What’s the cheapest and fastest way to process milk?

Quick, quick. A high risk but lovely opportunity exists.

What’s the fastest to build, and cheapest, method of processing raw milk? Make butter? Powdered milk? Use it to raise veal?

Northern Ireland risks being swamped by thousands of litres of raw milk after a no-deal Brexit, farmers have claimed.

Livestock owners have warned they would be obliged to keep milking their cows without any means of processing or legally disposing of the product – meaning huge amounts could ultimately go to waste.

Mike Johnston, the head of Dairy Council Northern Ireland, said that businesses had received no guidance from the Government on how they would break out of the looming “vicious circle”.

You’ve got 15 days to be up and running in business……

26 comments on “What’s the cheapest and fastest way to process milk?

  1. Tomorrow’s story in the same paper:

    “Severe milk shortage after Brexit, experts predict. Thousands of babies to die”

  2. I guess it’s the pasteurisation process where the lack of capacity is. If NI milk currently goes to the RoI for that, then I suspect there’ll be some cheap kit going spare just across the border.

    There’s probably also some arbitrage in tankering it across the Irish Sea.

  3. Oh is that one of the “opportunities of Brexit” , might give all the unemployed motor workers who lives you happily fucked up something to do. I am enjoying the way “protectionism” is now “import substitution” . Incidentally I saw you piece claiming that the argument had been that we would be poorer ( and so will our children) but it would be worth it for the adjustment to our constitutional arrangements .
    Tim were you actually in the UK for the referendum ..or were you asleep or something ? Is that seriously what you think the “argument ” was ?
    Personally I am doing rather well out of disaster mitigation actually ( in fact Commercially speaking No Deal would suit me well )
    Just in case you were concerned

  4. @Stonyground: “As we all know, the EU has never had problems with an unmanageable food surplus before.”

    Time to get working on the cheese mountain and yoghurt lake!

  5. Julia
    Were you under the impression that in the halcyon pre ” Evil Empire ” Days the Uk was free of obstructive regulation , and agriculture was a wizzy competitor industry- au fucking contraire young lady au fucking contraire ( thats French)

  6. What important functions does the Dairy Council Northern Ireland have that iprevented it from discussing the downstream post Brexit issues of NI milk production with its membership?

    As Matt says, the processing capacity (and the end-users) won’t have gone away and if NI producers are vulnerable, they’ve had three years to contemplate what to do.

  7. It might help if you could hit the right keys in the right order, Newmania. We get that you’re angry, but just try it a little slower.

  8. Just paint protected by PIRA on your tankers and watch them go back and forth over the border unmolested. Of course not free, someone probably will turn up at some point asking for some sort of copyright royalty payment.

  9. “As Matt says, the processing capacity (and the end-users) won’t have gone away and if NI producers are vulnerable, they’ve had three years to contemplate what to do.”

    Lots of people get their businesses messed around by business regulation. Sometimes destroyed. GDPR has probably messed up more trade than milk production in Northern Ireland.

  10. It gets boring correcting the errors of Facepainter but “au fucking contraire” is not French. It is just a stupid person trying to show off both how annoyed he is and how ignorant he is at the same time as being childishly sexist. Does anyone else imagine him as a chubby slab of a man with a red face and his belly showing through his shirt buttons as well as a penchant for using words like “niggers”? An uglier and drunker version of Captain Potato?

  11. Sell it door-to-door as raw milk. My milkman shut down his green top deliveries because the red tape got too tight. I miss my green top milk! Bring it back!

  12. Diogenes

    “au fucking contraire”

    An uglier and drunker version of Captain Potato?

    No, it’s Del Boy.

  13. Facepainter–perhaps you could try milk instead of turps to get your mug off. Given that maybe you’ll do us all a favour and put turps in your tea. If a thorough-going traitor like you drinks tea of course.

  14. Kill the surplus cows, sell the meat, grow something else, like all the food that will be in short supply after No-deal Brexit.

    ‘… or legally disposing of the product…’ dig a hole in a field and pour the milk into it. There is nothing in the milk that can contaminate ground water or run off into water courses. Bonus, it will fertilise the soil.

  15. Dunno, John. Milk has an extremely high BOD. You don’t want it your streams. In quantity, it is a dangerous pollutant.

  16. “if NI producers are vulnerable, they’ve had three years to contemplate what to do.”

    Victims of Remainers. They are legion.

  17. @Newmania: “Julia
    Were you under the impression that in the halcyon pre ” Evil Empire ” Days the Uk was free of obstructive regulation , and agriculture was a wizzy competitor industry…”

    I remember my grandmother telling me about inability to get milk and vegetables, yes.

    But that’s rationing for you! 🙂

  18. “Were you under the impression that in the halcyon pre ” Evil Empire ” Days the Uk was free of obstructive regulation , and agriculture was a wizzy competitor industry- au fucking contraire young lady au fucking contraire ( thats French)”

    Actually you’re 100% wrong. Pre the EEC days farming was hardly regulated at all. You could dose your fields with any chemical you liked (and some of them were pretty nasty in those days),no PPE at all, just open topped tractors driving along with a crop sprayer behind spewing it all out. You could burn your stubbles, rip out hedges to your hearts content, indeed the State was requiring you to do all these things to increase production as much as possible. You didn’t need permission to drain a boggy field, they actually paid you to do it. Now of course it would be a vital habitat for some beetle or other and you’d be for the high jump if you so much as ploughed it. There were no royalties for farm saved seed, there were no regulations on when you could cut you hedges, or spread your manure or fertiliser, or indeed limits on the amounts. Health and safety consisted of ‘It’ll be alright! What are you scared of, I was fighting Germans only a few years ago!’. You could bury your own deadstock on the farm, and also burn your own waste. You could use fence posts that were treated with chemicals that actually preserved the wood. All of which disappeared after we joined the EEC/EU.

    So you know f*ck all about farming, like everything else.

  19. I remember being involved in purchasing about £1m of frozen beef from the EU surplus many years ago and we were just one of many buyers, we were quite bemused by having to pay (to a Dublin bank) in Euro’s as it was during the period after it was introduced but before it replaced European coins and notes so only used for commercial bank transactions.
    Recall that the issue seemed to be they were running out of commercial freezer space as there was quite a strict schedule for delivery.

  20. In all honesty, if they had some bees, they would be living in the land of milk and honey. What could be wrong with that?

  21. iirc the problem is an EU Rule – milk from outside EU must be declared Safe & Compliant by an EU approved Vet

    Solution: make UHT Milk, butter, cheese and yoghurt – UK imports them from RoI and more

    Or ignore EU rules and continue as is and tell EU to FO (at gunpoint?)

    @Hallowed Be October 16, 2019 at 9:48 am

    Chortle

    Some “Protected by UVF” too – the two may even collaborate against EU:

    “Protected by PIRA & UVF”

    @jgh October 16, 2019 at 11:00 am

    +1

    During one 1970s “Troubles” hiatus we drove short distance to farm to buy milk. NI is small – 86 miles x 82 miles (with UK’s largest lake in middle) – nothing there is far away

    @John B October 16, 2019 at 11:33 am

    +1

    @Jim October 16, 2019 at 1:36 pm

    +1

    At least farmers can still – for now – buy creosote

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