We\’ll Have to Shoot These Monkeys I\’m Afraid.

Male macaque monkeys "pay" for sex with females by grooming them, scientists have revealed.

The availability of females even affects the "price". Where there are fewer females, males are forced to groom their partners for up to twice as long before they are able to have sex, the research found.

For of course, the purchase of sex from females is to be made illegal.

But the reason for shooting them is not that they are breaking the law, oh no, it\’s that they are making Harriet Harman look stupid, and we can\’t have that now, can we, she does it so well herself. Ably assisted by Dennis MacShane, of course.

Jennifer Siebel

Bit of a shocker here about Jennifer Siebel:

San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom and his girlfriend, actress Jennifer Siebel, became engaged in Hawaii over the weekend, knowledgeable sources said Monday.

San Francisco has a heterosexual mayor?

Who knew?

Iain Dale\’s Sex Life

The last thing I do before my head hits the pillow is check email or approve blog comments. You might think that\’s sad, but there you go. And it takes me approximately one minute to fall asleep.

Exciting, isn\’t it?

Errm, OK, Zoe

This is female sexuality packaged up as a product geared to generate profit: capitalism with tits, basically.

In a society where sex and sexuality are still oriented from a sexist, capitalist perspective, it\’s almost normal then for women to place value on how they are viewed by men, simultaneously objectifying and undermining their own sexuality in the process, as Ariel Levy highlighted.

This viewpoint is now practically ubiquitous: many women\’s attitudes around sex stem from the profit-driven perspective and they see and describe their own sexual desire as just an adjunct to the male experience – just like that young woman at the party.

What\’s the answer to this? How can we teach young women to place value on their own pleasure and their own experience? How can we teach young men that mutual respect and appreciation, not to mention mutual consent, are the pre-requisites to good sex? How can we ensure that sex is seen as something healthy and positive and fun, and not just a means to make money or a way for women to win male validation?

I believe we need to challenge the old-fashioned views of male and female sexuality where sex is something to be obtained by men, from women; we need to reject the sexist and offensive imagery in porn and replace it with a more progressive view of sexuality; we need to oppose the commodification of sexuality and refuse to buy into it; and most importantly we need to properly educate young people about sex and relationships so that they learn the value of each other, as well as the pleasure they can share.

My only question here is how? I\’m rather of the impression that the current state of affairs (sorry!) is a result of the last attempt to replace the prevailing ethos with a more progressive view of sexuality.

Christmas Party Advice

If you are going to stray at the office Christmas party do try and make sure that she you are straying from is not Thai.

Or that if she is, you\’re in Thailand where they can (sometimes) deal with such things.

Slash n\’ Sex

Presented without comment:

Former GUNS N\’ ROSES guitarist SLASH is tired of dating porn stars, because the sex is too exhibitionist.
The 42-year-old rocker – born Saul Hudson – has previously dated a number of porn stars, and famously missed out on bedding X-rated actress Traci Lords because he was too intoxicated on crack cocaine.
But he admits life in the bedroom can become repetitive.
He says, "The sex (with a porn star) is great and very uninhibited. The lows were getting too much of the same thing. It starts to feel like you\’re making a movie every time you have sex."

OK, a comment. Could this be the onset of middle age?

Heh

Suffice to say that I\’m reminded of a newspaper cartoon that circulated a few years ago. It featured a mum and a dad and their superbaby, posing together. “Thank God we found the sperm of that astronaut,” the mother said. “Thank God we found the eggs of that supermodel,” the dad said. The superbaby, meanwhile, was looking up at its doting creators. Above its head was a thought bubble: “Who the hell are these stupid, ugly people?”

Zoe at Erotica

Zoe Margolis goes to the Erotica Show:

And yet, everywhere one looked there were women. One could hardly avoid the tits and arses on display: on almost every stall were women dressed in little more than underwear, handing out leaflets, T-shirts or DVDs. But it was not the flesh on display that I found objectionable: it was the disproportionate amount of female nudity.

I\’m straight. I like to have sex with men. I enjoy looking at naked men. I don\’t think I am that unusual in my tastes, but at Erotica – as with the rest of the sex industry – I found myself feeling at odds with what was on offer.

"Where are all the men?" I found myself muttering as yet another young woman gyrated her hips and jiggled her breasts as she stood on a boat (promoting a porn site – of course). "Why are there no hot men doing the same?" The only men I could see were either paying visitors, or working alongside the half-naked women – but fully dressed. So I went in search of male nudity. I sought it out in the hope that perhaps, for once, as a consumer, I might be treated equally.

Does anyone else think that she\’s becoming rather a one trick* pony? Getting into something of a rut**?

 

* Well, for a given meaning of trick, obviously.

** Bad pun, sorry.

Women\’s Corsetry

I know, I know, just the sort of serious subject you expect here on a Monday morning.

The quest for the perfect figure is causing droves of British women to resort to wearing the throwback girdle.

Really?

But its ability to reduce the waist by up to two dress sizes has seen it return.

Hmm, can we turn the truth in advertising people on them? Or is your, at the moment of disrobing, ending up with rather more than you bargained for to be seen as an added bonus rather than deception?

Kylie Minogue apparently donned a bit of extra support under her figure-hugging black dress at the Q Awards last month. Accepting her Q Idol award, she said: "I would like to thank those of you who continue to support me – including my dress!"

Denise Fraser, a buyer for the website Figleaves.com, said: "In the past, shapewear was something that your mother wore.

"But now there is no longer that barrier."

Hmm. Actually, given that Kylie Minogue is now 39 or so, she rather fits the "mother" demographic, doesn\’t she?

 

 

More Royal Gay Sex Scandal

Isn\’t this all becoming fascinating?

THE aide at the centre of an alleged blackmail plot against a member of the royal family has claimed he also had a homosexual liaison with the royal’s father and a Tory MP. The claims are made on recordings seized by police.

Given that we all now know who the junior royal is we therefore also know who the father is. And that\’s an allegation I think most unlikely, given the known predeliction of that gentleman for the ladies. And as to who the MP is, well, we\’ve actually got quite a number of out MPs these days, even in the Tory party. The thought that one of other of them might in fact have sex, might indeed have a boyfriend, is hardly shocking now, is it?

On the other hand, bonking both the father and the son does sound like taking this family values thing a little too far.

Or would the accusation be social climbing (although between a Tory MP and a royal aide, hard to tell who would be slumming and who climbing, really)?

The Last Taboo?

Slightly odd way of putting it:

A female truant officer who admitted having unprotected sex with a 15-year-old boy was jailed yesterday.

Glenda McKenzie, 44, a married education officer, started the relationship when she kissed the boy as she drove him to school. When the teenager ended the relationship, McKenzie sent him a succession of text messages in which she said that she loved him and threatened to kill herself.

The judge at Hull Crown Court told McKenzie, who has a teenage daughter, that she had broken “one of the last sexual taboos” and sentenced her to 12 months in jail.

Is not using a condom now that last taboo?

Reminds me of the idiot who wrote in to The Guardian when little Leo was born. "What sort of message, what sort of role model, is the Prime Minister when he has unprotected sex?".

With his wife? Sheesh.

Royal Gay Scandal

This Royal gay scandal is all most annoying. Mr. Google is sadly not offering up some foreign source that tells us who it is that was being (or attempted to be) blackmailed. The best we can get is that it concerns a "minor royal" and that\’s all over the BBC and other places.

How minor is minor though? Freddie Windsor? Zara getting it on with Kate?

Come along now, what\’s the internet for if not to tell us such things?

 

Rising STDS

Oh Dear:

Cases of sexually transmitted diseases are soaring while cuts are made to screening and treatment services, doctors have warned.

Well, the Irish experience was pointed out. Banning smoking in pubs did lead to a rise in STDs there.

Sexblogging

So I\’m reading all of these sex blogs and it occurs to me that none of them quite come up to the stardards of a Reformation nun:

I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the iron\’s point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails; when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also, and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God. The pain was so great, that it made me moan; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it. The soul is satisfied now with nothing less than God. The pain is not bodily, but spiritual; though the body has its share in it. It is a caressing of love so sweet which now takes place between the soul and God, that I pray God of His goodness to make him experience it who may think that I am lying.

 

Yusuf Islam

A tale from the past:

"A lot of Englishmen have this thing about English schoolgirls… He took me to Marks & Spencer, and we went into the section where they sold school uniforms. We started play-acting and XXXX told the saleslady, \’I have to buy this little girl a school uniform, she\’s the daughter of one of my friends, can you fit her please?\’ Here was this 21-year-old kid with this however-the-hell-old-I-looked young girl. I was supposed to be going into seventh or eighth grade, but must have looked about 11.
Groupie: Patti D\’Arbanville

Controlling Prostitution

The dividing line between an escort agency and the control of prostitution is a pretty thin one, I think we\’re all aware of that. However, this line from the court report of a trial did raise a smile:

The barrister said that while there was no suggestion that any of the prostitutes were coerced, they were nevertheless “exploited”, with the various rules “strictly enforced” and the “ultimate sanction of dismissal” awaiting the disobedient.

What? You mean that if a worker didn\’t do what they were told then they might be fired?

Shocking, don\’t you think?

Homosexuality Not a Disease

So says a famous medical expert:

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, has said that homosexuality is not a "disease" on the eve of a crucial decision that could split the Anglican Church worldwide.

Good, glad we\’ve got that sorted then.