As I’ve said, Salon’s doing porn for their crowd

I wasn’t a popular girl in high school. Awkward and artsy, I managed to escape being asked to any dances save my disastrous senior prom. But in my bathing suit, I was a tall and willowy clean slate with mile-long legs and breasts like half-oranges: not huge but cheerfully proportioned. When I put on a bathing suit, I could draw the attention of men and boys without having to talk to them. Their admiring looks were enough to get me started on my long, tedious education on the uneasy power of male-female dynamics.

The first swimsuit I bought was a white, black and silver speckled bikini.

15 comments on “As I’ve said, Salon’s doing porn for their crowd

  1. The sun will kill you, she insisted. It will burn you and suck you dry. You will get spots and cancer […] My mother was a redhead

    Living in Southern California, her mother was entirely right. Redheads belong in Scotland; or in Washington State, if they insist on living in the new world.

  2. If that load of malarkey fails to induce sleep they should check their threshold of boredom for malfunction.

  3. Their admiring looks were enough to get me started on my long, tedious education on the uneasy power of male-female dynamics.

    Which was enough to get her started on her long, tedious tale of Gender Studies gibberish. Unfortunately.

    I read that sort of shit, then look at my wife of 30+ years and think to myself, “God, Dennis, you lucky dog, you hit the jackpot with that one”.

  4. Neurotic, feminist, self-identifying poetess reinterprets her teenage and later years to suggest that the ‘male gaze’ is always ‘problematic’ and that her daddy was a pervert for buying Playboy.

    Next nutjob, please.

  5. I have no idea about these women who think that they can somehow rewrite male desires, or from what I understand, even things like careers.

    Physical appearance matters, male and female. Male less so. You might not have great genes, but keeping in better shape helps. And it doesn’t mean you can’t be good at maths (e.g. Rachel Riley)

  6. What is interesting about the piece – perhaps the only interesting thing about the piece – is how closely it follows the template established by Jessica Valenti in Sex Object.

    Basically the template is as follows: (1) Young woman finds herself dissatisfied with her life. (2) Young woman presents her life to date in a manner which downplays the extent her attitudes and personal choices shaped said dissatisfaction. (3) Blames everything on either persons who are not in a position to defend themselves or on unseen societal forces.

  7. Dennis the Peasant,

    It’s probably the case that someone at Salon has the analytics scores and that this sells as well as (to quote our host) house prices in Daily Mail stories, or Manic Pixie Dream Girls for men.

  8. The author of this is over-writing. She is trying out for a novel, not journalism.

    However I am not, surprising perhaps, entirely unsympathetic. Sexuality is awkward for young people. We used to have religion that helped children transition into adulthood. That is, it provided very clear rules that encouraged them not to do it in a way that was socially respected. For confused teenagers this was probably helpful on the whole.

    Now we live in a world where children go from no interest in sex to porn everywhere the second they look for it. To boys asking for anal sex on the first date. It is a tougher transition to make these days. And we no longer respect the good girl who doesn’t want to make Jesus cry.

    To some extent feminism makes up for that. Just as girls and some boys used to respond to their hormones by becoming more religious, now some become feminists. Not a net plus I think. We were better off with the Methodists. But here we are.

    The problem is she cannot put a name on her problem despite being taught to write in such an over-the-top way.

  9. Dennis,

    How comes no men write like this? The same pattern works: (1) My life sucks, (2) here’s what I did, yet miraculously (3) it’s somebody else’s fault.

    Such articles would be very popular. Just as with Murphy’s writings on corporate taxation, there’s huge demand for stories about how all your problems are caused by other people.

  10. Andrew M – “How comes no men write like this? The same pattern works: (1) My life sucks, (2) here’s what I did, yet miraculously (3) it’s somebody else’s fault.”

    Men don’t write that way because no one pays them to whine. But they certainly talk that way. Go down to the pub. Some people from my school certainly will sit around, after a few beers, and complain about how their lives turned out. Not their fault apparently. If only someone had told them that computer games and weed were not a good way to spend your twenties.

    The cliche “My wife does not understand me” is just an older variation on the same theme. But as I say, no one cares when men do it. Men are not treated like children.

  11. Andrew M – “How comes no men write like this? The same pattern works: (1) My life sucks, (2) here’s what I did, yet miraculously (3) it’s somebody else’s fault.”

    Such articles would be very popular.

    Isn’t this the very essence of upper middle class Marxism.

    Upper middle class twit doesn’t like their life. They have plenty of money and access to everything they need, so it can’t be that. It must be society’s fault for having a system where I don’t like my life. Hence Capitalism is soul destroying and evil.

  12. How come no men write like this? The same pattern works: (1) My life sucks, (2) here’s what I did, yet miraculously (3) it’s somebody else’s fault.

    I suspect it’s because your average non-beta male lacks the empathy and self-control to keep from laughing in the face of the sort of male putz who’d go down that road. I know I wouldn’t hold back.

    The phrase “Stop acting like a pussy” means something completely different to men and women.

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