Surprise!

Men and women sit differently:

“Cross your legs.” “Don’t sit like that.” “Be more ladylike.” Like most women, I’ve been subjected to these kinds of messages since I was a child. Everyone from my mum to primary school teachers and distant relatives has chastised me to “sit like a lady”. Translation: rest your legs together, Duchess of Cambridge style, and take up as little space as possible.

After spending my childhood and teen years being told to ‘sit properly, for God’s sake’, I decided to rebel
I have always struggled to do as they said. Not only is it quite uncomfortable to sit with legs crossed oh-so-daintily, but no man or boy I know has ever been told to do the same. Their typical seated stance – legs as wide as they go with no thought to the poor people being slowly crushed on either side – is so ubiquitous that we now know it as manspreading.

Alarum!

Still, I guess this shows we’ve solved those poverty, violence, war, pestilence things, no?

29 comments on “Surprise!

  1. Firstly there is no such thing as “manspreading”.

    I have never seen a man –on a crowded train or anywhere else crowded–sit in such a manner as to press his legs into the people either side of him. Be they whinging women or not.

    There maybe a few yobs who do so as part of their general yobbery. The idea that such events are widespread is Marxist feminist bullshit.

    But the scummy sisters whine when a man spreads out under non-crowded conditions also. So they can piss up their marxian legs and play with the steam.

    BTW Tim –have you been messing about with the site’s software? It keeps collapsing Internet Explorer— 2 or 3 times– before it stabilises. Which other websites don’t.

  2. Mr Ecks: Yup. The closest thing to actual ‘manspreading’ would be ‘fatspreading’. But apparently it’s a crime to call a fat lazy fuck a fat lazy fuck now. If only the fucking white males who built civilization were afforded such worship.

  3. “..take up as little space as possible.”

    I must have imagined all those times having to stand on a bus or train because some woman has taken up two, or even three, seats with her assorted baggage.

  4. Read ClareLondon’s contributions for how stupid this debate is. Apparently men spread to exert power over women, but women only ever put their bags on seats when the train/bus is empty and move them as soon as it fills up.

    Yeah, bollocks do they. If I had a pound for every time I had to ask a woman to move her bag, I’d have £3,712.

  5. I must have imagined all those times having to stand on a bus or train because some woman has taken up two, or even three, seats with her assorted baggage.

    Yep, far more common. “Birdspreading”? I ask if the bags are theirs in s subtle hint that I want to sit down. If they don’t move them and they are soft enough sit on them, they make a nice cushion.

    Anyway, this article is among the most pathetic and childish things I have ever read. Incredible that it appears in a self-described ‘serious’ newspaper.

  6. Complains that wimminz are encouraged to sit with their legs together. Would also complain that men and boys would try to cop a look if women sat in skirts with their legs akimbo.

  7. Also, no woman can ever fundamentally and deeply understand that sitting on your crown jewels really is a thing, and is not to be scoffed at.

  8. but no man or boy I know has ever been told to do the same.

    I was. Mind you, I was playing Eliza Dolittle in the school play at the time. (All boys school, and yes, I was scarred for life. Is there someone I can sue?)

  9. The biggest mannersplainers have traditionally been our womenfolk. Radhika’s carrying it on marvelously here. Helping us to distinguish between mannered and unmannered sitting behaviour. Particularly encouraging to see that her strict upbringing of resenting being told how to sit did not dissuade her from entering into the fray herself when she came of age. Some people nowadays have become resistant to the traditional roles and I hope the modern tendency to tell busybodies to fuck off doesn’t discourage Radhika from her calling.

  10. Oh.. and of course “Women like myself are breaking free of society’s strict restraints on our bodies.”

    Not your society’s, honey. I hope she goes home and does a few late night bus journeys and sees if manspreading is really an important concern.

  11. “Women like myself are breaking free of society’s strict restraints on our bodies.”

    They geneuinely see themselves as heroes. I bet she wakes up in the morning, and in her mind’s eye is a picture of herself, Soviet/Nazi propaganda style, striding into her bathroom with an endless vista of wheat and blue sky ahead of her, giant toothbrush in hand, and she can actually hear Ride of the fucking Valkyries.

  12. Woman refuses to act in a ladylike manner, dismisses the very concept. Five minutes later she’ll complain all the men around her are oafs who don’t treat her in a ladylike manner.

  13. “Women like myself are breaking free of society’s strict restraints on our bodies.”

    Is this the feminist version of ‘bubbly’ in a dating profile?

  14. “Women like myself are breaking free of society’s strict restraints on our bodies.”

    Sounds like a bid for a remake of Citizen Smith.

  15. “Women like myself are breaking free of society’s strict restraints on our bodies.”

    Her mother, grandmother, various aunts and sundry others brought her up to not be a cunt, and her resentment has been unleashed on horrid men because…well, no reason really.

  16. Phase 1) Be as obnoxious and unlovable as possible

    Phase 2) ???

    Phase 3) Profit!

  17. “no man or boy I know has ever been told to do the same”

    Yet we have a gender specific word for a man not doing the same.

  18. Problem for the feminazi’s is that it’s not men who are restraining women but other women. The pressure they complain that’s heaped on women with regards to attractiveness and weight is not from men but other women.

    It’s a competition (to get a man) and the other women are the one’s you have to out-do. Therefore you slap on trowel fulls of make-up and lose weight so your ‘sister’ looks crap next to you.

  19. “I have always struggled to do as they said. Not only is it quite uncomfortable to sit with legs crossed oh-so-daintily, but no man or boy I know has ever been told to do the same.”

    Unless you wear a kilt…..

  20. Unless she has a spectacularly badly packed kebab she won’t know about the room men physically need, and will exaggerate the room we actually do take.
    An unfulfilled yearning for a Buster Gonad over?

  21. When I am sitting on the bus I endeavour to stay within the confines of the seat in which I am sitting for reasons of a) courtesy and b) comfort. But how my heart sinks when the adjacent seat is vacant and some sweaty hamplanet hoves into view like Leviathan rising from the deep. “Don’t sit here,” I silently plead. But all too often they do (cf. the anxious wait after being the first to arrive in one’s row on a plane).

  22. ‘but no man or boy I know has ever been told to do the same’

    No man or boy has ever been told to wear panties, either.

    Just sayin’.

  23. @Mr Ecks, November 24, 2017 at 9:18 am

    Firstly there is no such thing as “manspreading”.

    I have never seen a man –on a crowded train or anywhere else crowded–sit in such a manner as to press his legs into the people either side of him. Be they whinging women or not.

    There maybe a few yobs who do so as part of their general yobbery. The idea that such events are widespread is Marxist feminist bullshit.

    +1

  24. After years of being told to “give us a smile”, be “seen not heard” and “not speak unless you have something nice to say”, we’re using #womanspreading.

    If timid, put-upon women are the silent, suffering majority, I seem to have done a pretty fine job of avoiding them all my life.

    It’s true that my wife didn’t buy me a drink in a bar until we’d been married over 20 years, and I’m sure the Guardian could get a nice Patriarchy article out of that.

    They’d be fucking wrong though.

  25. I gotta say I now sympathize with these complaints since moving to NYC. I think it’s not a feminist thing since it affects men equally, it’s just that the offenders are usually men. Seeing an empty seat between two men whose knees are practically touching is surprisingly common. I’ve had to spread back against these assholes occasionally. I don’t understand how it’s dufficult to sit the way the body is built to; perhaps they are all secretly yoga masters who cannot help but sit like frogs anymore. I don’t like the term, but fuck the people who sit like that.

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