I think we discussed this ourselves, didn’t we?

Feminists have come up with an excellent answer to “manspreading” — a chap sitting with his legs apart on public transport, taking up too much room: they intend to “womanspread”. This will involve them also sitting with their legs wide apart and slouching in a deliciously sluttish manner. I don’t know if they can also be persuaded to sit with their ankles behind their ears — anything to leaven the daily commute.

This was all outlined in The Guardian by an angry little squirrel who was sick of being told by the fascist patriarchy to sit in a dignified manner and now disported herself in the above manner.

Are we sure that would leaven?

33 comments on “I think we discussed this ourselves, didn’t we?

  1. If they really did play at being angry little squirrels it could make the commute extremely interesting.

  2. Since much of men’s clothing is badly (or not at all) tailored, or has been outgrown, the need for man-spreading is a matter of an absence of pain. Imagine a woman having to press her breasts constantly against an unforgiving surface.

    How soon until fems demand that all men HAVE to sit while using the loo?

  3. Women already ‘womanspread’. Blokes don’t get on the bus and use the other seat to hold their handbags.

    Blokes also don’t dawdle two and three abreast down the pavement, forcing everyone else to slow down. Blokes hold their umbrellas properly, upright, not over their shoulders, risking poking others’ eyes out with the ribs. Blokes are able to choose one side of the pavement and stick to it. And to walk in a straight, predictable line.

  4. @Alan Douglas,

    Most men told to sit to piss usually piss over the seat and floor, just to annoy. Women’s toilets usually overflow because they are blocked with an excess of toilet paper and sanitary pads, and have used bloody tampons swimming in the pool of piss and flush, because most of them aren’t smart enough to know that blockages don’t clear themselves …

  5. original article:

    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/nov/23/manspreading-womanspreading-fightback-metoo-resistance-physical

    Cross your legs.” “Don’t sit like that.” “Be more ladylike.” Like most women, I’ve been subjected to these kinds of messages since I was a child. Everyone from my mum to primary school teachers and distant relatives has chastised me to “sit like a lady”. Translation: rest your legs together, Duchess of Cambridge-style, and take up as little space as possible.

    At what point do these women wake up one morning and realise that things worked out pretty well for the Duchess of Cambridge, getting herself a rich man, and never wanting for anything again, and that their dream of a Sex and the City lifestyle as a journalist in London isn’t going to happen?

  6. Who thinks this stuff up?

    Surely there’s a mental illness involved here? Sitting at your desk all day, thinking up things to be offended about. Plumbing the depths of trivia to come up with something to be angry about.

    Grump old men was meant to be a dig at people like me, not a template for young women writers in the Graun.

  7. I think the important thing is to know what sort of Thought Crime we commit if we, you know, enjoy them doing so. I mean obviously it is objectification and hence sexual harassment. But is it eye rape as well?

    Although you know what would really punish the patriarchy for its sexism? Gigi Hadid on top making wild sex to me all night long. Just saying.

  8. “Are we sure that would leaven?”

    Well, if I remember baking correctly, leavening is about making things rise…

  9. Whatever turns you on, SMFS, but I find camel toe rather off-putting.

    BoM4:
    The social convention that women keep their legs together is not about taking up less space, but about not inviting stares and advances from certain males (including dogs) and not offending other people.

    Witchie, your familiarity with women’s toilets is rather, er, disconcerting.

  10. This is just standard body language – a male sexual dominance display.

    I’d link to the details, but every time I do the comment vanishes without trace. I’m guessing it’s getting spam filtered or something.

    These signals are less of a sexual invitation than they are signal of their dominance over others in the room, which in and of itself makes them appear more attractive to women.

  11. “These signals are less of a sexual invitation than they are signal of their dominance over others in the room”

    Given that I naturally sit with my legs open when I’m the only person in the room, I think it’s more to do with comfort.

    In fact I know it is, because when I crush my legs together on crowded trains, which I always do because I’m reasonably polite, I find it uncomfortable.

    I’ve also never seen anyone point out that men’s hips are generally proportionately narrower than women’s. This suggests that any man with any flesh on his thighs is likely to have to splay his legs so that his knees are wider than his hips to be comfortable, while a woman with proportionately similar thighs but wider hips might not,

  12. At what point do these women wake up one morning and realise that things worked out pretty well for the Duchess of Cambridge, getting herself a rich man, and never wanting for anything again, and that their dream of a Sex and the City lifestyle as a journalist in London isn’t going to happen?

    My guess is sometime between “never” and “when Diane Abbott wins Brain of Britain”.

    Feminism is about unhappy womem inculcating misery in other women, because misery loves company, and because trying to drag down other women is what women do best.

    Ever noticed that bitter, ageing Mum-haired divorcees are often absolute social poison to their married friends? It’s not enough for them to have failed at matrimony, their “friends” must fail too.

    Feminism works the same way. Once these girls squander their best years on worthless university courses, make-work paper-shuffling jobs they’re told is a “career” and running up a few thousand miles of loveless pump-n-dump on the cockdometer, they’re permanently broken.

    Sure, they might be able, in their 30’s, to bring themselves to settle for some simpering soyfaced subordinate – like Jessica Valenti’s male wife, or Big Lindy West’s obviously gay beau – but that won’t stop the festering resentment, it’ll just make it worse. Because these are the sorts of bargain bin inferior men they would’ve rejected without a second thought 10 years and/or 6 stone ago.

  13. If the writer of the original piece is so keen to ape men by spreading her legs and farting loudly she could also do that thing that footballers do where they press against one nostril to close it whilst blowing out the other one.

  14. “Given that I naturally sit with my legs open when I’m the only person in the room, I think it’s more to do with comfort. In fact I know it is, because when I crush my legs together on crowded trains, which I always do because I’m reasonably polite, I find it uncomfortable.”

    It’s to do with your mental state, not your intentions. Smiles and laughs are social signals, but you’ll still do them in an empty room. There’s nothing intentional about it. The subconscious instinct just makes such poses feel more natural/comfortable when you’re feeling relaxed or confident.

    I remember reading about body language years ago, and if you’re watching out for it and know what to look for, you can see it everywhere. This particular pose is well known, and very characteristic of males. I read somewhere that other great apes also interpret it as a dominance display, although I’ve no idea if that’s true or not.

    But if you seriously can’t ever get your legs together without discomfort, and you’re not an extreme athlete or something with abnormal thigh development, then you probably ought to go see a doctor. That’s not normal.

  15. @Philip Scott Thomas, November 26, 2017 at 11:18 am

    Women already ‘womanspread’. Blokes don’t get on the bus and use the other seat to hold their handbags.

    Blokes also don’t dawdle two and three abreast down the pavement, forcing everyone else to slow down. Blokes hold their umbrellas properly, upright, not over their shoulders, risking poking others’ eyes out with the ribs. Blokes are able to choose one side of the pavement and stick to it. And to walk in a straight, predictable line.

    +1

    In supermarkets Blokes don’t stand chatting in aisle with trolleys blocking everyone else; Blokes also don’t look startled when asked to pay and start rummaging in a bag for card.

  16. As a man, I’m offended by women moaning. All the bloody time.

    As an occasional London public transport user, I query how many of these oafs are chaps like me: white, apologetic, mild-mannered.

  17. This was all outlined in The Guardian by an angry little squirrel who was sick of being told by the fascist patriarchy to sit in a dignified manner and now disported herself in the above manner.

    An angry little squirrel is a fitting description, but the “fascist patriarchy” bit isn’t – it was her mother and sundry relatives who lectured her so, all of them 24-carat non-white hence “non fascist patriarchs”. Didn’t make any difference though – it’s those fellas who are to blame.

  18. Blokes also don’t look startled when asked to pay and start rummaging in a bag for card.

    Lol. I have to say, the lack of forward-planning with women amazes me. At work we have barriers where you swipe a card to pass, I don’t know how many women I’ve seen blocking them while she rummages around for her card. All the blokes have got theirs out twenty feet beforehand. Also, ATM machines. Women will stop and think about how much they need to withdraw only once their card is in the machine.

  19. Re Niv:

    But if you seriously can’t ever get your legs together without discomfort, and you’re not an extreme athlete or something with abnormal thigh development, then you probably ought to go see a doctor. That’s not normal.

    I’m not an extreme athlete but can assure you that sitting legs apart is significantly more comfortable than together. Indeed, I am sitting here with my legs under my desk, and them spread out. It could be that this is a show of dominance over whoever might be under my desk but this isn’t all that likely.

    The only comfortable alternative to legs apart is to have them crossed, with one ankle suspended just beyond the knee (generally left ankle over right knee) – this also provides adequate space to not put pressure on the testes.

    On public transport I will happily sit with my legs apart until such a time that the train is busy – at this point I will normally stand to allow a member of the fairer sex to sit; or, if there are still spaces available but I have someone next to me, then I’ll put up with the discomfort of putting my legs together.

  20. Sometimes, spreading one’s legs is just spreading one’s legs. Observers of “body language”seem to make a lot of huge and unwarranted leaps of belief with regard to intention.

  21. “I’m not an extreme athlete but can assure you that sitting legs apart is significantly more comfortable than together. ”

    James, check out the video I posted above, it does make a serious point about how men sit.

  22. German blokes are just as likely to block your path on the basis that they are the centre of the universe, just as smartphone users of all the many genders expect you to navigate around them.

  23. James in NZ
    The only comfortable alternative to legs apart is to have them crossed, with one ankle suspended just beyond the knee

    When I did nursing training we were taught that sitting like that is the best way to get varicose veins.

  24. Blokes also don’t look startled when asked to pay and start rummaging in a bag for card.

    I know, right? It’s like it comes as a surprise that stuff has to be paid for.

    It’s the same in the bus queue. Blokes don’t wait ten or fifteen minutes for the bus then wait until they get to the driver to fish around in their bags for their passes.

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