(p)s back the UK.

    “I realised then that my husband and I had been quasi-preppers for four years. We live on a remote beach in Tamil Nadu between two fishing villages, not in anticipation of the end of the world – although in the last 15 years our coast has seen a tsunami, cyclones, floods and an oil spill – but because the cost of living is cheap, the air is clean, and as writers we can handle the isolation.”

    If you spell “quasi” as c-r-a-z-y then a small amount of that tripe might be true. If you are a prepper with no “sustainable” means of support , who lives in a tsunami zone , between two villages who have already shown you hostility. And of course you are CM scum who would likely shit their pants at the sight of a gun, let alone be able to use one in defence of self/loved ones/property.

    ” We constantly talk about growing our own vegetables, getting a cow and installing solar panels, and, while we aren’t living off the land yet, we are far removed from urban India.”

    So you are lazy leftist windbags who have done f-all towards your own survival. But have already antagonised villagers who likely live far too close to nature and cut animals throats every day. Think about that you dozy cow.

    “We receive no post, have no television, must sit on a particular part of the bed to get 3G, and leave the compound only when we run out of food.”

    You wouldn’t last the week should the end of Western Civilisation arrive.

    “My husband complains. He would like to see the local life, engage in philosophical conversations with fishermen, make documentaries about the syncretic religions of the area. “This is not a Sardinian village,” I tell him. “We can’t just walk into the centro and chat with the baker. There is no baker.”

    The truth is, we probably could find someone like the baker. But I didn’t want to be saddled with translator duty. Even though I’ve spent most of my life in Tamil Nadu, Tamil isn’t my mother tongue; I prefer when locals think I’m a vellekari (white woman) with a terrific talent for language.”

    Again– a lazy selfish cow who should have been named Mimi First or similar. The husband also sounds a prat–as if the locals are likely to want to waste much of their nasty-brutish-and short listening to translated Guardian-speak.

    ” I also didn’t want to get embroiled in village politics. We had already had one bad incident with the villagers – they poisoned five of our dogs because they claimed (probably correctly) the animals had been eating their chickens at night. I wasn’t about to converse with dog-killers.”

    As Julia says the woman cares f-all about her dogs or the villagers. Bad blood –just the sort of thing that tends to get worked out in a survival situation once the coppers can’t call any more.

    “The real reason I was uncomfortable about making local forays, though, was because I’m uncomfortable with inequality. “How is it going to work?” I ask. “We go over to their thatched hut for a chai, then invite them over to our villa for mocktails?” Like many Indians, I deal with disparities by constructing a kind of inner wall so as to be able to get on with life.”

    That is to say–despite your crocodile tears–you don’t give a shit. When you aren’t making their lives worse by not knowing or caring if your dogs are killing their chickens. Given all that, inviting them over to see how well you live would indeed be double dumb.

    Even so –if you were a supporter of capitalism to give them a better life that would be something. As Gladrag fodder your skin-deep talk about “free markets” rings as false and nasty as everything else about you.

    “Before Britain voted to leave the EU, I still believed in the idea of globalisation.”

    Free trade is not the same thing as political/bureaucratic global takeover.

    ” As the child of a Welsh mother and Gujarati father, coming of age in the conservative southern Indian city of Madras, I had struggled with being a casteless, godless, mixed-race nothing.”

    But you have grown-up to be so nice and selfless!

    ” With globalisation I could embrace my multiculturalism with all the exuberance of a Benetton ad.”

    And piss on everybody else of course.

    ” The fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989, and the subsequent economic liberalisation policies of India in the 90s”

    Economic freedom and free trade. Little to do with the UN-EU international CM tyranny that the Remainiacs and the Killery/Trump Derangement Gangs support.

    “created an opening, the kind my mother described when she talked of the 60s. She grew up in a village in north Wales in 50s postwar gloom with the same meal on the table every day.”

    Just bollocks. The same meal every day? That doesn’t happen in jail never mind Wales. And tho’ the UK doesn’t have the Tamil sunshine–as if that is anti-(pol) globalism’s fault- we don’t go up the nearest alley for a shite either so don’t come it.

    ” For her, listening to the Beatles in a dancehall in Mold – before they got big – heralded change: “Something was happening, everyone could feel it.”

    Likely puberty. Shame her daughter’s emotions haven’t got there yet

    “If we think of history not as an ascending spiral of human advance, but an unending cycle in which changing knowledge interacts with unchanging human needs, where freedom is recurrently won and lost in an alternation that includes long periods of anarchy and tyranny,”

    Hindu fatalism now is it?

    ” as political philosopher John Gray”

    Another leftist prick.

    ” suggests, then we could say that something is happening now that is the opposite of an opening up. The dream of free borders, free trade and free movement is in decline. There is a shift towards inwardness and isolation.”

    Trump is in error standing against free trade. Which does not need multi-million word bullshit govt “trade deals”.

    To Little Mrs Selfless however,free borders/movement only means she can fetch up and patronise or ignore the locals wherever she and all her middle/upper class CM buddies like. Millions of left-voting yobs raping and ruining the West is what she wants. Until her cell-phone network starts to collapse and she realises the civilisation she relies on (even as her gang heaps venom on it) is kaput. And she will –if they let her live–shortly be joining the villagers in their ancient lifestyle whether she likes it or not.

    “It would be facile after the 2008 financial crisis,”

    Caused by the Keynesian, corporate socialism of the state. Nothing to do with free markets.

    ” and more recently the Brexit vote and Trump,”#

    Caused by little people sick of political globalist groping towards tyranny and sick of the well-off CM pukes cheerleading the rush for tyranny.

    “to maintain that globalisation has not had serious failings. It would be a kind of liberal madness to invoke Diogenes and insist on calling ourselves cosmopolitans when there are more than 10 million stateless people in the world, ”

    She hates nations but is whinging about 10 million “stateless”. Surely that is much better than supporting those nasty parochial countries?

    “when governments are building walls to keep refugees out. ”

    Invaders is the word.

    “We can’t talk about being global citizens without admitting that those with golden passports can travel freely, while many millions cannot.”

    Not every one can be a selfless CM Gladraggian like her. Say it isn’t so.

    ” For all the bonhomie and brotherhood that globalisation promised, it has not been able to prevent the rise of an extreme and divisive kind of politics in countries across the world. ”

    Cos Rotherham and Cologne were just flowing with brotherhood and goodwill. There is nothing “extreme” about caring for my own people more than some bunch of imported 18-30 yob rapists and killers.

    “What does this mean for those of us who still believe in hybridisation and the immigrant’s dream,”

    It means that you can fuck off.

    ” who delight in being able to tell a stranger on the bus the story of our life,”

    Me,me,me,me. That a stranger doesn’t want to hear her fascinating story doesn’t even occur to her.

    ” or who want to be the stranger on the bus? How can we continue to feel part of a global project that has excluded so many? ”

    If by excluded you mean not allowing the extremely bad cultures of the middle east and sub Sahara Africa to fetch up over here, then you better get used to feeling excluded.

    “For some, it has involved taking action on behalf of a wider group: organising rallies and marches of solidarity, writing in newspapers, challenging local governments to uphold hard-won rights”

    The hard-won right to destroy and balkanise other peoples nations? The snowflakes and Remainiac CM scum can all fuck themselves.

    .” For others it has been about saving themselves. Since Donald Trump was elected, there has been a spike in the sales of survivalist gear. The new breed of preppers aren’t the rightwing, beef-jerky variety of the past.”

    Past? Still plenty of them around love. And if the middle-class left are all as lazy as you they won’t last very long.

    And Donald Trump=the end of the world? If only it did equal the end of the world of CM scum. But there will have to a long hard battle until the last of you scum are finally defeated and your lies dispelled.

    “These are Silicon Valley honchos and wealthy hedge-fund managers who are buying up chunks of New Zealand real estate, stocking up on Bitcoin and investing in underground, nuclear-resistant condos in case the US economy collapses – or war breaks out.”

    The rich leftist scum who have thrived on corporate socialism. If the NZ population are smart they will confiscate all that these pseudo-businessmen have. A just punishment for the leftist crap most of them spew and the help they have given the US Alphabet thugs already.

    “In my fishing village in Tamil Nadu, I realise the irony of writing about the idea of everywhere from the middle of nowhere. But as someone who is used to isolation, I know the dangers well. Walls are polarising – they exaggerate dangers to selfhood.”

    But enough about the rest of the world. Lets talk some more about me,me,me.

    ” I’ve said to my friends that when ugly, cookie-cutter holiday homes sprout along the beach, and the proposed coal plant gets its clearance further down the coast, I will build a bamboo fence so I won’t have to see. But a fence won’t stop the toxic fumes, the rivers of plastic, the erosion of beach.”

    Those wretched little people who don’t want their crappy fishing lifestyle any more and might want a satphone of their own. Those free trade scum. I’m going to build a wall.

    “So while some of us might want to hunker down and mark our territory, to forget that the local connects us to the larger world”

    Are you joking chicken killer?

    “would be an act of historical blindness. If we accept that these are times of discomfort – that in a way, it is always a time of discomfort – then the thing to do might be to walk outside the parameters we have created for ourselves and talk to someone we normally wouldn’t. Extend a hand. ”

    Having just said a few paras before that she can’t be arsed to do just that.

    “Citizens of Everywhere is a project by the Centre for New and International Writing at the University of Liverpool. @CitizensofWhere #CitizensofEverywhere”

    Which is another reason Unis need to be purged and the dissemination of cultural Marxism taken off the public tit.

  7. Living, hermetically sealed off in a compound in Tamil Nadu is the way to save oneself from inwardness and isolation?

    This is the Guardian.

  8. Ecks, that was marvellous, but you could have stuck with just this one beautiful phrase in response to every rhetorical question.

    It means that you can fuck off.

    Couldn’t have put it better myself.

    I do want to know how many dogs we are talking about when she says “poisoned five of our dogs”, implying that there were more. How were or are they feeding them?

    Oh, right. Chickens.

  9. “they poisoned five of our dogs because they claimed (probably correctly) the animals had been eating their chickens at night. I wasn’t about to converse with dog-killers.”

    So your pets kill the villagers’ livestock, one of their few assets and *they’re* the evil ones?

    Even in cuddly, ffluffy Wales it’s perfectly legal for a farmer to shoot a dog that’s harassing livestock…

  10. Just looked the woman up. Why is it all the Guardians left-wing opinion writers are good looking women? Don’t they give the but ugly snowflakes a chance?

    Or perhaps it is like a cult – the Guardian needs to good looking ones to real you in…

  11. Why is it all the Guardians left-wing opinion writers are good looking women?

    Granted, she’s not bad, but all of them?

  12. Bloody hell. Oblong must be right.

    No sentient creature can possibly have so little self-awareness without being in a coma, right? This has got to be the work of an Asian Godfrey Elfwick character.

    I still believed in the idea of globalisation. As the child of a Welsh mother and Gujarati father, coming of age in the conservative southern Indian city of Madras, I had struggled with being a casteless, godless, mixed-race nothing. With globalisation I could embrace my multiculturalism with all the exuberance of a Benetton ad.

    The destruction of the West as psychotherapy. Discuss.

  13. Jgh – Stocking up on BitCoin to survive the collapse of civilisation? !?!?!

    I know, right?

    Also lolsome is nerds thinking they won’t be cannibal snacks or sex slaves when it all goes Mad Max.

  14. That article was hilarious – reads like a spoof in parts.

    Indeed, it is indistinguishable from parody.

    First thing to note: Preppers tend to be morons. Nature girl and her hubby simply confirm that essential truth.

  15. Zoe Williams…..

    Not the worst I have seen. I have dated worst whilst under the influence.

  16. Even in the Guardian the most-recommended comments would fit nicely on this thread – people seem to think she’s an arse

  17. bloke in spain – “Always impresses me how the hippier dippier side of the left has such a love affair with India & its culture. That Hinduism, thanks to the caste system, is racist* from top to bottom doesn’t seem to bother them in the slightest. Yet they never seem to be too keen on homesteading with Afrikaners on the Veldt, do they?”

    Well Hinduism was a big influence on the Nazis. That’s where they got all those ideas about the Aryan races and the use of the swastika. At the infamous 2001 Durban UNESCO conference on why Whitey is to blame for everything, the Indians lobbied very hard to get Caste taken off the agenda. Various groups had tried to include it as a form of racism. They were successful. The Arab states were not so successful because demanding money from Whitey for slavery inevitably ended up with discussions of Muslim slavery. Well, discussions seems a little polite.

    “Personally, I reserve my admiration for cultures manage to feed their children.”

    Without the West would any of them be able to?

  18. India is a major food exporter.

    Meanwhile Singapore can’t feed itself.

    Does that make India competently run and Singapore not?

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