They’ve not grasped it about planning, have they?

Pizzas must shrink or lose their toppings under Government plans to cap the calories in thousands of meals sold in restaurants and supermarkets.

Pies, ready meals and sandwiches will also be subject to the new proposed calorie limits, in a desperate bid to tackle Britain’s obesity crisis.

Under the draft proposals, a standard pizza for one should contain no more than 928 calories – far less than many sold by takeaways, restaurants and shops. And the recommendations suggest that a savoury pie should contain no more than 695 calories.

Why not 925 calories? And who is going to check and how?

66 comments on “They’ve not grasped it about planning, have they?

  1. They are guidelines and recommendations. So who will be the first chain to stand up and proclaim ‘All our pizzas are free of Public Health England fussbucketry’…?

    And watch the takings soar?

  2. The super-dickhead-markets will do it to themselves.

    This brainless hag May really is trying to take the piss isn’t she? What will be any supposed difference between her and the People’s Anti-semite?

    At least under Grandpa Death we can write to McNasty and point out what a waste of “the People’s Money” it will be to provide police/security protection to former Tory Grandees. And how it should be stopped. There is every chance he would agree.

  3. Why not just make it the law that all pizzas currently cut into 6 slices must now be cut into 4, so we’ll be eating fewer slices?

  4. Baron Jackfield
    “Presumably punters will be prohibited from buying two…?”

    Never forget these fuckers have no ability to understand people are dynamic and can adapt to their stupid rules.

  5. By the way, it’s “928 calories or fewer”, not “less”. In the CT post. But I am a pendant.

    Will the prices of the pizzas be cut accordingly?

  6. What I keep saying.

    This is Labour shit.

    Why are the Tories doing it? Lefties won’t like them anyway. Everyone else will grow weary of them.

  7. Why not just make it the law that all pizzas currently cut into 6 slices must now be cut into 4, so we’ll be eating fewer slices?

    Ridiculous, each of those massive slices will be filled with evil calories! I propose that pizzas be sliced into 12, thus ensuring we only have tiny low-calorie bites.

  8. “Why not 925 calories? And who is going to check and how?”

    The idea is to make us all potential criminals – they’ll only check up on those who offend them because ‘obviously we can’t check on everyone’. It’s a way of ensuring obedience.

  9. By the way, it’s “928 calories or fewer”, not “less”. In the CT post. But I am a pendant.

    I think “less” is correct in this instance, because calories are a scale, rather than an indivisible thing. But I’m also a pendant.

  10. So people now buy a pizza, a bag of grated cheese, some pepperoni slices and just top it up. Calories probably now higher than before.

  11. I think I’m becoming unhinged.

    I keep imagining traveling back in time with a bunch of newspapers from the last few weeks to the trenches of WWI and saying to the troops “You eventually win this one, lads, and the next one. But in the distant future this is what you’re own politicians will do to you.”

    It fill the heart with joy to imagine the millions rising up and saying “Fuck this for a game of soldiers”.

  12. Theresa, who hates the Tories?
    Da Yoof.
    Who eats pizzas?
    Da Yoof
    Who hates authority and being told what to do?
    Da Yoof

    Stupid bitch.

  13. Prodnose Pizza (serves 1)
    Ingredients

    Two 925 cal cheese pizzas
    One large bag of oven chips
    Sauces, to taste..

    Method

    Cook the pizzas and oven chips according to their instructions.

    When piping hot, sprinkle oven chips liberally over the first pizza. Add sauces to taste.

    Place the other pizza face-down on the oven chips to create a sandwich.

    Serve with beer and a small side-salad.

  14. What I don’t get is the restaurants part. How do people get obese eating at restaurants? How many times a week are people going to restaurants? You would have to eat there three/four times a week to put on sufficient weight to be obese.

    How the hell can people afford to eat at restaurants often enough to get obese? They can’t; restaurants are not the cause of obesity.

    Politicians exist in a bubble of lobbyists and the media, all of which have an interest in distorting reality to suit their goals. All a politician has to do is step out of the bubble for five minutes to realise how absurd this all is.

    Also, 25% of children obese. LOOK AROUND YOU. Where are they?

  15. Liberty: freedom from arbitrary or despotic government.

    928 calories. As Tim notes, it is purely arbitrary.

    ‘Britain’s obesity crisis.’

    A hobgoblin invented by government to get you to accept their tyranny.

    ‘Public Health England (PHE) said “drastic” measures were needed to combat Britain’s obesity crisis.’

    Drastic measures are needed to combat PHE.

    ECKS ?!?!

  16. I make all my own pizza. I do a rather nice beef and roast potato one. And my Chinese stir fry pizza is messy but tasty.

    The pies etc will have to change price and I’ll be honest, I’ll either use them just as a snack between meals or I’ll eat more of them.

  17. Talking of restaurants, can you imagine the reaction of your MP if you positioned yourself next to her table at the Savoy and announced that to save her from herself you were going to choose what, and in what quantity, she was going to have for lunch. No alcohol, of course.

    And strangely, no matter how many times you screamed at her “It’s for your own good!”, she’d still demand you were removed from the premises…

  18. I usually leave most of the crust, can I have some more calories, please?

    “Also, 25% of children obese. LOOK AROUND YOU. Where are they?”

    I pass 4 different schools in 3 different towns on my travels back and forwards to my various activities and my observation is that there are no more fatties than when I was at school 50 years ago.

    Some of the mums, on the other hand, would make a beached whale look anorexic.

  19. Monitoring compliance will indeed be difficult, and if a pie is right at 928 calories might it be pushed over the edge by sprinkling more cheese on it? And what if they also want a beer?

    Clearly the technology must exist or could be develop where everyone is compelled to wear a necklace that measures their BMI and if about government accepted standards would give them an electric shock should they enter a pizza parlor or ice cream shop.

  20. As P. J. once observed: For over a century and a half, every European with an IQ larger than his hat size boarded a boat for America as quickly as they possibly could. What you have in Europe now is what was left.

    This is our daily confirmation of that essential truth.

  21. You know, if I thought you had the balls and the brains, I’d say May is your George W. Bush… The Tory that bred your own Donald Trump. But I don’t think you do have the balls or the brains to breed a Donald Trump, so at best the Tories will end up offering you a wog version of Jeb Bush…

  22. They have grasped the concept of planning. It is to force the easily cowed to do what they are told.

    That some people are capable bypassing the rules is somewhere between an irrelevance and an opportunity to lock up one of the awkward squad.

  23. NEW YORK led the way. Jeeeeze.

    U.S. was indeed a leader in the “Make Nutritionists Relevant” movement.

  24. Didn’t the US lead the way on this sort of nonsense? When they banned large ‘sodas’ in New York?

    New York City’s ban was never implemented and didn’t survive the court challenge.

  25. Or just implement a fat tax. Require the NHS to regularly report a person’s BMI and their ideal BMI to the taxing authorities and assess a special tax for each point that it is too high. Ironically, that might encourage the government to then mandate higher calorie pizzas.

  26. Unless restaurants resort to using tins for everything I can’t see how it is going to work, or how it will be enforced.

    Of course, it will not be enforced in a fair and even-handed manner; the ‘restaurants’ favoured by the middle-classes and the elite will never see this law.

  27. Something must be done. This is something, so they’re doing it. I think most of the objections have been covered in this thread. Mere rationality won’t budge them. It’s going to take a good hard kicking in the ballot box to dislodge it, or perhaps even a real physical kicking.

  28. Perhaps a part time job in retirement for our very own stool-inspecting Ely resident? I could see him being very interested if the enforcers end up with powers to charge penalties.

  29. On this issue, all of the main parties share the same platform. It’s like Europe before Brexit – if you wanted to vote to leave the EU you had to vote fringe. Now all but the Liberal Democrats (who really are fringe) are pro-Brexit, at least in appearance.

    It is crazy to think that in order to be allowed to eat a pizza in peace you have to vote for a fringe political party. Completely nuts.

  30. “For over a century and a half, every European with an IQ larger than his hat size boarded a boat for America as quickly as they possibly could.”

    I’m pretty confident that that is bollocks. The mediocre left for the US. The clever and the dim remained behind. Plus, of course, the emigrants would contain a highish proportion of people fleeing their wives, their creditors, and the police.

    I doubt if that changed much until after WWII.

    Still it’s better than the preceding colonies received, with transported criminals and indentured servants being part of the population.

  31. Ah, and presumably they received more clever Jews that just Einstein in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. On the other hand throughout the history of the US and her predecessor colonies she/they must have received a hugely disproportionate number of religious nutcases. Which would explain a lot, such as the quasi-religious gibberings greeting the bint with the delusions (or lies) about the would-be SCOTUS Justice.

  32. Sadly, I have to agree with Tim Montgomerie on Twatter:

    I’ll never vote Corbyn (my father served in the British Army when his comrades were being murdered by Corbyn’s IRA comrades) but [Quentin Letts] is spot on about May

    Prime Minister’s Questions left me hoping the Conservatives lose the next election – lose it so badly their buttocks sting – and that Jeremy Corbyn, with whom I disagree on almost everything, becomes Prime Minister.

    Just after PMQs there was a military parade under Big Ben. Busby-wearing bandsmen marched proudly through Carriage Gates. There trod the best of Britain – represented, alas, by a Parliament of equivocating, compromising dullards.

    Our politics has become irreparably stale. To correct that we may need a further revolution, the first magnificent, yeoman revolution of Brexit having been all but neutralised by the Establishment blob.

    We have a paralysed, anti-popular, inert Government, Conservative only in name. It is fronted by an indecisive, gulping, dreary thing, prime minister only by title.

    She spreads misery like a bell-ringer in plague days.

    Bring out your dead.”

  33. Who’s going to check? I guess you’re safe in UK, but in the US, lawyers would pay fat people to get Pizza, pay labs to measure the calories & sue the hell out of Pizza stores & give the fat folks a bit of the takings.

  34. Where can i get a job monitoring these pizzas – is it well paid?I’m a bit overspent and have had a shit week, so i’m feeling a bit cunty. Where can i apply to enforce these regulations and does it come with a uniform ? A nice black uniform with silver trimmings sounds just the job.

  35. DtP…”As P. J. once observed: For over a century and a half, every European with an IQ larger than his hat size boarded a boat for America as quickly as they possibly could. What you have in Europe now is what was left.”
    I recall attending a management seminar in the USA some 30yrs ago, listening to the predominately American audience being told by the lecturer that Europeans who came to America during that period were overwhelmingly the dross with no particular skills, that the bright kids with talent, the skilled craftsmen – guild members et al, had stayed behind.

  36. Bernie G –

    And that’s why Microsoft, Apple, Oracle, Intel, Google, Amazon and Facebook are all British companies founded by British inventors and entrepreneurs.

  37. I some times buy ready meals, pizzas, etc. ‘Serves Two’ it says on the packet— more like a snack for one.
    Bought a pack of chocolate bars today 4 for £1: about four bites to consume the lot, which I did.

  38. There are companies with bomb calorimeters. Restaurants et al send them samples to test. Results are posted as needed. Might be a good time to invest in such companies.

    Few would hire them without government coercion. Voting Lefty is probably a condition of employment for them.

  39. Fucking hell, Big Dennis Two Guns is on one – did somebody shag his land whale? 🙂

    Mate, you’re forgetting we can read, and there’s this thing called the Internet. I like Yanks, worked alongside some pretty impressive ones in my time, but let’s be honest here. You can’t even stop tramps shitting in the streets of San Francisco in your home of the brave, or soy boys and obese women in black jeans closing off streets and kicking the fuck out of drivers who dare to disobey. And the idea that you’re not under attack from health ninnies is hilarious – not to mention, wait till the Obamacare you were impotent to stop gets going. Fact is, both we and you are being fucked over by the left and the government – we haven’t had a Waco here yet, tough guy – and you’d be better off getting off your extremely lardy arse and trying to sort out the USA’s own problems than chucking snark at us from a noticeably safe distance.

  40. At Bletchley Park there are short stories on plaques about the computer architects and engineers who headed the code-breaking work. In the years after the war they all went to the United States except for that mid-ranking bottom bandit Turing who became not so mid-ranking when everyone else had gone, but I think he would have struggled anywhere at the time.
    It was socialism that drove all that talent to leave the UK. Imv of course.

  41. Einstein went to the States, but he did nothing there of scientific note. People go where the money is. That doesn’t automatically mean the money is buying value.

    Lots of Kiwi rugby players go to the France and few French players shift to NZ. People go where the money is. Yet New Zealand rugby continues to produce more stars, and better teams than France. Because buying up older stars, past their prime isn’t how you become better at rugby. Dan Carter wasn’t better at Racing than he was at the Crusaders because they paid him more.

    Money draws people. That does not, of itself, mean that value is being created.

  42. Einstein went to the States, but he did nothing there of scientific note. People go where the money is.

    Actually, I’m pretty sure Einstein went to the States to escape the attention – and tender mercies – of all those really smart Europeans who didn’t move to the States because, well, they were smart, refined and civilized ones.

  43. Interested –

    Last bit of news I heard on SF and Portland was that there was going to be a mass migration of the citizenry to Rotherham. You know, for safety’s sake.

  44. Wasn’t it Claude Rains of whom Gielgud sniffed, “he failed, and went to America”?

    And who remembers John Gielgud these days?

    John Gielgud went to America and made Caligula, a film financed by an American pornographer and directed by an Italian pornographer. As with so many other Europeans, Gielgud would never do that which compromised his integrity, but he would do anything if an American waved a $100 bill in his face.

    Whereas you can see Rains in any one of two dozen (at least) cracking good films at any given moment.

    Gielgud had nothing to sniff about.

  45. @ Dennis
    Lots of people remember John Gielgud. Claude Rains is most remembered for Casablanca, a film produced before I was born.
    I bother with facts, which is why I am so unpopular

  46. You’re missing the point, Dennis. Johnny was saying it’s easier to succeed in the US. Bad for us. But by the same token he was saying you get the worst of us, for the same reason.

  47. The bubble dwellers are presumably unaware that there exists a whole group of people who consume as many calories as they like and stay slim by moving around a lot. I lost six kilos in weight while training for a 140.6 triathlon. I have no idea how many calories I consumed during that time but it was probably more than the government would recommend.

  48. Dennis – surely they’d be better off in the paradise that is Baltimore? Or South Chicago? Or Compton?

    Look, you aren’t clever and we can do this all day. The difference between us is we’re saying Rotherham is shit, the British police are largely shit, and we have all sorts of problems. You’re just standing there with your big fat belly out waving your flag and shouting Murica.

  49. Claude Rains is most remembered for Casablanca, a film produced before I was born. I bother with facts, which is why I am so unpopular.

    Really?
    Mrs. Skeffington
    Notorious
    The Adventures of Robin Hood
    Now, Voyager
    The Invisible Man
    The Wolf Man
    Kings Row
    Lawrence of Arabia
    … and those are only the ones I can recall off the top of my head.

    If you’re unpopular, and I have no evidence to assume otherwise, it isn’t because you’re a walking Encyclopedia Britannica. And if all that comes to mind when you think of Claude Rains is Casablanca, all that means is that you don’t know shit about film.

  50. Look, you aren’t clever and we can do this all day. The difference between us is we’re saying Rotherham is shit, the British police are largely shit, and we have all sorts of problems. You’re just standing there with your big fat belly out waving your flag and shouting Murica.

    And as long as I can get a rise out of dimwits like you, I’ll probably continue to do so.

    You know, for someone who claims to despise aggressive blowhards, you give a very convincing impersonation.

  51. @ Dennis
    I’ve watched Lawrence of Arabia but until you can inform me of a film called “I’d rather have stayed in Tunbridge Wells” my comment stands.
    I’m not a walking Encyclopedia Britannica, but I doubt that you would care if I was.
    If the moon is made of blue cheese then I am Emperor of China.

Leave a Reply

Name and email are required. Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.