So then, define indigenous

Cook responded with a bizarre claim, telling @maorimermaid: ‘Lol. Get a clue before you jump on the bandwagon. Maori are NOT indigenous you ignorant tw**.’
Maoris, who are of Polynesian descent, have lived in New Zealand since the 13th century, more than 500 years before British settlement.

I think I’m right in saying that until the Maori turned up there were no humans living there. But does turning up after Canterbury Cathedral (our one) was already a century old make you indigenous?

La verite, painful ain’t it?

Alisa Titko, a writer for Komsomolskaya Pravda, ….

Having recently visited Manchester, she wrote: “It is true that there are many fat people in Manchester.

“Local young women don’t mind when fat hangs down from their stomach and body – and does not fit into their jeans.

“Whatever, when they go to a nightclub they put on tight fit leggings and mini-dresses.”

Observing the flesh in a Russian nightclub is indeed a rather different experience.

She does then rather go off the rails:

“There is even a plate there saying ‘Gay Village’.

“It is the most popular place for such couples, there are cafés and clubs there with small rainbow flags.

“Of course, a young man with a girl can also go into the gay club but they should know that if somebody approaches them, it maybe not just for a chat but for something more deep.

“Of course, it is hardly possible that men turn gay because girls are too fat and non-sexual. But it can influence it too.”

Young Owen’s from up around there isn’t he? Sexy enough to turn anyone’s head.

But one more serious point. Couldn’t the Telegraph have found someone to actually translate the piece? Instead of using what is obviously Google Translate? My very first newspaper/magazine work was taking these sorts of half translations and turning them into something more like English. It just leaps out when someone’s translating from any of the Slavic languages on a word by word, rather than meaning, basis.

Well, no, actually, it wasn’t

Many people are going to attack the logic of the statement itself, and there’s much to attack it on. Negotiations require, to some degree, an acceptance of the legitimacy of the viewpoints on the other side. Given that the civil war was fought to maintain chattel slavery as the dominant mode of economic production in the south, it is puzzling that Trump conceives of a negotiation that legitimizes the concept of owning other human beings.

And everywhere else that had chattel slavery – which was most places across time and geography – managed to get rid of it without a civil war.

So Trump’s question isn’t in fact that stupid, is it?

Negotiations are possible. The Empire got rid of it in 1833, compensation being deployed. Brazil took until the 1880s, still no civil war. Mauretania, legally at least, had it until 1984, no civil war.

It is actually an interesting question therefore, why did the US have the civil war? Even if we accept that it was just about chattel slavery, which it wasn’t, why was the American case so different?

What this actually is is an example of that American exceptionalism the left so often decries. Because the US had a civil war over slavery therefore the only way to deal with slavery is a civil war. Entirely missing the manner in which the rest of the world didn’t.

No good will come of being a hero

A 34-year-old Indian-origin man is being hailed for his courage and rewarded by the police in the US after he saved the life of his woman co-worker from an oncoming train but was robbed of his bag when he jumped on the tracks to help her.

Alternatively, this is ‘Murica. Where there’s a reasonable chance that someone’s going to track down that little scrote and give him what he deserves.

Amusingly, Macron’s wife would be in jail today

Yes, I knew about the teacher bit, but not that it was while still at school:

One of Emmanuel’s friends – at whose grandmother’s home near Chantilly, he was supposedly studying for his baccalaureate exams – rang to organise the coming weekend. His mother, Francoise Noguès-Macron, realised then that “Manu”, who called her every day to tell her about his day, was not actually in Chantilly. At the end of the week, his father went to the station to collect his son on his supposed return from a week’s revision with friends. There were raised voices when they returned home.

“What mattered to me was not the fact he was having a relationship with Brigitte but that he was alive and that there weren’t any problems,” says Francoise.

Nope, that’s being in authority etc, hands off territory.

Amazingly, I’ve not seen anyone noting this….

Not quite le mot juste here

Four days before the first round of the French presidential election, Europe is terrified by the prospect of a runoff between Marine Le Pen and Jean-Luc Mélenchon. Whoever wins, we are told, the wheat will grow thin, nuclear winter will fall over the continent, and frogs will rain down from the sky.

It’s the Frogs who are voting…..

Isn’t this just absolutely gorgeous?

The New York Times can be spectacularly stupid (via Guido):

“He could not tell his readers exactly what Mr. Macron said, however, because, as he boasted in the article, he does not really speak French, although he studied it in school. But why should he make an effort, seemed to be the idea, when it is so easy to ridicule the French for being French, and when to be English is to feel superior to your neighbors?…

“Mr. Kidd’s hauteur isn’t surprising, given that Mr. Murdoch’s papers and the rest of the country’s right-leaning news media have spent decades nurturing an ancient anti-Europe narrative long reflected in the Conservative Party’s Euroskeptic wing. If London, or at least much of London, has welcomed or tolerated all the changes, many people around Britain, particularly from older generations, have lamented that they no longer recognize the country of their childhoods.”

Patrick Kidd is no the political columnist, he’s the sketch writer:

My masters at school, I will be honest, had not properly prepared me for the task of following an hour-long speech in rapid French. Mr Macron did not ask for directions to la gare once, for example.

Nor did he invite anyone in the audience to come to une boum chez lui ce week-end. He didn’t even say “zut” or “bof”. One wondered if he was French at all.

Ten years ago he married his French teacher, who is 24 years his senior, which may explain some of these rudimentary gaps in his knowledge. Too much sitting at the back of class sighing at madame and writing poetry rather than learning such essentials as “le oiseau est dans l’arbre”. Still, he struggled by and with the help of a friendly interpreter so did I.

A spectacular missing of the point I think.

Tinned spaghetti pizza

If a prime minister wants to truly unite a nation – one way not to do it is to cook a pizza with spaghetti topping.

This seems to be the lesson that New Zealand’s leader, Bill English, can take away after he dabbled in the kitchen and sprinkled his result on social media this week.

On Tuesday night English cooked dinner for his family – a 1980s rural Kiwi classic: tinned spaghetti and pineapple pizza. Later, he posted a series of photos of his home-spun efforts on Facebook.

Fortunately we’ve Adam Smith and David Ricardo to come to the rescue here. Division and specialisation of labour, the resultant trade from the greater production, we’re best off when everyone does what they’re least bad at.

Meaning that perhaps English should be trying to run the country because he most certainly shouldn’t be trying to cook for it.

Then again, the Southland, eh?

Some said tinned spaghetti and pineapple pizza was a nostalgic staple of a Southland childhood (English hails from the tiny farming community of Dipton at the bottom of the South Island) and they praised his budget-friendly dinner as an affordable option for “beneficiaries”.

One woman wrote: “Yup this is how we made pizzas growing up! Must be a Southland thing! Still make them like this for my kids and they love them. Sometimes we use baked beans – oops, maybe I’ve just opened another can of worms……”

Must be why they breed such fierce rugby players down there. Desperate to go touring with the All Blacks in search of a decent meal…..

So which country would you prefer?

Sierra Leone pastor discovers 706-carat diamond in village

Fox News  – ‎19 hours ago‎
FREETOWN, Sierra Leone – A pastor in Sierra Leone has discovered the largest uncut diamond found in more than four decades in this West African country and has turned it over to the government, saying he hopes it helps to boost recent development in …

Quite astonishing

Hooded youths armed with iron bars have gone on the rampage in secondary schools in the tinderbox suburbs north of Paris, sparking more than 50 arrests.

The violence prompted the far-Right Front National to claim that the government had lost control in suburbs around France, prey to lawlessness, drug dealing and ethnic and religious tensions.

The teenagers threw stones at police cars, started fires and lobbed smoke bombs in three sixth form colleges in the Paris suburb of Saint-Denis.

Ethnic and religious tensions, prey to, is pretty light as a description of the banlieues around Paris, isn’t it?

This will work out well, won’t it?

President Jacob Zumahas called on parliament to change South Africa’s constitution to allow the expropriation of white owned land without compensation.

And this won’t work well either:

Mr Zuma, 74, who made the remarks in a speech yesterday/FRI morning, said he wanted to establish a “pre-colonial land audit of land use and occupation patterns” before changing the law.

There were no Bantu over the Fish River which is going to cock up some of that grievance politics good and proper.

This does appear ever so slightly suspicious

More than 120 diners celebrating a baptism fled without paying their bill €2,000 restaurant bill after the main courses.
The Romanian diners, who had paid a deposit of €900 (£770) to eat at the El Carmen restaurant in Bembibre, north-eastern Spain, fled as waiters were about to serve dessert.
Restaurant owner Antonio Rodriguez told the BBC: ‘It happened in the space of a minute. It was something they had planned and they left in a stampede.’

Given the baptism it shouldn’t be too hard to find a name……