Umm….

She accepts the relationship was consensual but said: “I was looking for help and he took advantage of me. He abused his power.”

The relationship ended after two months when Lord Ahmed told her he would not leave his wife, she said.

“I genuinely did believe that he had feelings for me, I’m just so stupid… and I believed that he was going to help me,” she said.

In her interview with Newsnight, Ms Zaman said she feels exploited by Lord Ahmed because she was suffering from anxiety and depression.

The woman is 43 years old.

Didn’t we have a phrase for this?

Something strange is going on in India. Women are becoming more educated and confident. Pre-marital sex is on the rise – a hotel chain called StayUncle offers rooms for an hour or two to couples seeking somewhere to have sex. But at the same time, so are the number of women alleging rape on false promise of marriage.

According to the National Crime Records Bureau, a total of 38,947 rape cases were reported in India in 2016. In 10,068 cases – about a quarter – the women claimed it was rape on false promise of marriage. In Andhra Pradesh state, 45% of all rape cases filed in the past two years fell into the false marriage category.

That’s “breach of promise” rather than rape, isn’t it?

Us worrying about it all being rather before my time so if anyone knows how it did used to work?

Even more troubling is that the notion of sex constituting rape if a man “reneges” on a promise of marriage is not in the penal code. It has evolved on a case-by-case basis as a result of judges choosing to interpret the notion of “consent” in this fashion. As a consequence, men can be charged with rape if they falsely obtain consent for sex by promising to marry a woman and then changing their mind.

How different from our own current system where the bird can simply allege rape if she just didn’t like the experience very much.

The rest of the piece is actually rather remarkable. It’s, for The Guardian – actually, for anywhere – an entirely reasonable discussion of the subject of rape. I don’t mean that everyone’s got to agree with what’s happening etc, but the reporting is pretty straight. There’s a problem here, this is what it is. Men aren’t the ogres, why the women are making false allegations is explained. And something must be done other than just believing the complainant.

Guess you can only talk reasonably about such subjects when they’re occurring in another country.

For the teenage lad in me

Duchess of Sussex writes messages of support on bananas for sex workers

Yes, I know, they’re bananas, cheap and healthy fruit to go into care boxes for those out on the streets.

But still. Bananas. Sex workers. Tee hee.

The Duchess, who visited a charity which helps women break free from sex work, homelessness and addiction, resolved to send a personal, handwritten message to those in need.

During a tour of the kitchen at One25, a charity in Bristol, she was seized with inspiration, asking for a felt tipped pen to draw hearts and notes, including the words: “You are strong”, “You are loved”, “You are brave”, “You are special”.

That’s just ludicrous of course.

Sound advice

“There are only a few things that should go in your vagina and vegetables generally aren’t one of them.”

Although where that leaves the average teenage bloke trying to get a legover is not explained.

Sailor hires tarts

One of those things we might think isn’t all that extraordinary:

The commander of the US Navy’s longest serving submarine has demoted for hiring prostitutes in the Philippines.

Captain Travis Zettel commanded the nuclear-powered attack submarine USS Bremerton.

According to an investigation by the US Naval Criminal Investigative Service the captain told a fellow sailor he had “ordered ten girls to arrive at the hotel” while they were ashore in Subic Bay.

He was later seen with about 10 “provocatively dressed females outside the front door of the hotel,” according to a witness.

An investigation was begun following a tip from a sailor to an anonymous Naval hotline.

According to the report Zettel admitted “culpability in the payment of female accompaniment” during the incident last March.

He was relieved of duty in August due to “a loss in confidence in his ability to command” and reassigned to a job with a different submarine squadron.

The decision to relieve him of duty was announced at the time but no details were given.

Ah, but this is different. An officer – the captain no less – does not do so. Quite apart from anything else he’s reducing the supply for his crew – the great lesson of all military life, the men come first.

Umm, yes

Underwear revolution: how lingerie grew up and put women’s comfort first

There’s always been that division into comfortable and something of a display for the lads. Or, as is more likely, something to please the lady as she imagines the display.

The idea that underthings have only recently become comfortable is just nonsense.

An old but incorrect – the words don’t quite mean this even if there would be an association with the idea – division would be between underwear and lingerie. The first the functional stuff, the second the lacy bits.

Seems reasonable

Potential jurors hold “alarming” views about sexual violence, a major report into attitudes towards rape has revealed.

A survey commissioned by the End Violence Against Women Coalition found that a third of people in the UK think it isn’t usually rape if a woman is pressured into having sex but there is no physical violence.

Almost a quarter of the 4,000 people questioned in the Attitudes to Sexual Consent survey carried out by Yougov believed sex without consent in long-term relationships was usually not rape. Laws against rape in marriage have been in place since 1991.

The results came as Jeremy Corbyn warned that the country was facing a “rape crisis”, and as MPs welcomed a survivor of Rotherham’s child exploitation scandal to the Commons.

The report revealed a stark generational gap in attitudes – with more than a third of over-65s believing that in most cases sex without consent with your wife or partner was not rape, compared with just 16% of 16- to 24-year-olds.

We’ve not actually had laws against marital rape since 1991. What the Lords found was that the exception to rape – the general consent to conjugal bits given by the fact of marriage – wasn’t actually an exception which existed in law. But pendantry.

But that peoples’ attitude, beliefs about, something reflect what reality was when they were young and learning? The surprise here is what?

Interesting numbers

These examples are telling because they point to the importance of different social norms in mediating gendered preferences and behavior. They also introduce another piece in our puzzle: all the culturally recognized incidences of pre-modern transgender individuals mentioned above involve natal males who transition to female. In the DSM-5, prevalence rates of gender dysphoria are estimated at 0.005 percent to 0.014 percent of the population for natal males, and 0.002 percent to 0.003 percent for natal females. The higher prevalence of males exhibiting the condition is likely related to a higher percentage of male homosexuals worldwide (3 to 4 percent) as compared to lesbians (1 to 2 percent). While these rates are the subject of debate, the higher ratio of male homosexuals as compared to women is a consistent finding across surveys.

There’s a lot of noise about 0.05% of he population isn’t there?

Interesting

Rapist fathers should not have rights over their victims’ children

Presumably they don’t have the CSA after them to pay either?

Or doesn’t it work like that? We’re to create a class of fathers who must hand over the cash but have no other rights are we?

Seriously?

Australian rugby was plunged into embarrassment on Friday after it emerged that Adam Ashley-Cooper and Kurtley Beale were not considered for selection to face England because they invited three women back to their Newport hotel room a fortnight ago.

Consenting adults attempting to get laid is a no no these days?

Perhaps we should move back to the older hypocrisy which was that it was fine with the sort of woman who would and deeply scandalous with the sort who wouldn’t? Tho’, obviously, how scandalous is consent?

Presumably he appeared as a swan to them

Or a bull.

A South Korean cult leader was convicted on Thursday of the multiple rape of eight female followers – some of whom believed he was God – and jailed for 15 years.

Pastor Lee Jaerock’s victims were “unable to resist as they were subject to the accused’s absolute religious authority”, judge Chung Moon-sung told the Seoul Central District Court.

Community service among Johns

With the 2015 murder of Daria Pionko, a prostitute in the zone, Jenni carried a walkie-talkie in case she needed to call for help. Despite this, she was robbed and beaten by an acquaintance of one of her clients and she was once almost abducted.

“A guy in a car approached me as I was walking down the road. I saw rope and tape on the floor. He tried pulling me in. I was wrestling to get away.

“Men in cars, obviously looking for girls, stopped and chased him off.”

It’s the sort of thing which makes you think that sex slavery isn’t quite a thing. Not if the punters are chasing off would be abductors….

Affairs? On Grindr?

Pharmacist accused of murdering wife was having affairs on Grindr, court hears

That doesn’t sound quite right.

A pharmacist accused of murdering his wife had been cheating on her with men he met on the Grindr dating app, a court has been told.

Unlikely to be having anything as constant as an affair on Grindr, surely?

Which is worse?

Donald Trump played a “central role” in hush money payments to a porn star and Playboy model before the 2016 election, the Wall Street Journal reported.

According to the report Mr Trump worked closely with publisher David Pecker, using the National Enquirer magazine to pay off the women.

The president has previously denied involvement but the newspaper claimed he was closely engaged, and directed, the effort to pay the women – porn star Stormy Daniels and former Playboy model Karen McDougal – not to make their stories public.

Bloke fucks quite obviously adult and willing women. Bloke oppresses the intern? One is possibly the greater infidelity, the other would appear to be much more of a breach of modern mores – it’s all about power structures etc.

Missing the point a bit, no?

Congrats, Idris Elba: but next year, let’s have a less macho sexiest man alive
Caspar Salmon

Sigh, macho is just another word we use to describe that male sexiness.

Sue, there are indeed other tastes out there.

This can feel surprising in the era of the internet, when gay twink culture has fed into straight desire, with men such as Timothée Chalamet (age 22) hitting the scene. This sort of desire, which abstracts men from status up to a point, and privileges a gaze that is unafraid to objectify, is nowhere to be seen in the People list.

Seriously? A look, a desire even, which is by definition about boys not men is to be used a the standard by which men are judged sexy?