The young people of today, eh?

Highly-addictive video games risk having a “damaging” impact on children’s lives, the Culture Secretary has warned after parents raised concerns about a hugely popular multi-player “survival shooter”.

Fortnite, a video game which pits 100 players against each other and is free to play on mobile phones and games consoles, has proved hugely popular with children and teenagers.

The game has been downloaded more than 40 million times since its launch in July 2017 and been endorsed by a raft of celebrities, including Premier League footballers and chart-topping US rappers.

What would a Culture Secretary have to do all day if it weren’t for the repeated insistences of apres moi la deluge?

26 comments on “The young people of today, eh?

  1. Yes, but the [games we played / drugs we took / follies we indulged in] back in our day weren’t as [addictive / strong / foolish] as the stuff kids can get today, and it wasn’t nearly as widely available.

    I look forward to the introduction of minimum pricing for free video games, restricted playing hours, age restrictions, and Jamie Oliver’s fat mug hectoring us to get off our backsides and go play outside.

  2. It is good to see that the government is doing such a slap up outstanding job of things like law enforcement and teaching children to read and write that they can afford to waste time on this.

    I am not saying she is wrong. For all I know this game could be turning children into Satanists possessed by the spirit of Roald Dahl. I just don’t give a f**k when they can’t even do the basic tasks of government properly. We give them too much money that they waste on too many other things that distract them from their core tasks.

  3. AndrewM nails it.

    Pong, Manic Miner, Doom or wherever in history your game playing has been, “adults” have always worried about game addiction.

    The worry today is that gummint is getting effective at getting in the way of life (see sugar tax, bag tax, farting tax, et al) so something might for the first time “be done”.

  4. “Jamie Oliver’s fat mug”

    I noticed that too when I saw a recent picture of him. Staying away from the cookies is clearly hard for him, hence the interest in banning them in the UK

  5. My kid brother grew up in the generation of games consoles and probably played Call of Duty several hours per day between the ages of 10 and 16. He then got bored of it, and did other stuff. It doesn’t seem to have done him any harm whatsoever. This is just the latest moral panic, following hot on the heels of rock n roll and Elvis’ dance moves.

  6. apres moi la deluge

    Le déluge. ‘E’ is so close to ‘A’ on the keyboard.

    Bloggers today, eh?

  7. haha! One of my sons come to see me the other day to show me Fortnite (actually looks pretty good).
    Anyway, I showed him Manic Miner (which he pretty much instantly dismissed as he couldn’t get out of the Central Cavern). I then “wasted” the next 2-hours reliving my “wasted” youth playing the game!

  8. WTF are you all talking about you whippersnappers?

    Far cry from small boys in the park, jumpers for goalposts. Rush goalie. Two at the back, three in the middle, four up front, one’s gone home for his tea. Beans on toast? Possibly, don’t quote me on that. Marvellous!

    And then when older, pinball and table football surely?

  9. Total Annihilation, addictive. Played for hours 15 years ago (when aged 52).
    Made me want to build an army of tanks and gunships, and annihilate my enemies!!

  10. Yeah, they said Rock & Roll was going to do it to us, and you see how we turned out.

  11. All the kids round my area (‘cept mine) play Fortnite 1000 hours a week, and I don’t think it does them much good. But government can fuck off with the interfering. In fact government can fuck off altogether. When you’ve caught all the crooks and banged them up in jail for 100 years each then come back and try again with your video game-banning pitch. (And then we’ll set you another task you should already be doing.)

  12. Come on, Hector, harassing kids is so much more fun than guaranteeing that the guy in line in front of you at the grocery checkout is supposed to be there. Which is government’s actual job.

    A government that talks about the plight of immigrants is no longer a government.

  13. I threw my grant money way on Battlezone (the arcade game) as there was one of the machines in the halls of residence where I stayed.

  14. Highly-addictive video games risk having a “damaging” impact on children’s lives, the Culture Secretary has warned

    Cock end whose entire department is a fucking waste of time and money lectures other people on how to spend their time.

  15. @MC

    +1

    Dept for CMS aka Ministry of [banning] Fun is one at top of list to abolish and sack every employee; DEFRA is same along with Equality Commission and PHE.

  16. I’ve an idea for a game. It’s called Sniper! You conceal yourself, wait…. then put a bullet through the head of the government minister of your choice.
    Oh & it’s played with real guns.

  17. Everquest, over 10,000 hours played. World of Warcraft over 6000 hours played. Some people do have addictive personalities but come on, games being what the addiction is on being a problem?
    There are plenty of adults to whom soaps are an addiction. Do you hear a government bod talking about them? no.
    There are plenty of adults for whom drugs are an addiction (alcohol as a drug). Do you hear a government bod talking about them much? No.

    Its the moral outrage that people are enjoying themselves, its moved on from whatever the previous outrage was to this outrage and next time will be another outrage.

  18. I played Diablo II a lot a few years ago, and then I didn’t. The last computer game I played was one of the Broken Sword adventures, because I found a port for mac os Sierra and it was fun the first time round in 1998 or so. They all look amazing these days, but I simply haven’t the time or energy to invest in becoming tolerably good at playing them.

  19. My son is a big time gamer. He just moved to Indianapolis with his job. He picked it because he knew the area from yearly pilgrimages to Gen Con. He left several Warhammer 40,000 armies in my den.

    Professionally, he is quite accomplished, so I don’t worry about his gaming. He can kick just about anybody’s heiny in just about every electronic game ever invented. I just wish there was a way he could turn that skill into a profession. Not that the profession he has isn’t good.

    One of our best moments was in 2007, when he and I took on 7 players in Battlefield Vietnam. We left them crying for their mommies. I put artillery on their spawning area, and he mopped up the loose players. They were dead and couldn’t respawn because I blew them up as soon as they did. It was GLORIOUS. I still laugh at their chatter.

    He has told me that after his fine mother and I divorced, the electronic games were his relief from being with her.

    There is therapeutic value in games. We watched TV; millennials play games.

  20. We watched TV; millennials play games.

    Totally agree with this! My kids barely know what TV is – other than the thing that sits in the corner that Mum and Dad watch. About once a week we may sit down to a film but otherwise they simply are not interested in it. They far prefer the social aspect of gaming; which, I personally think, is far healthier for them than sitting in front of the idiot box!

  21. Why oh why are they playing games when they could be hanging around on the streets stabbing each other?

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