Good grief, I didn’t realise this

Pettigo is unique in Ireland as it is the only village divided by the border after Ireland gained independence from Britain in 1922. The river that runs beneath his workshop window places Johnston’s Protestant family in Northern Ireland and his largely Catholic neighbours on the other side of the 1820s cut-stone bridge in the republic of Ireland.

So Spike didn’t look that far for the name Puckoon then.

Quite my favourite part of which (well, favourite single joke) is the way the border runs through the pub. So there are two different tax regimes, two different sets of opening hours. The regulars moving across the room to cross the lines as appropriate.

Writing for Kindle

Some time back it was suggested that people should use Open Office (and I think it was the open office file type as well) because Word didn’t translate well into Kindle style files.

Now I see that Amazon says just upload Word into Kindle Create and she’ll be right.

Umm, any advice?

Geordies, eh?

A competition in South Shields in 1991 for a lookalike of the footballer Paul Gascoigne was won by a teenage girl.

Remarkably, that’s not a comment on how effeminate Gazza looks.

English-speakers can learn French in half the time it takes to learn Welsh.

Because half of English is French while we don’t use any Welsh words?

Emma Martina Luigia Morano, the world’s oldest person when she died at 117, outlived 90 Italian governments.

Snigger.

Only 2 per cent of British households had a fridge in 1946.

Modern poverty, eh?

IF you have £1,785 of savings, you are richer than half of the world’s population.

No, wrong, that should read: IF you have £1,785 of savings and no debt, you are richer than half of the world’s population.

Erm, authorised by whom?

The great-grandnephew of Bram Stoker is writing the first authorised prequel to Dracula, based on scholarly research into the original, unedited version of Stoker’s 1897 tale of the undead count, as well as Stoker family legends.

Bram Stoker died in 1012. The book itself is thus public domain. There’s no one out there with any legal right to authorise or not.

Well, no, not really, even from Sir Pterry

How many Terry Pratchett fans considered chaining themselves to the steamroller that flattened his last hard drives, or lying down in the mud to prevent the destruction of unknown treasures? I couldn’t help wondering how much those hard drives would have raised if they’d been auctioned, what price a devoted reader or eager academic would have been prepared to pay for a glimpse of the great man’s last unpolished thoughts? We’ll never know: Pratchett was adamant that no incomplete ideas should survive him to be finished by someone else, and left instructions detailing their characteristically dramatic end.

As a reader, it’s hard not to feel conflicted. It’s been reported that Pratchett had a tantalising 10 potential novels on that computer; anyone who loved his work must be itching to know what they contained. Even a rough outline and a few notes would have felt like a gift from beyond the grave.

One of the notable things about that decline was to realise how much of the joy of the books came from the complex manner in which they were written, not the storylines themselves. The Truth say, or the last of what I consider the complete adult ones, Unseen Academicals, are a markedly different reading experience to Raising Steam say. Which I read actually thinking, well, I can see how this joke could go, I don’t know and can’t know how the full Pratchett would have taken it but I wish I could. Similarly, in Shepherd’s Crown the invention of sheds for retired men is a fabulous idea – and it would have been spun out into something more complex.

More than many another writer – or perhaps it’s because we did see the output through that decline – it was the over-writing that made the books great, not the plotlines and the sketches for them.

There is a certain irony here

A model of the biographer’s art”, which pulls back the curtain on one of the most significant but least recognised political figures of the last century, has won Britain’s most prestigious prize for political writing. John Bew’s Citizen Clem, about Clement Attlee, the founder of the NHS, was named winner of the £3,000 2017 Orwell prize for books at a ceremony in London on Thursday night.

Because 1984 was, in large part, about 1948 when Clem was PM. No, not the political side of it, but the descriptions of shortages, the utter, utter dreariness. And as we know, that was all prolonged by the idiot decision to try to plan everything. We know this, because when Adenauer said “Sod the planning” that’s when the German economy took off.

At some point I’ll write another book and this point will be in it

We should change the inflation basket as tastes and incomes and spending change. But we must understand what we’re doing when we do so. What we’re not doing, by definition, is measuring the change in the price of the same lifestyle over time.

It’s the answer to those people who say that 50 years ago one wage could support a family. Sure, but the basket of goods, the standard of living being supported, was very different from what is the average we’re measuring today.

It wouldn’t surprise me at all if olive oil was in the CPI basket in the UK today. Back then it was sold in pharmacies, in dropper bottles, to cure earache.

There’s actually a project in that. If anyone would like to bung me a decent advance, say £30k, I’ll get right on it. How much would it cost today to live as the average in 1980, 1970, 1960…..we’ve got the CPI basket going back to 1945 I think and I’m sure someone has the weights around as well. I think people would be astonished at how cheaply, today, you could live as our grandparents did when they were bringing up their children.

Just think of the housing costs savings of shared bedrooms and no central heating…..

Tinder

There is a very funny riff in the hilarious new play Raising Martha, on at the little Park Theatre in north London, that revolves around the name Linda. In the play, a middle-aged character called Gerry is trying to write a song about his true love but falters because, as he sings: “Nothing really rhymes with Linda…”

There’s the basic structure of a limerick there.

Markets are markets, eh?

A week after “alt-right” figurehead and Breitbart editor Milo Yiannopoulos landed a lucrative $250,000 (£203,000) book deal with publisher Simon & Schuster in the US, the UK division of the publisher has walked away from the opportunity, confirming it will not publish his controversial book.

A Simon & Schuster UK spokesperson confirmed to the Guardian that it would not be publishing Yiannopoulos’s memoir, titled Dangerous, which is due out in the US in March.

Senior editors at many of the UK’s biggest publishing houses told the Guardian they were unlikely to offer for the book should it come on to the market. “It will be a toxic book to try and sell here,” one publishing insider said.

A publishing director at a nonfiction imprint, who also asked not to be named, said: “A lot of semi-toxic books do go to large publishers, but I wouldn’t touch this if it was offered to me and don’t think anyone else will.”

You can see where The Guardian is going with this, can’t you? Toxic! We Brits won’t touch it! Hurrah!

And then we get to the nub of the matter:

Major publishers insisted their reluctance to take on Yiannopoulos had less to do with his opinions than that, outside media and rightwing circles, he was relatively unknown in the UK. “He doesn’t have a platform in Britain,” said one. “We have a history of publishing toxic books here that have done well, but this won’t be one of them, he’s just not that well known.”

The book sales are to come from the fame, the Twitter account (perhaps the fame from not having one of those any more) etc. That is, this is a celebrity book not a political one. Milo’s Greek Jewish cookbook would have done as well.

At which point, so, how well did Owen Jones’ latest do in the US? Sure, we know it did well here, national column, turns up at all the right demos, large Twitter following. And in the US?

How amusing

A book review magazine decides to boycott an entire publisher for an as yet unannounced deal with a specific author:

Yiannopoulos told the Hollywood Reporter that negative publicity had only boosted his profile, likening it to MTV banning the video for Madonna’s Justify My Love in 1990 and coverage of Trump in the lead-up to the US election.

“They said banning me from Twitter would finish me off,” Yiannopoulos said. “Just as I predicted, the opposite has happened.”

He did not confirm the precise amount paid for his book, but claimed he was offered “a wheelbarrow full of money”.

“I met with top execs at Simon & Schuster earlier in the year and spent half an hour trying to shock them with lewd jokes and outrageous opinions. I thought they were going to have me escorted from the building – but instead they offered me a wheelbarrow full of money.”

Threshold Editions was founded in 2006 “to provide a forum for … innovative ideas of contemporary conservativism”. According to its mission statement, it is “celebrating 10 years of being right!”

Its recent bestsellers include works by the president-elect Trump, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and Dick and Liz Cheney.

The Chicago Review of Books described Yiannopoulos’ book deal as a “disgusting validation of hate” and said it would boycott books published by Simon & Schuster in 2017 in protest.

My, aren’t we all about promoting a diversity of views here.

I dunno here, I just don’t know

A Dutch backpacker was one of two men rescued from a capsized yacht off North Stradbroke Island, but the drama hasn’t dented his sense of humour.

“Australia wants to kill me! Drop bears, everything, now a rock,” Max, 23, joked to reporters.

Drop bears. Wiki tells me that it’s quite a modern Oz joke. And The Last Continent was published in 1998.

So which came first? Was Sir Pterry playing off an extant joke? Or did he create it?

Err, yes Pippa

She was widely ridiculed for her debut book – a collection of painfully obvious top tips for party-planning.

Now Pippa Middleton, the sister of the Duchess of Cambridge has risked further mockery by admitting she has not tested all the recipes in her new healthy cookery book herself.

Still, at least she appears to have read it, which is more than Naomi Campbell did with her novel (s?)