Well, no, not really

They are a much loved late-night snack for revellers as they flock home at the end of a night.

But the future of the kebab is now hanging in the balance, after it emerged that the high street delicacy may be banned from Britain under European Union plans to combat heart disease.

A move by the European parliament to ban the phosphates necessary to keep seasoned kebab meat moist and flavoursome is said to pose a risk to kebabs.

They’re not necessary. They’re “necessary” only in the sense that meat cot off and being store until served needs to be kept moist. Somewhere that cuts off the, ermm, whatever the technical word for the stack of meat is, to order don’t need it. But this is wrong, wrong, wrong:

“Doner kebabs are a much loved staple in takeaways up and down the country and have been enjoyed since the 8th century BC.”

Complete bollocks. The doner kebab dates from around 1974 in Germany. There’s a certain little argument about precedence between two Turkish gastarbeiter but we do know that’s where it all started.

Bread and meat, salad on the side, sure, 8,000 BC. Sticking it all together into a sandwich, 1974-ish. And it’s the sticking it all together which is the doner. The real lesson of all of this being quite how long innovation can take…..

18 comments on “Well, no, not really

  1. We’re not far off the time of having a brain implant to electrocute us when we have non-PC thoughts (Pavlov’s dog).

    Think a tranny looks like a man in drag with an adam’s apple and hands that are too large in proportion and you are toast.

    We’ll be living for a long time in this state as, once we all east nutritious veggie food, we’ll never have to worry about heart attacks again.

    I look forward to having no liberties so that my ‘betters’ can dictate what is best for me.

  2. “the high street delicacy may be banned from Britain under European Union plans”

    Er, we’re leaving. Ignore it. When they fine us for this, or using too much landfill, or anything else, tell them to fuck off and take it out of the 50bn.

  3. My first (and last) kebab was from a van at Brentford market in 76/77 so that fits in with Tim’s story.

  4. I can still remember when a tranny was one of those newfangled battery operated radios that replaced the wireless.

  5. Gunker – “Good job you guys are leaving the benevolent EU.”

    What makes you think the c*nts in London are better than the c*nts in Brussels?

    Best kebab I had was in the Netherlands actually. Good bread. Hopefully not too many sexually abused girls in the meat mix.

  6. @ SMFS

    The twats in Westminster are equally as poor as those in Brussels. Their throats are closer to choke however.

    My decision criteria in the EU Referendum was this – I need to have just one set of cunts to hang from a lamp post with piano wire. I wasn’t really bothered which one’s – just there only had to be one set. No feckin way I wanted to continue with both, especially when the UK MPs just transcribed the EU ramblings into British law.

    Tie break was that London was closer than Brussels.

  7. I’d argue with your doner chronology. I can remember eating them in a Greek restaurant in Newington Green at the back end of the sixties. Slices of er…meat. Sliced off the spit. With the salad in a split pita.
    My food review comment’s on the other thread.

  8. I think the Greeks would like a say in this.

    Most conflict comes down to the origin of food – Greece vs. Turkey over Doner, Israel vs. rest of the ME over who invented falafel, Germany vs. England over which has the crappiest cuisine in the world, etc.

  9. First off as always: Piss on the EU. The cunts can ban what they like and it has NO effect on us.

    Now anyone dumb enough to eat mystery meat shite like Don(n)er kebab deserves what they get. However were phosphates deadly poison it is hardly beyond the wit even of non-western humanity to devise some means whereby a jet of steam could be directed on the meatstack for a few seconds every so often to keep the sadly abused flesh moist. Thus the Kebab would abide, God help us.

    If the proprietor told the would-be diners that the spray was a strong disinfectant that might even increase sales.

  10. (i) There was no bread in 8,000 BC.

    (ii) The chap said 8th century BC, so innovation goes at nearly four times the speed The Worstall calculates.

  11. Doner kebabs are a much loved staple in takeaways up and down the country

    Not by me or Mrs Pcar; disgusting things only fit for animal or RoP consumption.

    imho like so many things, they’re a fad.

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