Them foreigners and their jabbering

The word ”Kyriakos” sounds not only funny in Persian but very vulgar too.

According to Google translate service, when someone pronounces ”Kyr” in Persian, he or she is referring to the penis!

As if this wasn’t enough, the next syllable of the Greek PM’s name, ”ia”, is the sound someone makes in order to say ”or”.

Now, whether you want to believe it or not, ”kos”, which is the last syllable of the name Kyriakos, is a boorish term in the Persian language, which refers to a derogatory term that translates to the English swear word that begins with a ”c” and ends with a ”t”.

Apparently the translation becomes Dick Celt.

No wonder no one would say it.

Linguists please

The name of the company is well known in German-speaking countries as a starter to humorously construct even longer compound words. Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitänsmütze is such a word, which potentially might even have been used, but probably never actually was. It means a “DDSG captain’s hat”. Another common example is Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitänskajütenschlüssel which means “DDSG captain’s cabin key”.

An Dame Margaret, Lady Hodge’s, grandpa:

“Oh there he is!” said Dame Margaret Hodge, approaching a portrait she has never seen face to face before. “It is my old grandad … how amazing!”

The sitter, with a distinctive white moustache and blue eyes, was Wilhelm Hollitscher, a former chief engineer of the Danube Steamboat Shipping Company who fled the Nazis and was soon interned by the British in camps with many thousands of so-called enemy aliens.

The chief engineer of the company would be what as one single compound word?

The Woken SS

Yes, we must use this phrase more often:

The Woken SS

What’s amusing – horrifying to taste – is that they are in fact invading Poland as well. A vaguely Catholic authoritarianism might not be to your or my taste but that Woken SS is insisting that it must not be allowed to happen even where people have voted for it.

Do horses have accents?

I think I’m right in saying that chimps have accents? Different packs using slightly different sets of sounds? Can be distinguished by sound recordings?

So, do horses have accents?

To the layman, one horse’s neigh, whinny and snort sounds just like any other horse’s neigh, whinny and snort.

But there are subtle differences. Take that from the horse’s mouth.

Equestrians have long been irritated by the incorrect use of horse noises in film and television productions. Now one of the UK’s leading horse sanctuaries is working with an iconic film sound studio to find the most genuine equine sounds for use on screen.

Redwings, the horse charity, is collaborating on a project in which horse owners across Britain are invited to submit high-quality recordings of their horse neighing, whinnying, snorting or nickering.

Are we about to end up with all the horses in movies having English accents – like the baddies?

A question

Being a woman in public life is not without challenge. Female MPs, athletes and actors are subjected to abuse on and offline.

I know why actresses are now called actors but I’m not sure why, in the past, we didn’t use the word athlettes. Is it just because we didn’t have any back when we were coining words?

This isn’t actually useless research

That doesn’t mean it’s an appropriate use of lottery money etc, but this isn’t useless at all:

A study carried out to investigate the so-called ‘Portsmouth accent’ spent more than £30,000 of lottery funding before it concluded there was nothing to discover.

Researchers at Havant and South Downs College spent 10 months examining the dialect of people in Portsmouth and any differences it has from surrounding parts of Hampshire and Sussex.

But in announcing the end of the project, the college conceded that had “not unearthed anything”.

The college was given £34,000 from the Heritage Lottery Fund last year to investigate the city’s accent and discover why it was so different to the ‘country’ dialect spoken in nearby areas.

The Pompey dialect includes words such as ‘squinny’, which means to constantly moan and whine, and the insult ‘dinlo’, which infers stupidity.

Hmm, dunno there, I use squinny and I don’t think I’ve ever been there. Sisters were born there (Naval families, eh?). A reasonable assumption, one I’d offer absolutely no proof for, would be that some of those words move over into standard naval speech.

However, how the accent differs will be obvious enough. Urban accents tend to be faster versions of the surrounding rural ones. Tend note, tend. Twerton is a very fast version of Somerset etc.

As to the value, those students have learnt a great lesson. The vast majority of all research projects find nothing notable. This applies wider – the vast majority of all business adventures fail dismally. Failure is the modal outcome for all human adventures. That’s worth learning, no?

Fun question

Is there a poor country that speaks English?

Not Indian style English, bit flowery. But something akin to either English or American but is also a poor place with low incomes?

Can’t really think of any myself. Anyone?


As it turned out, Roosevelt had things almost perfectly backwards. A century of immigration has done little to dislodge the status of English in North America. If anything, its position is stronger than it was a hundred years ago. Yet from a global perspective, it is not America that is threatened by foreign languages. It is the world that is threatened by English.

What conceivable threat is there to the world that people have a common method of communication?

Other than whitey – you know, us – imposing himself again.

And everywhere it goes, it leaves behind a trail of dead: dialects crushed, languages forgotten, literatures mangled.

Which is to misunderstand how languages work. English is splintering into those dialects as we speak. Because that’s what languages do, they’re not only methods of communication they’re markers of in and out group.

Every day English spreads, the world becomes a little more homogenous and a little more bland.

And every time some kid uses it in a slightly different manner – which some hundreds of millions of kids do each and every day – the lexicon and the language becomes more heterogenous and diverse.

Blimey, anyone would think we’ve not already seen Latin become French, Portuguese, Spanish, Catalan, Italian (Florentine, Venezo and Sicilian at least being different languages themselves) and so on.

As usual, nothing so conservative as a lefty with a grudge.

Well, no, it doesn’t work that way

Even the sticklers who can spot a stray apostrophe a mile off may struggle over when to use a hyphen.

But help is at hand for those who are unsure of where to put one.

A study of more than 10,000 words, including hyphens, has found that four basic rules will work 75 per cent of the time.

No, not really

If word is a verb, adjective or adverb, it probably needs hyphen (like chain-smoke)

If second part has more letters, it should be spelt as one word (like coastline)

Line has more letters than coast does it?

But more than that, what requires the hyphen changes over time. Two separate words, then with the hyphen, then the migration to the one word. Sure, English doesn’t quite do as German, sticking old words together at the drop of a hat to describe some new thing. Nor does it do as Russian (say) seemingly inventing a new word for every new occurrence. Rather, we do a bit of both, and that agglutinating (?) is something that happens over time, decades.

You know, market system, try things out, see what flies, adopt what works?

And that’s why poetry of course

Gupta leads a group of 20 female “change agents” in Purabgaon. Each of the 360 villages in Amethi covered by the scheme has a team of 20 agents – local women trained to educate other women.

Gupta sometimes changes the lyrics of romantic folk songs to refer to iron supplements, intrauterine devices (IUDs) and breastfeeding. “They find it easier to remember what I’ve told them if they sing it,” she said.

Things are indeed easier to remember if there’s a structure to what you’re trying to recall. Songs work. So does poetry. Indeed, that’s rather the point of rhyme and rhythm in those long pieces like Homer and Beowulf. To aid the teller of the story in recalling it. The need for the two acting as a prompt to memory.

Making the song part of this education not a new thing at all, but rather the very thing which has preserved ancient, pre-literacy, culture for us.

This isn’t going to work, is it?

Native French speakers comprise little more than 1 per cent of the world’s population, leaving it 18th in the global league table beside Korean and the Indian language Marathi.

But President Macron, well known for his ceaseless political ambition, has turned his attention to making French the first language of Africa and even the most spoken tongue in the world.

As it happens a cousin is a translator at The Hague. French being one of his languages. And he will wax lyrical about exactly why this will not happen. Academie Francaise. For the French spoken not in France is, as with Singlish and all the rest, diverging from that on the Mainland. To the point that trials are translated by people who have proven competence in, say, Congolese French, or CAF etc, rather than “French.”

His point being that the AF is trying to nail the language to one version, something that just doesn’t happen with dispersed languages.

You know, I don’t think much of Babbel

Con questa app creata da più di 100 esperti linguistici riuscirete a parlare una lingua straniera in 3 settimane

Negli uffici di Babbel c’è un team di esperti linguistici che lavora per voi per creare la migliore esperienza di apprendimento possibile. Siete curiosi di sapere perché funziona?

That’s an ad which Salon has shown me. For those without Italian, a very rough translation.

100 experts have created this app which will teach you a foreign language in 3 months. The official Babbel team of linguistic experts have worked for you to create the best experience possible. And so on and blah blah.

OK, fair enough. But then, well, a reasonable assumption is that they’re looking at where I am and then showing me the ad in my local language. There’s not much point in showing an ad in Italian to someone who doesn’t speak that language (and no, recent surfing hasn’t taken me anywhere that might indicate I do speak Italian).

The local language where I am is Portuguese, Italy is 1,000 miles away.

And how much weight should we put on the value of a language app that cannot even show ads in the right language?

Punctuation matters

Pompous Stupidity

Oliver Kamm…….

Not the best opening for a piece complaining about word redundancy there T Newman. However:

Now the article he links to is a bit crap, but so is Kamm’s dismissal of it. The biggest error the columnist makes is equating stylistic preferences with grammar, which despite Kamm’s complaints about people doing this has nonetheless gifted him a regular column with which to share them.

Regardless of the other points the columnist makes, he is right to advise against using the term “very unique”. If I saw such a pairing I’d think the author ought to have found a better description, or – if it was unique – to drop the “very”. Kamm’s argument seems to be that if a famous writer has used it, then everybody else can too. This is idiotic. In Charlotte Brontë’s case, the overall quality of her output allows her to use pretty much any term she likes. But not everyone is Charlotte Brontë and if their work does not match her standard, they have less leeway.

Well, yes, but:

“That’s very unique”


“That’s very, unique

Have rather different meanings. Punctuation matters….

The Germans do indeed have a problem here

One of Germany’s most prominent politcians has launched an oustpoken attack on the increasing use of the English language in every day life, and called for a crackdown.

“Co-existence can only work in Germany if we all speak German,” Jens Spahn, seen by many as a potential successor to Angela Merkel, said. “We can and should expect this from every immigrant.”

Mr Spahn, currently junior finance minister, reserved his greatest anger for the growing number of people who work in the German capital despite speaking no German.

“It drives me up the wall the way waiters in Berlin restaurants only speak English,” he told Neue Osnabrücker Zeitung newspaper.

Comparing Germans’ often relaxed attitude to the fierce French protectiveness of their language, he added: “You would never find this kind of lunacy in Paris.”

The thing being that the very idea of “Germany” is based on language. Hitler took it all a little far with that talk of “Volk” but there really was a strong 19th century movement that people of the same language were the natural national unit. As with Czechs, Slovaks, Poles and so on. Germany rather became Germany, with a lot of help from Prussian designs, as a result of that underlying idea.

To find that language isn’t quite working as the binding force must hurt to some extent therefore.