I get very confused by the American word “dating”

For I don’t actually know what it means.

Sure, I know what “a date” is. I can think of a range of meanings for “dating”. But what is it taken to mean generally?

Moby has insisted that he and Natalie Portman did date, a day after the Oscar-winning actress denied they had been in a relationship and described him as “creepy”.

Portman, in an interview with Harper’s Bazaar, dismissed claims in Moby’s book that the pair had been romantically involved.

“I was surprised to hear that he characterised the very short time that I knew him as dating because my recollection is a much older man being creepy with me when I just had graduated high school,” she said.

The American singer responded on Wednesday, and swore that he was telling the truth, posting a photograph of the pair together on Instagram.

Does “dating” mean they went for ice cream together? In which case, so what? Or does it mean they bonked? In which case Moby should be horsewhipped for bringing the subject up of course.

24 comments on “I get very confused by the American word “dating”

  1. I surmise that,”dating”, is a euphemism for guilt-free bonking for the fun of it, more enduring than a one-nighter but not as permanent as a ‘relationship’.

  2. And yes, Moby should be publicly horsewhipped for displaying the notch on his bedpost.

  3. Assuming of course that he has such a notch, which I would guess he probably doesn’t. So, changing the subject, how is Moby’s career these days?

  4. Concocted argument in the press to raise publicity for new album, tour, whatever possibly back firing? Is that what dating mean

  5. Hookup at least tells you, unambiguously, that bonking took place.

  6. Jesus Christ dude, even if you did ‘date’, you were 16 *when she was born*. Is it just because he’s old and forgets that you don’t brag about banging under-age girls when you’re in your mid-30’s. That’s the sort of shit that gets you introduced to Chris Hansen.

    “In his new book, the US singer alleges that Portman flirted with him in his dressing room when he was 33 and she was 20.”

    According to Wikipedia he was born in 1965, she was born in 1981. There’s no way she was 20 when he was 33 – she would have been 17.

    So, he might have ‘gone on a date’ with her – and even that definition sort of requires both to agree that that is what happened – he didn’t ‘date’ her.

  7. It’s like ‘lovers.’

    Traditionally the term just meant two people in love. Now it means a sexual relationship.

    My final comment: Portman looks particularly lovely in Your Highness.

  8. Yes, “dating” simply means that coition occurred and “romantically involved” means the same thing, though emphasising the loveless nature of the encounter.

    As for M’Lud’s contribution, “hooking up” is what velcro does and also means sexual congress though without that satisfying tearing noise at separation.

  9. Re hooking up and velcro, I seem to remember that male cats have hooks on their penises which sort of rip the inside of the females to open them up so to speak.

  10. I don’t think dating neccessitates bonking. It’s a ‘more than friends, less than a couple’ thing. Of course, as things move towards the latter bonking is more likely to happen.
    The whole incident with Moby and and NatP is just blown out of proportion. He (naively) thought she was interested in him and she (naively) thought they could be just friends. Happens all the time to us non-celebs.

  11. Imagine bonking a 20 year old Natalie Portman… awesome.

    I’d have got her to wear that tight little white number she was wearing at the end of Attack of the Clones.

  12. Moby has insisted that he and Natalie Portman did date, a day after the Oscar-winning actress denied they had been in a relationship and described him as “creepy”.

    Does he describe himself as a feminist? That’s when women need to start worrying.

  13. Before the 1940s? “making love” was whispering sweet nothings. It can be a bit of a surprise reading old literature of a couple “making love on a park bench”.

  14. Indeed. I still remember reading Emma at about the age of 15 or 16. You can imagine how I boggled at Austen’s description of the vicar getting into a carriage and immediately making ardent love to Emma.

  15. Ever seen a photo of Moby? In his prime?

    The only thing he’s ever dated (no matter how you define it) is his own right hand.

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