34 comments on “Absolutely terrible, a shocking level of inefficiency, 450 misses here

  1. And how exactly are we supposed to give a shit?

    Plus I am sure that the traditional method, a f*cking great bomb in the cellars would manage to do better than that.

    There’s a lot to be said for traditional methods.

  2. It does say 100 in 5 minutes. That’s just over 1/2 hour for the lot. Remarkable productivity. They’d have the rest of the day to deal with the Lords.

  3. It’s disconcerting how often jihadis’ aims coalesce with those of one or more non-jihadi groups.

  4. No doubt no expense will be spared protecting MPs from the consequences of their policies while SQRT(fuck all) will be done about the root cause and the rest of will have to take pot luck.

  5. Flippancy aside, I think the point is that is the Islamics get their act together rather than acting like a bunch of idiot schoolboys we’re in for some serious shit going down. We have an insurgent army embedded within our society, just waiting for someone to organise and arm them properly. We have a fifth column who will give them succour if not act themselves. The public is entirely unarmed and living in a densely populated manner. There’s 65m of us, less than half a million police and army, perhaps half of whom are armed, they can’t be everywhere. Things could get really nasty really quickly…….

  6. BiND, surely the square root of fuck_all is, in fact, fuck_all, therefore the mathematical operation is pointless. Incidentally, any root of fuck_all is fuck_all, but any number raised to the power of fuck_all is 1. Unfortunately, once cannot take the logarithm of fuck_all. The interesting property of fuck_all with respect to Parliament is that no matter how many times you multiply fuck_all, you end up with fuck_all, so a Parliament of 1, 10, 100 or 650 is likely to produce … wait for it – fuck_all.

    Amazing!

  7. Out of curiosity, how many days in the year are there >100 MPs in one room in parliament?

    The article seems to assume that they’ll all be nicely lined up in the chamber ready for the duck shoot, but aside from a few big debates, & critical votes, how often are they there?

  8. But come on guys, it’s part and parcel of being in a big city, so just get on with it.

    Please, pay attention to the Mayor’s instructions.

  9. Oh, sorry, I forgot we’re talking about important people. Well, look on the bright side. Although it’s illegal for us to have a penknife with an inch long blade, it’s not illegal for you to be protected by trained killers armed with machine guns.

    And the best bit is, if your bodyguards do kill a Muslim, you can prosecute them after they’ve saved your lives.

  10. “They’d have the rest of the day to deal with the Lords.”

    Trouble with this is that the Lords have a habit of turning up for ten minutes, collecting their daily expenses money and leaving. You’d only take out the handful that are actually industrious.

  11. About 15 years ago there was a powder attach in the Commons chamber, which could have been anthrax. The Parliamentary Security evacuated the chamber and dispersed the members around the building, some of them leaving, all of them brushing the dust off their clothing. If it had been anthrax that would have been the perfect way of spreading it all over central London – infected MPs wandering around infecting the populace.

  12. Apparently it’s the price we pay for an open and accessible democracy. On that basis am happy to go along with it, though would be fun if we got to choose.

  13. “They’d have the rest of the day to deal with the Lords.”

    Trouble with this is that the Lords have a habit of turning up for ten minutes, collecting their daily expenses money and leaving. You’d only take out the handful that are actually industrious.

    Ah! The troublemakers! Result!!!

    (Any chance of crowdfunding this? Should think you could raise a couple million in an hour or two, Guido puts an appeal on his site. Doesn’t HAVE to be jihadis, does it? Surely there’s contractors for this sort of work?)

  14. Dear terrorists,

    I bet you boy-lovers and dog-rapists can’t get a team of armed brothers inside the Palace of Westminster at St Margaret St, Westminster, London, Greater London, England, SW1A 0AA, GPS coordinates 51.4995° N, 0.1248° W, right next to the big clock!

    And I bet you can’t get John Bercow.

    Yours in Christ,

    Britain x

  15. Excavator Man – OK, I’ll bite. If 0 < fuck_all fuck_all. So BiND probably wants the square of fuck_all, not the sqrt, to be on the safe side.

  16. I’d rather have the unacceptable face of free market capitalism than any face of authoritarianism.

  17. But, but, the adherents of the Religion of Peace would never do such a dastardly deed.

    You’re all racists.

  18. 1-Jim–our “foes within” aren’t that hard to identify. Bring it on sooner–before their numbers swell–rather than latter.

    2-The Stupid BluLabour Bitch.

    Can the dozy vile Fish-Faced Hag not keep her cultural Marxist gob shut for 5 minutes? Comes close to handing Corbog and McNasty the country to Venezuela-ise and still is shooting her middle class Marxist gob off trying to suck up to leftists who despise and will never vote for her. I am no leftist and I despise the cow. When is she to be got rid of? Are the wanking losers in the BluLabour Cabinet incapable of telling her that they will break her nose for her the next time she opens her stupid gob? Because that is what she did for the Tory party on 8th June last. Got their noses broken for them.

    It seems she is entering her fat arse for the “Worst and stupidest Prime Minister ever” sweepstakes.

  19. A “terror simulation” shows “a hundred” killed in “five minutes”.

    Meanwhile in the real world terrorists, invited here by generations of MPs, avoid the really well guarded targets (MPs) and instead murder real people, targeting children, but not quite a hundred in five minutes, not yet. MPs unite against ‘Islamophobia’, and fret about simulations.

  20. Wonder what would’ve been the reaction if a senior cabinet minister’s daughter had been murdered at the Ariana Grande concert …

  21. @Mr Ecks, August 28, 2017 at 5:07 pm

    It seems she [Fish-Faced Hag] is entering her fat arse for the “Worst and stupidest Prime Minister ever” sweepstakes.

    She does appear to by trying. However, she’s still behind:
    1. Blair
    2. Brown
    3. Cameron
    4. Wilson
    4. Heath
    6. Major
    7. Chamberlain
    8. Atlee

  22. Wonder what would’ve been the reaction if a senior cabinet minister’s daughter had been murdered at the Ariana Grande concert …

    Kicked out of the party for racist thoughts, no doubt.

    Or is that only if Labour is in power? (c.f. Sarah Champion)

    If Yes, Minister is anywhere near accurate, you’d need a power-wielding senior civil servant to feel the pain; not a mere elected representative.

  23. Apropos the mathematical discussion here, surely if fuck_all is a very small value approximating to zero then doing sqrt(fuck_all) is more than fuck_all but still a very small value and therefore insignificant. The original point still holds.

    On the other topic I instantly thought of http://sexymp.co.uk/ when it came to the 100 survivors and then I saw that for women the first conservative is at #91 (Priti P if you don’t go looking) which is below some Labour and SNP MPs who would be rather challenging to err… do the deed with.

    The left wing are tribal in everything it appears. Diane Abbott is #127 and miles above some far more attractive, if pics are anything to go by, Conservative women.

  24. Pcar,

    Amazed that you left Callaghan and McDonald off that list, surely Major was better than them. But you could also add the incompetent Balfour, the authoritarian Perceval and, of course, Lord North who lost us our American colonies.

  25. — “I remember thinking ‘Jesus Christ, if that’s where we are at and that can happen, then the public would be horrified’.”

    I’d have a large brandy. For the shock, obviously.

    And a big cigar.

    Maybe a wank.

  26. @DocBud, August 29, 2017 at 2:03 am

    I did consider Callaghan, but don’t remember what he did/didn’t do that was better/worse than Wilson.

    McDonald, Balfour, Perceval and Lord North – appears I don’t know enough about them. Thanks for “find out” tip.

    Major: his socialist policies led to the Blair creature becoming PM – Conservative voters were sickened and didn’t vote.

    PS: I didn’t renew Conservative membership post 1992. Re-joined when Howard leader; not renewed since he stood down. I was an active member: meetings, leaflets, fundraising, canvassing…

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