With the aid of Padloper of this parish

It’d be madness for the Government to hand out tampons

Given my lack of experience in this area, I did actually check this all with a female doctor who pointed out that it’s all a little more complicated than just tampons. Flows vary, some prefer pads, and so on. The very fact that there are so many different designs and types on the market is all the evidence we need that different women prefer different methods of dealing with menses.

Which, of course, is why it is such rampant idiocy for government to try to distribute the things themselves. We already have great big barns in every city and town in the country packed with all the variations of these products. They’re called shops. All women need is the coin of the realm to browse said barns and purchase the variant they desire. Thus we shouldn’t be handing out menstrual products (emergency supplies in a school cupboard being a different matter), we should be handing out money.

Yes, obviously, it’s my patriarchalist cis-hetero maleness which means that I’m deeply distrustful of the initial case that there’s a problem here. But imagine, difficult though it may be for both of us, that I’m wrong here. It’s still true that the solution is a cash handout to women to buy what they desire on the market, not anything so flabbergastingly stupid as a Government Tampon Distribution System.

The final version got edited a bit as they expect some shouting at me/us.

25 comments on “With the aid of Padloper of this parish

  1. It is another area where the Scotchers need to be reined in–as with terrace chanting and a Commissar-for-every-child.

    There is zero justification for a tampon hand-out.

    If tampons why not bog-roll? A much more urgent “necessity” surely.

  2. Ecksie: why not bog-roll?

    But that need is not universal either – cultural diversity and enrichment now means we also have non bog-roll users in our midst.

    ps – what does the title of this post mean?

  3. Your version:
    > It’s still true that the solution is a cash handout to women
    Edited version:
    > It’s still true that the solution is a handout to women

    Women were going to complain about a cash handout?

  4. Why on earth should we be handing out “coin of the realm” to women to buy tampons? Has the world really gone fucking mad?

  5. You make the mistake of thinking this is about solving a social problem in the optimal way.

    It is in fact posturing to gather free political advertising, using taxpayers’ money on a random scheme.

    The cost/benefit analysis stacks up very well, on that basis. For the SNP at least. Less so for Scotland.

  6. I was about as sceptical as I could be in (paid) public about the existence of the original problem. The point being that even if it does exist direct distribution is still an insane solution.

  7. I recall a pretty girl at uni complaining that she had the same grant as the boys but had to buy essentials like tampons.
    To which the boys’ reaction was : Buy your own drinks then.
    (This was 1971. Girls rarely bought a round. )

  8. Coming at this from an oblique angle, as a libertarian, shouldn’t you be backing this idea?
    The State intends to hand out free tampons & pads to allcomers. A zero price effectively undermines the private sector market in the products. The products rapidly disappear from the shops as reordering is curtailed.
    On day one of the roll out of government issue menstruation alleviation devices all hell breaks lose. Women who want pads find only tampons available. Women who want tampons find only pads. Shortages of both & design problems (batches that couldn’t be crammed in a bucket, other’s that’d be a loose fit in a mouse’s ear) ensure that many women find neither & have to resort to stuffing their knickers with kitchen roll. 5 million angry women march on Parliament, storm the gates, enter the House & drag trembling MPs from the green benches to be hanged from the lamp-posts along the Embankment. At the subsequent elections, half the country’s voters cast ballots for smaller government favouring parties.

  9. Should have added:
    The other half do as they’re told. As usual. Nobody, but nobody, messes with a women with PMT ( a medical condition usually suffered by men)

  10. @MB ‘I recall a pretty girl at uni complaining that she had the same grant as the boys but had to buy essentials like tampons.’

    I have to buy essentials like aftershave (and it is essential for me, if I shave and don’t use a spot of apres rasage I get a really bad rash). I spend more on that than my wife does on tampons. Can I get some cash?

  11. I have a vague recollection that it was a lack of tampons and pads which brought down the Soviet Union. Socialism simply failed to provide this vital necessity.

  12. @bloke in spain
    “At the subsequent elections, half the country’s voters cast ballots for smaller government favouring parties.”

    Now that’s where you’re wrong. Almost all of the country’s voters will cast ballots for parties that promise better government-run tampon distribution networks, preferring to blame the party rather than the size of government and therefore completely missing the point

  13. “Now that’s where you’re wrong. Almost all of the country’s voters will cast ballots for parties that promise better government-run tampon distribution networks, preferring to blame the party rather than the size of government and therefore completely missing the point”

    Precisely. The history of State run enterprises teaches us that the reaction of the politicians (and the electorate) to their failures is not to demand their abolition, but to demand more taxpayers money be thrown into them in order to ‘improve’ the service.

    I’m coming to the conclusion that the only way for the State to be pruned is to actually encourage it to do more and more, such that eventually it is overwhelmed, because it will only be by the total and utter failure of the State that it will ever be considered the problem. While the free market continues to supply people’s wants and needs in vast amounts at increasingly cheap prices, the State can and will escape censure for its failures.

  14. @Jim

    ‘I’m coming to the conclusion that the only way for the State to be pruned is to actually encourage it to do more and more, such that eventually it is overwhelmed, because it will only be by the total and utter failure of the State that it will ever be considered the problem.’

    Nice idea Jim but the problem with that is that that’s what they tried in the USSR, and they had seventy years of labour camps, murder and privation first (and when they finally got rid they had no idea what to do next). I think it would take a long time to work through, and I haven’t got seventy years. Forty, maybe, and I’m fucked if I’m going to spend them in a state of adult infancy.

  15. All these sassy, confident, powerful women who need the national government to provide the most basic and easily obtainable goods for them.

  16. Here in ‘Merica we’re fully aware that Eurowogs have a habit of falling in love with really stupid ideas, but in all truth, is this something that is actually being considered? Seriously?

  17. “but the problem with that is that that’s what they tried in the USSR, and they had seventy years of labour camps, murder and privation first”

    Thats the point, it won’t take 70 years nowadays, or even 7. Modern economies are so intertwined now that it will be impossible for one to go full on socialist without utter collapse in short order.

    70 years ago it was possible for a Western country to pull up the drawbridge and have ‘socialism in one country’ because by and large they produced their own consumption needs, in terms of energy, food, raw materials etc. There were coal mines, steel works, fishing fleets, manufacturing plants, you name it, it was made here. A socialist government had ‘commanding heights’ to control. They don’t exist any more. The UK couldn’t feed itself, or supply enough energy, let alone manufacture the consumer needs of 70m people used to iPhones and the like. There’s too much stuff and knowledge that has to come from abroad, and we ain’t getting that if we’ve just nationalised everything and confiscated the assets and wealth of all the foreigners. And it would be vastly expensive with a currency thats gone through the floor. We wouldn’t be able to afford the imports, even if people would take our pounds in exchange for them.

    The modern western state lives on a knife edge these days – it avoided catastrophe in 2007/8 by a whisker, but has done nothing to make itself more stable. If anything it is more vulnerable than it was then. Attempting to shoehorn socialism into that equation will soon result in utter collapse.

    I can’t see any other way the leviathan can be turned around. Whether its Labour under the likes of Blair and Brown, or Tory under the likes of Cameron and May, its all going one way. There is hardly anyone calling for the engines to be slowed, let alone reversed. The current ship has to be sunk, the passengers hopefully will survive and reach land and build a new leaner ship and sail it in the opposite direction.

  18. “Try witch hazel instead. At £13.99 for a litre it should last you a while.”

    Yikes! The local Walgreens has it for $3.99/16oz (a little less than 1/2 a litre).

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