So, what happens to Pippa when the groom scarpers?

Pippa Middleton is due to tie the knot to a wealthy financier today in what is expected to be the society event of the year.

The Duchess of Cambridge’s younger sister will marry Chelsea-based multi-millionaire James Matthews at a small, private affair with reportedly just 150 people invited.

29 comments on “So, what happens to Pippa when the groom scarpers?

  1. She’ll write another book, of course. Pippa’s Wedding Tips.

    “When choosing a man to marry, it is best to choose a billionaire, in order to support your lifestyle. Some girls marry men so poor that they have to have a “mortgage” (see glossary) to buy your dream home, but this is not recommended…”

  2. “Mr Matthews, who was educated at Uppingham, Rutland, eschewed university opting to pursue a career as a racing driver, competing up to Formula 3 level, before becoming a trader and starting his own hedgefund.”

    So he comes from money, hasn’t ever had to worry about any decision he’s ever made or actually earn a penny of his own. He’ll fit in perfectly.

    I wonder what Daddy Middleton really thinks though. It takes him a lifetime of hard work whilst his wife and daughters… I think I should stop.

  3. I just don’t get it. Why does a man in that guys position get married? What is it in for him? Having to pay a massive divorce settlement in a few years time? Having his kids taken away and turned against him by said ex-wife? Having to walk on eggshells if he’s trying to prevent the inevitable divorce? It can’t be sex in this day and age, a man of his means is hardly going to be short of attractive willing volunteers, so exactly what is the point???

  4. Caring nothing for “society” –in any sense of the word- I may be missing something here but why should this groom scarper more than any other in his circumstances?

  5. Jim, I would think as the probably future queen’s brother in law, it will open more than a few doors for him – in a variety of ways.

  6. ” as the probably future queen’s brother in law, it will open more than a few doors for him”

    And slam them closed when he gets divorced. Hardly think Kate’s going to want her sisters ex hanging around.

    And anyway, he’s marrying the sister of a commoner who is married to a prince. Its not like he’s marrying into some family thats been at the top of UK society for centuries. The Middleton family connections (William aside) are no more than any middle class family, all the cache rests entirely on Kate’s marriage. Its all very tangential.

  7. Actually, being associated with the royals confers more costs than benefits. His every deal will be scrutinised by the economically-illiterate press for anything that might conceivably be seen as scandalous; tax avoidance for example. The only useful connections the Windsors might bring are with the dodgy despotic royals of other countries they like to hang with – and a respectable businessman would generally prefer to give them a wide berth. Joining a decent London club would do more for him – and unless they are all remodelling their rules on the EU’s bizarre concepts of membership – there will be no “divorce” costs if he chooses to leave. Getting married has far more serious legal consequences than most major transactions in our life and yet hardly anyone takes legal advice. Most men would be advised by a prudent lawyer never to marry given that feminism has NOT yet arrived in the Family Division of the High Court, where women are still considered just as frail and dependent as in Victorian times.

  8. “This isn’t a confessional booth.”

    Well actually it is, its the internet, you can say what you actually think.

    And I still can’t get an answer as to why in this day and age a man in possession of a fortune (to paraphrase Jane Austen) is in need of a wife?

  9. The really posh tend to stay married at a much higher rate than hoi polloi. The question is, of course, whether spending £330,000 on a wedding is really posh or unbelievably crass.

  10. Jim>

    Those were words, not a policeman. I can’t stop you telling us all about your misogyny.

    As for why, it’s because people like to let everyone know that they’ve found their life partner and how happy it makes them. (Sometimes they’re wrong, of course.) Sounds like you’re just another of the repressed homosexuals around here, so maybe if you give that a try you could find someone who makes you happy too.

  11. Hmm, seems to be a tie between Noel and TIS.

    With Dave again winning the prize for top dork!

  12. “Sounds like you’re just another of the repressed homosexuals around here, so maybe if you give that a try you could find someone who makes you happy too.”

    Well you’re obviously an old stick in the mud as everyone knows marriage is not just for the cis hetero normos. My question applies equally to gay couples too. I happened to posit it in the manner I did because a) Pippa and her beau are a heterosexual couple and b) were I to desire marriage it would be to a woman not a man.

    But if you want it in the fully PC manner of the day, i’ll rephrase it – why should a single man in possession of a fortune be in need of a wife or husband (other LGBTXQZY permutations may apply)?

    You still haven’t provided any answer, other that gratuitous personal abuse.

  13. “You still haven’t provided any answer”

    You are actually so determined to insist on that that you’ve ignored my answer, and the others given here.

    Which makes what’s going on inside your head plain to us, even if not to you.

  14. Oh, and I’d note that I haven’t given you any personal abuse of any kind, least of all gratuitous.

  15. “I haven’t given you any personal abuse of any kind”

    So calling me a misogynist and a repressed homosexual isn’t personal abuse?

  16. I didn’t call you a misogynist. I called your rant misogynistic. And you being a repressed homosexual certainly isn’t a matter of abuse, it’s simply a pointer to how you can get rid of the anger that seems to define you at the moment. Not only would you be much happier, but the world would be a better place with one fewer person who hates themself in it.

  17. Jim,
    In answer to your question, and adopting a strictly Darwinian viewpoint, perhaps he considers Pippa to be good breeding stock. Given her age (33) I’d disagree.

    The bigger problem is that Pippa is a shameless social climber. Once she’s bored of James, will she drop him and try to keep climbing? Or has she reached as high as she can go and has decided to settle here? Time will tell.

  18. Incidentally, your attitude to the matter rather reinforces the conclusion. That you see being homosexual as a matter of insult/abuse is why you’re repressing your feelings and angry as a result.

  19. Andy M>

    “Pippa is a shameless social climber”

    That’s a good one, do you have any more like it? I mean, she’s sister to our next queen. If she’s a social climber, she’s scaled Everest in slippers.

  20. Lol. I’m being psychologically profiled by the man who sees anti-semitism in virtually everything he reads.

    Physician (or psychiatrist) heal thyself I think would be appropriate.

  21. Jim,

    Some men genuinely want to settle down and have children. Perhaps there’s a pre-nup in place?

    Andrew M,

    At 33 she may have calculated now is the best time to settle down and have sprogs. With sis producing grand kids maybe she’s come under family pressure to do the same.

    I really don’t know why I’ve just wasted 5 minutes thinking about that and tapping it out on my iPad.

  22. “Some men genuinely want to settle down and have children.”

    Fair enough. By still why marriage? You can have kids in a relationship outside marriage. And stand a far better chance of being able to have joint custody if the divorce courts aren’t involved, because you could use your wealth as leverage to get more access.

    Basically I can’t see why any man gets married. Has relationships, children etc the whole nine yards, I get that. Not for me, but I get it. By why get married to do it? Its like playing Russian roulette with 3 of the 6 chambers loaded.

  23. Jim,

    You don’t get to procreate with the likes of Pippa Middleton without marrying her.

    Dave,

    Both Pippa and Kate are shameless social climbers. This has been well documented by the tabloids over the years.

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