I was wondering about this

It’s an asinine law, sure, but I have wondered whether we might not find more women than men convicted under it:

A university graduate is believed to be the first woman convicted under new domestic abuse laws after scalding her boyfriend with boiling water, stabbing him and keeping food from him.

Jordan Worth, 22, banned her partner from their bed, decided what clothes he could wear, isolated him from friends and family and even took over his Facebook account.

She was jailed for seven-and-a-half years after pleading guilty to the offence of controlling or coercive behaviour in an intimate relationship, introduced in 2015, as well as wounding with intent and causing grievous bodily harm with intent.

Anyone offering an over and under on the ratio convicted once the law is bedded in?

34 comments on “I was wondering about this

  1. As soon as it starts looking like more women than being convicted instructions will go out to plod and the CPS telling them what is important and setting targets cf rape convictions.

  2. Why on earth would a guy hang around long enough to suffer this extremely long charge sheet?

    Surely after the first one or two incidents you’d reassess the position of your girlfriend with respect to the hot/crazy line and leg it for the hills…

  3. @Various

    Take it from me that you don’t need to be retarded or ‘vulnerable’ to suffer from controlling or coercive behaviour in a partner.

    Why stay? Because after years of emotional abuse and psychological manipulation, it’s very hard to recognize this behaviour as such, rationalising it away, and apologising for upsetting them, trying to cling on to the important fragments of your life.

    These people are expert manipulators, and will find and remorselessly press any buttons necessary to maintain their control.

    It’s worse when there are third parties, children, or both involved, as they can be used – Essentially, “Look what you made me do to [xx]”.

    I used to agree 100% with the argument that e.g. an abused wife should “just leave” her violent husband. and “Why do they go back to them”? Now, I’m not so sure I know, but I do know that for the victim, it really isn’t anything like as clear cut, especially if, by moderating their own behaviour (complying; yes, I know it’s wrong, and nobody should have to…), the bullying and abuse stops.

    So I strongly disagree with the assertion that this law is asinine, but I am also keenly aware of the potential for misuse; for allegation to trump evidence.

  4. My take on it is that the Feminazis brought it in as part of the remit of widening the definition of domestic abuse to “he’s a man, isn’t he?” without thinking about it.

    If ‘controlling behaviour’ ‘scolding’ and ‘stern looks’ are domestic abuse then women are as likely as men to be doing it as to be victims.

    Maybe the feminazis were hoping that men would continue to see it as one element of a normal relationship and not go running to the police, leaving the field free for every slighted woman to get her man banged up for a few years pretty much requiring only that she felt like it.

  5. What Justin said.

    There are degrees of everything and some people put themselves into bad situations by their own idiocy, and don’t take themselves out.

    But abusers can take advantage of people with mental health issues, or can exceeding financial dominance, or can slowly and cynically pull people away from alternative support groups. Everyone here knows that the state is ducking useless at caring for people who actually need it.. well that includes people who want to get out of abusive relationships. Sometimes they choose to stay because it’s the least worst option.

    If you have ever provided support, financial or otherwise, to someone who desperately needed it then good on you. But imagine what you could have done if you were an abusive shitbag given that ‘opportunity’.

  6. Justin – “Take it from me that you don’t need to be retarded or ‘vulnerable’ to suffer from controlling or coercive behaviour in a partner.”

    It is a question of degrees. To a first order degree, all women do this. I would assume all the men here who are married or were married have suffered from this. Men get married. Then their wives vet their friends. They make it clear that some friends are acceptable and some are not. Some women are more obvious about it than others, but pretty much all of them do it.

    They are similarly clever with men’s hobbies. This usually takes the form of “we should do more things together”. Which does not mean coarse fishing on the banks of the Tay together. It means carrying her shopping while she tries on a new dress.

    Any man when he gets married will soon find he is dropping his friends, he is giving up the things he enjoys and he is often bored out of his mind. But we do it anyway.

  7. Crickey, reading smfs makes me realise how lucky I am to be an outlier. Just passed 34 years and never had any of those experiences.

  8. Yeah? How many times have you looked at your wife in the clothes she likes and said “you know, we should go shopping”? As opposed to the reverse.

    You have just been married for 34 years and so may not notice it any more. How many of your friends from before you were married are you still in touch with?

  9. Andrew C nails it.

    Men are perfectly capable of controlling behaviour towards their partners, but tend to favour their fists more than their emotions. Its women that will use the emotional control route more than men, and thus will disproportionately fall foul of laws designed to combat such behaviour.

    Of course once this becomes apparent, there will either be a change in the law to ensure more men are convicted, and less women, or the CPS will throw out more cases involving female defendants in order to even up the stats.

  10. I agree with Ken.

    ‘offence of controlling or coercive behaviour in an intimate relationship’

    Oh, and by the way, she scalded him and stabbed him.

    “Why was he arrested?”

    “He looked at her funny and murdered her.”

  11. SMFS–Women can get away with much more shit now because the price of dumping the bitch is much greater–thanks to marx-femmi activists and CM infiltration in general.

    Lawdogs are much more effective than sulking and withdrawing “favours”–which may be ho hum anyway.

  12. SMFS: You marry, and all of a sudden you move house, have all your clothes bought for you and can’t see your friends any more. It’s like being in a witness protection programme…

  13. Mr Ecks – “Women can get away with much more shit now because the price of dumping the bitch is much greater–thanks to marx-femmi activists and CM infiltration in general.”

    That is true. Except the cartoonish version of chivalry that makes all Western men White Knight is older and deeper than that. I would think it has been 100 year or more since a grown adult man in the English-speaking world could actually say he lives in his own home. As opposed to being a guest in his wife’s. Men boast about having a man cave but that just means they have been exiled from the house they paid for.

    My test is simple – can you hang a gun over the fire place? I would think that 99% of the time the answer to that is no. And it long pre-dates Marxism being popular.

    Nautical Nick – “It’s like being in a witness protection programme…”

    Well 50% of the time the Witness protection programme does not come to a sudden end. I hear it is less painful when it does too.

    It is a trade off most men make – and are happy to make. For some men they get a good girl and it is a trade off worth making. For most men? Probably not, but they seem happy enough so who am I to complain? We need men to man up and marry even though it is insanely against their own best interests.

    That doesn’t mean we should ignore the reality though.

  14. Studies suggest that married men work harder and are more successful, earning on average 10-24pct more. Those who stay married live almost ten years longer than unmarried men and retire with much greater wealth. Married men also enjoy better physical and mental health, and are twice as likely to rate themselves ‘very happy’ with life.

  15. @Justin, April 17, 2018 at 9:34 am

    Why stay? Because after years of emotional abuse and psychological manipulation, it’s very hard to recognize this behaviour as such, rationalising it away, and apologising for upsetting them, trying to cling on to the important fragments of your life.

    +1

    It’s scarcely easy to manipulate someone who loves/trusts you little by little and over time break them and make them believe their life depends on you.

    Military training employs this technique, but not to such extremes.

  16. @So Much For Subtlety, April 17, 2018 at 10:27 am

    Women are similarly clever with men’s hobbies. This usually takes the form of “we should do more things together”.

    Mate of mine’s wife frequently complained about his car hobby. I sold her positives: better than a train-spotter which would embarrass you; he’s at home with you, but in garage; saves money; not away for day’s fishing; not being injured/drunk rugby; gives you connection with parents in law etc

    She did change over time.

  17. Great post – it’s why we read you.

    I’m still going to go 90:10 M:F convictions though, because social workers/police/CPS have such a strong frame of female victim/male perpetrator. What women are doing in relationships just isn’t what we mean by coercive and controlling

    We’ll see.

  18. “Studies suggest that married men work harder and are more successful, earning on average 10-24pct more.”

    It could be that men who earn more are more (or who have the obvious ability to do so in the future, like being a trainee doctor or lawyer) are more likely to attract women who want to marry them………

  19. Bernie G. – “Studies suggest that married men work harder and are more successful, earning on average 10-24pct more. Those who stay married live almost ten years longer than unmarried men and retire with much greater wealth.”

    Anyone who has seen a domesticated turkey will notice how well fed they appear. A good farmer looks after the welfare of his animals. Although not for the animal’s well being.

    And of course they retire with more money. That’s the point. It is not their money. They do not live long enough. It is their wife’s money. She will. It may be in men’s own interests to put off doing all the things they love, so that their wives can spend all their money after they are dead, doing things she likes. But it is possible it is not.

    Especially as Black men do not live so long. They do not marry so often. And yes they are much less healthy. Because, of course, self inflicted health problems. They are too busy doing all the things they enjoy – like drinking and sleeping around. I am sure that a wild wolf does not live very long. Lap dogs certainly do.

  20. “Studies suggest that married men work harder and are more successful, earning on average 10-24pct more.”

    Behind every great man, there is a bitch nagging him on.

  21. SMFS
    Guilty (gobble gobble). I’m fond of telling Mrs G. she has to look after herself in order one of us lives long enough to spend our money. And yes, Gamecock, I would undoubtedly have made less of an effort if she hadn’t been on my shoulder. It’s 45 years this year, nose to the grindstone.

  22. Barbara Bush Obit:
    “The Bush dynasty has been one of the most successful in American politics, producing two presidents and a governor of Florida. None of them, however, was the capo di tutti capi of the operation. That honour belonged to Barbara Bush who, while outwardly a ladylike baker and writer of children’s books, was privately the iron-willed matriarch without whom her husband — and perhaps even her son — would likely not have made it to the White House. “

  23. Bernie G. said:
    “Studies suggest that married men work harder”

    Home is so bad that even the office seems better?

  24. @abacab:

    “Why on earth would a guy hang around long enough to suffer this extremely long charge sheet?”

    Stockholm Syndrome.

    I always have a quiet chuckle at a friend of mine who, whenever I go round to take him to the pub for a pint, has to ask his wife for money. He’s got a very well paid job and she works part-time.
    Is theirs an abusive relationship? I don’t think so, but I’m pretty sure that if the boot were on the other foot, people – including me – would think so.

  25. Scarily depressing thread guys. I’m worried all your comments are true. At least there’s a male answer to mumsnet.

    Scotland’s weakened their definition of domestic abuse further, with unanimous approval in the Scottish parliament.
    – making a partner dependent or subordinate
    – isolating a partner from friends, relatives or other sources of support
    – controlling, regulating or monitoring a partner’s day-to-day activities
    – depriving a partner of, or restricting, freedom of action
    – frightening, humiliating, degrading or punishing a partner.

    And victimless prosecutions.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-42890990

  26. – making a partner dependent or subordinate
    – isolating a partner from friends, relatives or other sources of support
    – controlling, regulating or monitoring a partner’s day-to-day activities
    – depriving a partner of, or restricting, freedom of action
    – frightening, humiliating, degrading or punishing a partner.

    But what then is marriage ?!?!

    It seems ‘partnering’ is a really bad idea.

  27. phil – “At least there’s a male answer to mumsnet.”

    I would love to put that on my CV.

    “Scotland’s weakened their definition of domestic abuse further, with unanimous approval in the Scottish parliament.”

    Which is appalling for so many reasons. For one, how are they going to prosecute? How do you measure such things? What is the evidence for restricting contact with friends? How can the law be so vague it does not make clear what is acceptable and what is not?

    However the main point is that since feminism has killed the traditional British gentlemen, plus the Vibrancy immigration has given us, men cannot be relied on to behave in a gentlemanly manner. Enforcing that by law is a very poor substitute.

  28. My marriage resembles SMFS’s vision in no ways at all.

    My friends are not vetted. There’s some she doesn’t like around, but that applies both ways.

    My hobbies have grown. She gives me shut over the stupidest one, but the all my friends do as well. She even indulges my main one.

    We make sure to spend substantial time apart to. Easier when the kids are older.

    Actually I’m struggling to think of any marriage like SMFS proposes among my friends. In one the wife does control him fairly strictly, but he likes that because he will do really stupid things otherwise. He relies on her to be an adult so he can stay a child.

  29. “Home is so bad that even the office seems better?”

    I see it in evening traffic all the time. Men in no hurry whatsoever to get home. Pokey tails won’t get outta my way.

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