Meghan seems particularly dim

Spectacularly dim even:

The Duchess of Sussex has revealed she was warned before her marriage to Prince Harry that the British tabloids would “destroy” her life, as she spoke of struggling to cope with the reality of being part of the royal family.

In an interview for the ITV documentary Harry & Meghan: An African Journey, she said the last year had been “hard” and that she had had “no idea” of what she would face.

You’ve just told us you were warned…..

This lad’s going to get into Disney for free.

Jermaine Bell was supposed to spend his seventh birthday at Disney World. He’d saved up money to take his family on a trip to Animal Kingdom in Florida.

Instead, he emptied his piggy bank to buy hundreds of hot dogs and serve them for free to Hurricane Dorian evacuees passing through their South Carolina town.
The 6-year-old opened a hot dog stand along the side of a busy road in Allendale and offered those escaping the coast free franks, water, chips and prayers.

It’s impossible to imagine this story ending with anything other than a freebie trip, isn’t it?

After all, to be usefully capitalist about it, how many acres of newsprint will Disney buy with a couple of compo tickets?

Well, yes, but….

Famous friends rally to support Duke and Duchess of Sussex: ‘All they’re trying to do is make the world better’

Many have made that claim, even had that aim, and not quite managed it…..Uncle Joe, Adolf, even the people who imposed first generation biofuels upon us….

Oooh, this is fun

Re Ghislaine:

In adulthood she had no power without Epstein, who held all the purse strings. He had been embroiled financially with her father and it may be that Epstein bought her the fancy $5m townhouse in New York with Robert Maxwell’s own money, squirrelled away in anticipation of his looming bankruptcy.

If true – far fetched, obviously, so emphasis on the if there – then that means all her money belongs to that bankruptcy trustee.

Nick Cage’s 26 mile pilgrimage to the Grail

Nicolas Cage went on a quest to find the Holy Grail which took him to Glastonbury, the actor has revealed, where he drank from a stream that he said tasted like the blood of Christ.

He went on a “grail quest”, inspired by religion and mythology, in which “one thing lead to another”, he said, and ended up there.

Given that he lived just outside Bath that would be a 26 mile quest then.

It’s not actually as mad as it sounds either:

“One thing would lead to another,” the actor told the New York Times, “It’s like when you build a library.

“You read a book, and in it there’s a reference to another book, and then you buy that book, and then you attach the references. For me it was all about where was the grail? Was it here? Was it there? Is it at Glastonbury?”

He added: “If you go to Glastonbury and go to the Chalice Well, there’s a spring that does taste like blood.”

“I guess it’s really because there’s a lot of iron in the water.”

Rather than saddling up the coconut halves it’s rather more a literary quest with a bit of wandering around Somerset…..

A tentative solution

Theatre staff have called for abusive members of the audience to be thrown out of venues in response to growing levels of aggressive behaviour.

Front of house staff in some of the country’s most famous theatres are reporting an increasing amount of unacceptable behaviour by audiences, ranging from verbal abuse to outright physical confrontation.

Why not put on better plays?

You just wait honey, you just wait

Damn, luvvies can be just so annoying. So, there’s a Guardian headline:

Patricia Arquette: ‘I don’t want to play the ingenue for ever’

To which the correct response is don’t worry honey, you won’t.

ingénue
/ˈãʒən(j)uː/
noun
an innocent or unsophisticated young woman, especially in a play or film.

Just wait a few years and you really won’t.

So, all nicely lined up to have a snarl:

“It’s really liberating,” she says. “I feel like my whole career, I’ve had to operate within boundaries of what’s a likable woman? What’s attractive to society? There were a lot of people before I did Escape at Dannemora who said: ‘Oh my God, don’t gain weight for that, don’t let them make you look like that or you won’t be able to get jobs.’ I was like: ‘I’m an actor, just let me act!’… I don’t feel that we put that on males and I don’t want to carry it around any more.

“I don’t want to be the ingenue for ever – you can’t,” she continues. “We see people my age still trying to be ingenues, and at a certain point, you look… otherworldly. How are you going to play a 50-year-old woman in the real world?” Arquette isn’t judgmental about plastic surgery (“It’s your face; you get to look like whatever you want to look like”). She just feels that it affects on-screen credibility. “If some dude who looks like he works out four hours a day plays some regular dad, I have a hard time believing that too. You’ve got to look realistic for a part like that.”

Bugger, isn’t that annoying? An actor who is actually an intellectual adult?

Reading the sidebar of shame

We should, occasionally at least, educate ourselves on the preoccupations of others in our shared society:

Shirley Ballas, 58, reveals she’s ‘happier than ever’ with new beau Daniel Taylor, 44, as she admits he had no idea who she was when they first met during panto

So, err, who is she then? She looks both a bit young and a bit white to have done those James Bond themes doesn’t she?

Well, no, not really

Jared Harris:

Why does he think he had that block? “You’re so conscious of class growing up in Britain, and suspicious of that world and not feeling you belong to it.” But wasn’t he surrounded by posh actorly types when he was growing up? “No. My father had a massive mistrust of that world. The closest I would have got to that would have been through Rex.”

He remembers how she would turn up at his boarding school for visiting days, always late, always gorgeous in a giant hat and mini skirt. “The other boys would sit there and say why can’t your mother show up on time because their parents would turn up early and they couldn’t see the latest fashion she was wearing.”

Can’t say I recall that in the slightest but there we are. And at least in that side of life there weren’t that many posh people around. Still, observing the world now I do think it fun that one of his major collaborators – Peter Morgan – is someone he knew at that boarding school. Networks and connections do seem to matter after all.

Snigger

This may be an old urban myth, but is it true you once competed in a drag queen Dolly Parton look-a-like contest?

That’s the truth. It was at a gay club in Los Angeles. I lived in this little apartment right up the street from Santa Monica Blvd, right near the gay strip. At one particular club, they had a Halloween costume competition, and people would go dressed as Cher or me or whoever. We saw a whole bunch of Dollys walking around outside the club. So I told my friends, “Let’s go check it out.”

You weren’t afraid of being recognized?

Oh no. It was Halloween, so we just over-exaggerated ourselves. I made my hair bigger, gave myself darker, thicker, more ridiculous makeup, and bigger lips. We walked in, ordered a drink, and watched the show. Then they started the competition, and all the drag queens dressed like me were walking across the stage, to be judged by audience applause who was the best Dolly. I just wanted to watch, but my friends convinced me to get up there. They said, “Go. Go, go, do it.” And I whispered, “Okay, fine.” I jumped onstage and joined the line of Dollys.

Nobody realized you were the real Dolly Parton?

Nobody even knew. Cause I was over-exaggerated. I looked like a clown version of myself. Maybe I went too far, because I lost.

You lost a Dolly Parton look-a-like contest?

I did, yeah. [Laughs.] I got the least applause of anybody. Of course, my friends were cracking up.

How is that possible?

I guess there were some other Dolly Partons who looked more like Dolly Parton than I did. [Laughs.] They were good, I’ll give them that. But when you’re Dolly Parton and you lose a Dolly Parton look-a-like contest, that’s pretty bad.

In which I talk about a Kardashian….

…intellectual property and The Great Tuberoso

We have an interesting little refutation of the strictures of the Senior Lecturer in International Political Economy at Islington Technical College here. For, as we all know, he insists that intellectual property means nothing. It’s just a manner of moving money around the world to dodge tax, it has no real economic import whatsoever. We should therefore simply ignore it all – for all purposes, not just tax if I’ve understood the drivel correctly.

Which is interesting, given that the world’s about to be youngest self-made billionaire, Kylie Jenner, seems to make her money from nothing at all except intellectual property:

Stereotype much?

Eurovision winner Conchita has told fans that she is HIV-positive, and has been in regular treatment for “several years”. The 29-year-old Austrian drag performer made a public statement on Instagram in response to an ex-boyfriend allegedly threatening to reveal the information.