Community service among Johns

With the 2015 murder of Daria Pionko, a prostitute in the zone, Jenni carried a walkie-talkie in case she needed to call for help. Despite this, she was robbed and beaten by an acquaintance of one of her clients and she was once almost abducted.

“A guy in a car approached me as I was walking down the road. I saw rope and tape on the floor. He tried pulling me in. I was wrestling to get away.

“Men in cars, obviously looking for girls, stopped and chased him off.”

It’s the sort of thing which makes you think that sex slavery isn’t quite a thing. Not if the punters are chasing off would be abductors….

Affairs? On Grindr?

Pharmacist accused of murdering wife was having affairs on Grindr, court hears

That doesn’t sound quite right.

A pharmacist accused of murdering his wife had been cheating on her with men he met on the Grindr dating app, a court has been told.

Unlikely to be having anything as constant as an affair on Grindr, surely?

Which is worse?

Donald Trump played a “central role” in hush money payments to a porn star and Playboy model before the 2016 election, the Wall Street Journal reported.

According to the report Mr Trump worked closely with publisher David Pecker, using the National Enquirer magazine to pay off the women.

The president has previously denied involvement but the newspaper claimed he was closely engaged, and directed, the effort to pay the women – porn star Stormy Daniels and former Playboy model Karen McDougal – not to make their stories public.

Bloke fucks quite obviously adult and willing women. Bloke oppresses the intern? One is possibly the greater infidelity, the other would appear to be much more of a breach of modern mores – it’s all about power structures etc.

Missing the point a bit, no?

Congrats, Idris Elba: but next year, let’s have a less macho sexiest man alive
Caspar Salmon

Sigh, macho is just another word we use to describe that male sexiness.

Sue, there are indeed other tastes out there.

This can feel surprising in the era of the internet, when gay twink culture has fed into straight desire, with men such as Timothée Chalamet (age 22) hitting the scene. This sort of desire, which abstracts men from status up to a point, and privileges a gaze that is unafraid to objectify, is nowhere to be seen in the People list.

Seriously? A look, a desire even, which is by definition about boys not men is to be used a the standard by which men are judged sexy?

The idea that I would defend Jenni Murray

In normal times I’d not do so, she being the embodiment of all that I dislike about our current establishment and their views. However:

Jenni Murray has pulled out of a talk at Oxford University after LGBTQ+ students claimed that she is “transphobic” and attempted to “no platform” her.

As I understand it she says that tans women aren’t women in an important sense. They’ve not grown up with the experience of being female and thus are, whatever they are, female in a different manner from those who have.

Which seems an entirely reasonable position to take. Lived and learned experience is an important part of the shaping of a person, no?

Apparently 1 in 200 are paedophiles

The viewing of indecent images of children is so prevalent that people probably know someone within their circle who does it, Cressida Dick, the Metropolitan Police Commissioner said today.

Human society tends to be organised in over lapping groups of the 200 known to any one specific person. Thus if everyone knows one then incidence will be around that one in two hundred – 0.5%.

Which does seem extraordinarily high, about the same as the claimed incidence of trans, isn’t it?

If we include hebephiles, ephebephiles etc, then perhaps but actual paedophiles?

The law is what the law is

And that’s entirely fine. But there is something, well, something, about this:

A gay sauna has found itself in an equality row after asking a transgender man without a penis to leave their nude bath house.

The, nude bath house describes itself as “sex friendly” so, it’s that sort of gay bath house, not a bath house that happens to cater to a gay clientele. Which is, some might think, where gomadal arrangements become the important distinction. BTW, the place is only licenced for “men”.

The bit that really amuses:

The 26-year-old, whose identity is unknown, attempted to use the sauna with a friend on Monday night before another customer informed staff that “a woman was using the venue”.

With racism etc, it’s how other people feel that defines, not the person doing the doing. Under that definition that’s a woman therefore. Alternatively, if gender is self-defined then why isn’t racism?

Well done Zoe, well done

In talking about French Presidents Zoe Williams gives us this:

You would think it would be really easy to govern a country and have a high-functioning relationship, since all of those problems that regularly capsize a marriage – infidelity, addiction, debt, yoga – you wouldn’t have time for anyway, unless you were a leader from the 1970s.

Can anyone recall a French President who didn’t have the time for infidelity?

We’ve not heard from Nancy for a bit, have we?

The billionaire was at the centre of more lurid claims yesterday. The Sun on Sunday reported allegations that he had offered Nancy Dell’Olio £1 million to spend the night with him. The Italian lawyer, 57, who first came to attention for dating the former England manager Sven-Goran Eriksson, said that the alleged proposal made in 2010 at a nightclub left her feeling “shocked and humiliated”.

“Philip pawed at my wrist and told me, ‘If you come with me now to my apartment, this night will be worth a million’. He was tipsy, but I felt he wasn’t joking,” she said. “It was disgraceful. I have sex with who I want to, when I decide, for my pleasure.”

What are the odds on if she’d said yes the price dropping to £5? Sir Philip being a cultured man who knows his GBS*.

*Maybe, might just be the famous name the story has migrated to.

There’s a step being missed here

Free to parents, it claims to tackle what Dines calls the “public health crisis of the digital age”. She backs up her claims with hard facts and figures. For a start, a third of all young people under the age of 12 have seen pornography; about 20% of sexts are photos of girls under the age of 15; and 35% of all internet downloads are porn. Also, children have access to a mobile phone at earlier ages than they did five years ago. Today, an estimated 25% of six-year-olds in the UK use a mobile phone, and the average age in the US is 10. This means that large groups of young children are just a click or two away from free hardcore porn.

The missing bit is the proof that those numbers show that there’s a problem, whether in public health or anything else.

Over the long term we might in fact find that this is all terribly helpful. There was a time when all children – near all OK – were raised on a farm so any introduction to sex would have been when the sow went off to get covered*. At least the demos today are of the correct species. Often enough. At least there are fewer girls wondering why it’s not curly.

*There are, by some accounts, urban areas today where pubs, lipstick and a good night out serve much the same function, vide all those photos of gannin’ doon the toon.

Interesting but dangerous

Indian government minister MJ Akbar filed a defamation suit against one of at least 10 women accusing him of sexual harassment on Monday, calling her allegations false and malicious.

The lawsuit, a copy of which was reviewed by Reuters, names journalist Priya Ramani as the sole accused and says that she “intentionally put forward malicious, fabricated and salacious” allegations to harm his reputation.

Oscar Wilde made this potential mistake…..

A proper anatomy exam then

Fowlkes, who taught anatomy and physiology at Lockhart High School, was accused of engaging in “sexual content with the intent to arouse or gratify the sexual desire” of the student in March 2017.

Fowlkes was charged with having an improper relationship with the lad after turning herself in to cops in March last year.

An alternative theory

Size really does matter when it comes to fertility as a new study suggests men who are infertile are also less well endowed.

Having a shorter appendage was more common in men who were struggling to conceive than in those with other genital health problems. The research, to be presented at the American Society for Reproductive Medicine conference in Colorado this week, is the first ever to link penile length with fertility.

It found that on average, men who were infertile were around one centimetre shorter than their fertile counterparts. Those without reproductive issues had an average length of 13.4 cm while those in the infertile group were 12.5cm.

Fertility is rarely a one shot issue.

Could be that larger – up to a size, an optimal one – just gets more shots at it.

This seems entirely sensible

I’ve been married 27 years to a man I love very much. We’d always been happy and our sex life was passionate until 10 years ago, when he announced he wanted to live as a woman. There was no warning, no discussion, and I was shell-shocked; I told him that were he to have surgery, the marriage would be over.

We eventually arrived at a truce, whereby he agreed not to have surgery and I am trying to live with the way he presents himself, which is stereotypically female – using makeup, dresses, tights and a bra. I find this hard to deal with; although I was very attracted to my partner as a man, I find it impossible to be attracted to him as a woman.

I also recall a journalist (HuffPo? Verge? Summat) who had been a woman living with her wife and transitioned to male. The wife then took a girlfriend.

Maybe, you know, the wife was a lesbian who didn’t find men attractive? Possible?

Yes, great, why not?

As usual, someone gets a twee idea and doesn’t think it through:

According to Wednesday Martin, if you want to know how early humans organised their sex lives, before prudery, habit and agrarian production got in the way, you should take a look at bonobos. Once known as pygmy chimps, these primates are the closest thing we have to a living ancestor. Certainly, they resemble us more than the common chimp. They are fine-boned, with pink lips, proportionately long legs on which they can walk upright and hair that falls into a neat centre parting.

However that prissy hair-do is misleading. Bonobos are, as is well known, shameless sexual gluttons, especially the females. They wander around in a girl gang and, when they fancy a bloke, go up and put their arm around him. If he moves away the female follows him for a bit. Pretty soon, though, she gets exasperated by his coyness and turns to one of her girlfriends instead. Together they have a lovely time, rubbing their enlarged clitorises together, with murmurs of pleasurable excitement. If a boy wanders up at this point, he’s likely to be seen off with an exasperated nip for being far too late to the party.

Martin argues that we should all be a bit more bonobo (minus the nipping, obviously). Our cousins can teach us a lot about how human sexuality operated before it was corralled into an essentialist narrative about men being “naturally” polygamous while women “instinctively” seek out their one and only. Of course, this call to revision is not uniquely Martin’s. Although she has a PhD in anthropology from Yale, she remains a journalist, reporting and synthesising the work of such pioneering fieldworkers as Sarah Blaffer Hrdy, Meredith Chivers, Alicia Walker, Cacilda Jethá and many more.

Chesterton’s Fence. Why don’t we do that? Why don’t we have herds, with the one male covering multiple females, the majority of men never passing on genes (actually, the majority of all men never have done). Why not like lions where the stud taking over the pride kills the cubs of his predecessor? Why this specific arrangement we have?

Some of Martin’s authorities, such as Brooke Scelza of UCLA, work with human subjects. Scelza’s research on the semi-nomadic Himba tribe of Namibia provides a window into alternative ways of dealing with what anthropologists call “extra-dyadic sexuality” (AKA consensual cheating). With the Himba men periodically away at remote cattle stations, their wives keep busy by “going to the far place to collect water” – another way of saying they bunk off to meet their lover. If a baby is the result, no one sees any reason to fuss: the child will simply have two dads (AKA partible paternity). Indeed, Scelza reveals that those Himba women who are particularly keen on going to collect water end up with more and healthier children than those few who to decide to stay “true” to their husbands. Might we actually be looking at a state of affairs, Martin asks, where, from an evolutionary point of view, a woman’s insistence on monogamy starts to seem just the tiniest bit selfish?

Yep, it is selfish. The reason for that being that a bloke who thinks he’s raising his own children brings along with him the resources he can generate to support his own children. Which increases the chances of survival of those children – a selfish act by that mother. Both in her own children gaining those resources and those of some other woman not.

Give up the claim to those resources and why not shag as you wish? Many men will be happy to oblige.

The why is important, d’ye see?

Lessee now

I was dating a boy I really liked, so when another classmate made a pass at me, I explained that I was going with someone else, and I turned him down. The next morning, my “friend” – let’s call him Rat – told classmates that I’d slept with him. Since I had declined to have sex with the boy I actually liked, the ugly rumor made me look like a lying hypocrite. Hurt and humiliated, my boyfriend promptly broke up with me, leaving me heartbroken and bewildered. I hadn’t even done what I was accused of doing – and yet that didn’t protect me from public scorn, let alone the loss of my first love.

But there was worse to come. When I started college, I was 16 years old. On my first day, I met a sophomore whose blue eyes were speckled with gold. Soon we were spending every free moment together. He knew I was a virgin, and he was respectful of my wishes – until his roommate went home to Boston for the weekend. In a diabolical coincidence, the roommate was invited to a party where he met Rat, who was attending college there. When he learned the name of Rat’s hometown in New York, he asked if Rat knew me – whereupon Rat gleefully regaled him with a sordid account of what a tramp I had been in high school.

The roommate was astonished, because he knew me as the clueless virgin who wouldn’t sleep with his friend. But of course he came back to our university in Philadelphia and told all his fraternity brothers I was a deceitful slut. Like my high school boyfriend, my college boyfriend responded by ending our relationship.

Not yet 17 and still a virgin, I had now been slandered up and down the eastern seaboard by a single false rumor spread by one boy who managed to wreck my reputation in high school and in college, which had in turn cost me both my high school boyfriend and my college boyfriend.

And? And what?

The losses left me reeling, but the emotional blows were greatly exacerbated by the fear they generated. The power of malicious gossip was terrifying; even when it wasn’t true, it could ruin your life.

The pain of being shamed that way has never left me. Fifty years later, I couldn’t bear the thought of going to my high school reunion. This month, when I was invited to the latest get-together, I stayed home once again.

Whut?

It seems to be so easy for men to forget the damage they’ve wrought. Do they know that the women they hurt will never be able to forget, let alone heal?

Err, teenage dating? What are we supposed to do about this?

Oh, and when do we get to hear from the male side of this? Not the male side o this particular story, but all teenage girls have always ad everywhere been just perfect in their treatment of teenage boys, right?