Tell ’em to bugger off

UK negotiators have been warned that the EU draft withdrawal agreement will stipulate that Northern Ireland will, in effect, remain in the customs union and single market after Brexit to avoid a hard border.

The uncompromising legal language of the draft agreement is likely to provoke a major row, something all parties to the negotiations have been trying to avoid.

The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland is still, just, a sovereign nation.

In which case bugger off mateys.

The correct answer here is, as I’ve been saying, to lie.

“And sure enough, this is a border, can’t you see it? We’ve road signs and all saying it’s the border.”

And then carry on much as we do right now. Anything less than an artic going through is just local people doing local things*. Larger cargos get “randomly” checked. And we’re done.

*Adjust according to local intelligence.

13 comments on “Tell ’em to bugger off

  1. Telling them to “bugger off” is a quick and easy response and probably the right one too.

    The interesting thing is that such a measure would in effect mean that NI would be obliged to secede from the UK to some degree.

    Other EU member states with their own internal secessionist pressures might look askance at an EU policy that accepts if not actively promotes the fragmentation of a nation state.

  2. It’s not uncommon in the US to see trucks required to stop when they enter a different state. It is no big deal, if a PITA for the truckers.

  3. Excavator Man – “If they want a hard border, then let them have it – on the Irish Republic side.”

    They don’t want a hard border on the Republic side. They want a hard border running down the middle of the Irish sea.

    They will probably get it too as I expect May will fold.

  4. May won’t fold – she’s in hock to the electoral mathematics here. It’s just the Guardian’s daily ‘it will be all right really’ story for it’d readership, who are apparently desperate for news that we aren’t really leaving the EU. And this one was clearly briefed by the EU anyway.

  5. ‘UK negotiators have been warned that the EU draft withdrawal agreement’

    Agreement ?!?!

    Why would you need an agreement?

    “The problem is all inside your head”
    She said to me
    “The answer is easy if you
    Take it logically
    I’d like to help you in your struggle
    To be free
    There must be fifty ways
    To leave your lover”

  6. You do definitely want to avoid creating smuggling opportunities or the criminals paramilitaries will have a field day. The answer is UK unilaterally declares free movement of irish citizens and tariff free irish imports and on to item 2 a slash 4.

  7. Just more EU try on.

    The FFC would gladly swallow it but -as I said yesterday–she has already twice been obliged to back down from backing down to the ESpew.

    So it is just more EU “half a loaf” bullshit in the hope of ultimately increasing what concessions they might get.

    Assuming the pukes have left to them enough reason to want a settlement. Which I doubt.

  8. Telling them to “bugger off” is a quick and easy response and probably the right one too.

    The correct diplomatic response, is of course “Regarding the question of the EU Border between Northern Ireland and the Irish Republic becoming a ‘Hard Border’ I refer the honourable gentleman/lady* to the response given in Arkell vs Pressdram.

    * – Delete as applicable

  9. If we must continue this negotiating farce; I suggest we add Jordan Peterson and JRM as David Davis deputies and let them negotiate with Barnier/EU. Mr Davis seems to have had enough of banging his head against a brick wall.

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