Umm….

She accepts the relationship was consensual but said: “I was looking for help and he took advantage of me. He abused his power.”

The relationship ended after two months when Lord Ahmed told her he would not leave his wife, she said.

“I genuinely did believe that he had feelings for me, I’m just so stupid… and I believed that he was going to help me,” she said.

In her interview with Newsnight, Ms Zaman said she feels exploited by Lord Ahmed because she was suffering from anxiety and depression.

The woman is 43 years old.

30 comments on “Umm….

  1. “I believed that he was going to help me”
    Yeah, well. We know what “help” means. So there’s little doubt what you are.
    First rule of the business, luv. Get the money tucked away first.

  2. Tahira Zaman, 43, approached Lord Ahmed in February 2017 through a mutual friend, hoping he would help get the police to investigate a Muslim faith healer who she felt was a danger to women.

    She really is gullible if she thought the police would investigate a Muslim without there first having been a huge outcry and 1000s of girls abused. Even then it will only be reluctantly.

  3. Some one questioned recently (on a thread here, or maybe at Tim Newmans) the old canard about how girls mature faster than boys, and it occurred to me that this might indeed be true (biologically it makes sense, a girl has to look after a baby pretty much as soon as she’s fertile, while a boy doesn’t), however its always taken that this maturity gap is permanent, that somehow women are ‘more mature’ than men of the same age.

    What if women do experience a teenage maturity spurt, but then hit a plateau that they remain on for the rest of their lives, while men continue to mature slowly (school of hard knocks type learning) throughout their lives? It would account for much of male and female behaviour, including daft bints like the one quoted above……………

  4. Interesting question, Meester Jim. My daughter will soon turn 10. Her social precociousness and that of her female peers is extraordinary, chilling even.

    The boys, save that they tend to be good at stuff like maths, or tend at least to enjoy it, seem like cro magnons by comparison.

    And yet, I can discern in the girls’ advanced social growth the kernel of future potential fishwifery, nagginess, neurosis and I’m-just-a-girl-I-can’t-do-it-ness.

    Sometimes they seem like little old ladies. Whilst the boys seem like the protean form of their future selves from 20-60, gradually slowing down and becoming less maniacal.

    But then, as my girlfriend is fond of pointing out, by old age, is the woman who often ends up looking after the man. To which my retort is by that stage he’s worn himself out.

  5. @BiND

    Any second now, NiV will castigate you for not mentioning the thousands of white faith healers (who are nothing to do with the story).

  6. Might be interesting to know whether the constituency MP rebuffed or addressed or exploited Tahira’s approaches.

  7. What if women do experience a teenage maturity spurt, but then hit a plateau that they remain on for the rest of their lives

    It appears if they go through some sort of trauma or have mental problems as teenagers they remain stuck in adolescence. Most of those screeching purple haired harpies you see on women’s marches, for example. Dig into their histories and you’ll find a lot of abuse of one form another that never got properly addressed.

  8. Jim,

    Women tend to mature faster in terms of things like communication and empathy.

    The problem for many women is a lack of development. Men have to be self-reliant. A woman in a programming team gets stuck, there’s plenty of men offering to help. Various explanations for this (pussy, protective, not threatened) but men don’t in the same way. You’re expected to deal with your own shit.

    I know women who just quit their job because they fancied doing a degree in history of art. Know any men who did that? Men will keep getting on that bus or train and swallowing shit to pay the mortgage. Responsibility toughens and smartens you up.

  9. Think it depends on which women you’re talking about Jim.There’s little doubt “maturity” is something learned, not aged into. Part of the learning experience is failing & experiencing the consequences. Many middle class women have been protected from the consequences of their poor choices, so don’t learn useful lessons from them. So they may persist in juvenile behaviour for much of their lives.
    But it’s hardly a purely female fault. A lot of middle class men display much the same character traits.
    The poor tend to mature much earlier because they’re more regularly confronted with the consequences of poor choices. But that doesn’t necessarily mean they mature in a way that’s beneficial for society. It depends on what the consequences are.
    It’s something I’ve learned from dealing with the products of S. America’s poor. They have short time horizons & make poor choices. But in the context of where they’ve come from they’re logical choices & sound survival strategies. Just not for the world they’ve found themselves in. Where they’ve come from delayed gratification isn’t a worthwhile investment because there’s a low probability of profiting from it. They are, however, much more capable of coping with the vagaries of the here an now than many of their rich world contemporaries. And, given the opportunity, they learn very quickly.

  10. “I believed that he was going to help me”

    So she was just shagging him for what she could get out of him? Don’t we have a word for that?

  11. Another factor, and I’ve mentioned this here before, is I don’t think women are nearly as empathetic as they’d like to think they are. Empathy in the sense of being able to appreciate things from another’s point of view. Nothing to do with emotional responsiveness. Whether this is learned behaviour of hard wired in I haven’t a clue, but they seem to model the world exclusively from their own point of view.
    Which accounts for a great deal of this #metoo bollocks. When dealing with situations, men are more ready to analyse things from the perspective of those they’re dealing with “What’s he/she after here?” Women are more inclined to think the other party is acting in accordance with her desires. So in dealing with the illustrious Lord Ahmed a guy’s going to be asking himself “What’s this shit after?” and making sure, before he gets it he pays the price.

  12. bloke in spain said:
    “Another factor, and I’ve mentioned this here before, is I don’t think women are nearly as empathetic as they’d like to think they are. Empathy in the sense of being able to appreciate things from another’s point of view.”

    Agreed. They are very good at emotional connections with people they like, but most of them seem to lack any ability to understand or deal with different viewpoints.

    This makes them very good at working in homogeneous teams with people they like, but very poor at working in mixed teams with people they don’t like.

    My cod evolutionary psychology explanation is that hunting rewards co-operative behaviour (a group of twelve men will catch more mammoths than four groups of three men), so hunters will co-operate with anyone out of self-interest, whereas gathering is a zero-sum game – if you’ve found a bush of berries, if you share it with someone you get fewer berries, so gatherers only co-operate with friends.

  13. BiS
    …but they seem to model the world exclusively from their own point of view

    or whatever the cause de jour is in this week’s wimmins magazines.

  14. “The relationship ended after two months when Lord Ahmed told her he would not leave his wife, she said.”

    Right. Now we get down to the reality. She thought she was more than just somewhere for a reasonably powerful man to put his cock for a few minutes. Turned out she wasn’t. Now she’s destroying him for it. Plus ca change.

  15. There’s something in this empathy thing, I was thinking about it just this afternoon.
    About 20 years ago wife+I were redecorating, wifey insisted on spending the weekend buying new carpets. “But we haven’t finished painting yet, we can only put new carpets down *after* painting”. Never mind, she ordered new carpets, consequently the stair carpet had a rim of crust all the way up it.
    This year, redecorating different rooms, managed to get her to understand “paint first *then* carpets”. Booked the carpets after finishing the painting. All nice and neat. Then: we need new doorknobs. Nooo!!!!! That now means all the f****g doors need repainting ****after**** brand new *****g carpets have been laid.

  16. Nearly 40 years ago, about 3 months into wedded bliss, MrsBud and I attempted redecorating a bathroom together. In the intervening years we have never tried to repeat the experiment. Undoubtedly one of the reasons we are looking forward to our Ruby Wedding Anniversary next year.

  17. No she decides and we pay a professional to do it. To be fair, she explains her plans and asks me what I think, but my response is always along the lines of “sounds great”.

  18. “Think it depends on which women you’re talking about Jim.There’s little doubt “maturity” is something learned, not aged into. Part of the learning experience is failing & experiencing the consequences. Many middle class women have been protected from the consequences of their poor choices, so don’t learn useful lessons from them. So they may persist in juvenile behaviour for much of their lives.”

    I have been considering the case of my mother and her twin sister. Both are very accomplished people (St Thomas’s nurses), who (particularly my mother) have had to deal with very hard adult life problems, and both have families and very long marriages behind them. By any objective view they are very sensible, grounded, and well versed in the ways of the world people. Yet they behave towards each other like a pair of teenagers, constantly having spats and fallings out, to the extent my aunt once drove home 70 miles late at night as she didn’t want to spend another minute in my mothers company. Despite all life has thrown at them, all they have had to cope with they are stuck in a teenage ‘she said nasty things about me/she can’t handle the truth’ mode.

    There’s absolutely no way that 2 brothers of a similar age (late 70s) would behave like that to each other – they’d either have reached a sort of relationship whereby they could rub along OK, or they’d avoid each other entirely. There would be none of these ‘hot and cold’ swings of emotion, and repeated reconciliations and bust-ups. Its as if they have learned absolutely nothing from the last 60 years.

  19. Thinking about it some more I reckon I can condense my thoughts down to one aphorism:

    A man aged 20 contains the germ of the man he could become, a woman aged 20 is all she will ever be

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