Well, yes, OK

Put our colonial history on the curriculum – then we’ll understand who we really are
Maya Goodfellow

Sure, why not?

My mum came to the UK from India in 1973, after a chunk of time spent in Uganda, when she was only 13.

Oh, you mean we should learn your colonial history. Why?

Like what?

Cultural appropriation is the claimed act of taking from another race, nationality or identity group’s hallmarks and heritage, and the exploitation of these features by those outside the given group.

The English language? Only Hindu can use zero? Europe’s got to go back to IV and VIII or can only Italians use those? Those not descended from celts must stop wearing trousers? Everyone not from Stroud must stop using power machine made cloth?

Well, yes, there is another English meaning

New Zealanders have expressed disappointment at the decision to fine England for their v-shaped formation for the All Blacks haka in their Rugby World Cup semi-final, with many fans praising them for their dignity and dramatic flair.

On Saturday night, England delighted fans in both camps when players arranged themselves to face the All Blacks. The V – which many inside New Zealand took to stand for “victory” –

But the underlying point. The haka isn’t some cultural wibble like haspirating hs or not. It’s a challenge to battle.

To which there should be a response other than milling around then kicking a ball at them.

War with France it is then

A tiny British island was “invaded” in the name of a French ‘king’ with the group raising the Patagonian flag and painting a toilet block in their national colours.

The intruders approached The Minquiers, a group of rocks nine miles south of Jersey, in an eight metre boat at “low light” just after 5pm on Wednesday in order to carry out their mission undetected.

They used a double extension ladder to hoist up the blue, white and green colours of Patagonia, according to local hut owners Paul Ostroumoff and Julian Mallinson, who arrived as the boat was leaving the shore.

This isn’t the first time either. Time to send in the gunboats.

Paris is on a river, right?

Should be said though that the island in question is not part of the UK, but is part of the Crown as a section of the Duchy of Normandy. Thus it’s the Queen’s rather than British, navy which needs to go do this. But since the British one is the Queen’s we’re OK there too.

Alternatively Ritchie might be so desperate for vermine that’s he’ll undertake the job single handed.

Modern travel

From B in Swindon:

You probably have more chance of a different culture driving to the middle of Wiltshire than flying thousands of miles to another city.

Especially Wiltshire says this Bathonian. Monkton Farleigh’s a strange, strange, place. As for Midford…..

Howdahs are to be illegal?

Sirsly?

Elephant riding holidays abroad offered by British travel companies could become illegal under plans being considered by Defra.

Senior sources at the department said they were seeking the best legislative route to banning the “appalling” holidays, with plans to hold a consultation into banning it.

British holiday companies currently offer experiences abroad in countries including Sri Lanka, Thailand and India, where travelers can ride elephants or watch them perform “tricks”.

However, animal rights campaigners argue that these practices are cruel, as elephants are frequently “broken in” by being beaten with steel hooks so they become compliant.

They are also often not kept in appropriate enclosures…

The best description of this is the reappearance of colonialism. Darkie foreigners must do as the British middle classes demand.

This is about Americans don’t forget

Social class can be determined within just seven words, and it could have major implications in job interviews, researchers from Yale University believe.

In a new study, 274 people with hiring experience were asked to listen to audio recordings, or read transcripts, from the pre-interview discussions of people who applied for a lab manager position at the university.

The hiring managers were asked to assess the candidate’s professional qualities, starting salary, signing on bonus and social class, without reading CVs.

The findings showed that within the first seven words, hirers had made snap judgements of the candidates, based on class, which were later reflected in decisions to hire, as well as salary and bonus levels.

Accent is rather less important over there than it is over here. Hmm, maybe not quite right, perhaps less variable is better? In England, certainly, you can spot someone to within 5 miles by their accent. Unless it’s RP of course and American doesn’t quite have that. In Germany the varied accents/dialects aren’t mutually intelligible across Lander lines. Italian isn’t even a real language, what we think is is just the Florentine version of it.

And of course class and geography mix in all cases.

Whether that will translate to different wages in quite the same way is interesting. For the old days in the City the lads with the fast working class accents (Cockneys, obviously) were usually very much better paid than the poshos. Generally speaking that is – the Cockneys were there as the traders, on talent, the poshos on connections and to man the front desks, take people to lunch. Pay reflected who was making the money. As our own bordello manager will be able to tell us…..

That social divide

One of the two activists who climbed on top of a train at Canning town can exclusively be revealed as Mark Ovland, who had already been arrested and released “several times” this week.

The 36-year-old has been identified as the man chased along a train roof before being pulled down onto the platform.

He describes himself as a full-time Extinction Rebellion protestor who gave up his Buddhist studies to devote himself to climate change action.

Can’t think of any grants available for Buddhist studies. So, a man of private means then.

Telling people in Canning Town they can’t get to work.

Yep, that’ll work well.

One advantage to Imperial units

A sense of scale.

It’s terribly easy to get lost among strings of zeroes. As we endlessly see with the papers confusing billion for million etc.

But we’re measuring something in ounces, it’s small. In tonnes it’s large. Pints is easy to envisage, we’ve all actually seen someone holding one.

Decalitres? Sure, we can work it out but it’s not immediate in the same sense. And the number who get confused between deca and hecto litres…..

And sure it’s just an oldie casting back to something in childhood. Yet it is still an advantage in that we never do talk about one thousandth of a pound – a grain (not, actually, the same amount) gives a better mental image.

It had to be really, didn’t it?

The Republic of Ireland’s postal service has apologised for spelling “the moon” wrong in Irish on its new commemorative stamps celebrating the 50th anniversary of the Apollo landing.

The postal service, known as Na Psot, launched the stamps last week.

Four astronauts with Irish ancestry are featured on the stamps.

The Irish word for moon is “gealach”. But the stamp spelled “gaelach”, which means being Gaelic, Irish or relating to the Scottish Highlands.

It’s like finding out that a Scot actually is mean, a Welshman voluble.

What a pity

But if Britain leaves the EU, there will be a dramatically reduced pool of native English speakers to recruit from, because you need to have an EU passport to work in the institutions. As people retire, fewer native speakers will work in the EU, meaning they will have less and less influence on and authority over the use of English in these contexts. This means “EU English” will likely move away from British English at a faster pace.

Seriously, who cares how foreigners jabber to each other? As we all know all we’ve got to do is speak louder and they’ll understand perfectly well.

Rhiannon doesn’t really do logic, does she?

This is not to say that privately educated Oxbridge graduates are bad people or don’t have anything good to bring to the table – just that perhaps we need to stop focusing so much on what’s fair and instead look at what’s most interesting and imaginative.

But the entire argument against the privately educated running everything is that it’s unfair, isn’t it?

An interesting little question

So, in 1066 the Normans came and stole the whole country.

We’ve not got a complete land registry for the place today as only those places that have changed hands on the open market in recent centuries are so listed.

But do we know of any one piece of land, an estate, which has been passed on through inheritance only since the 11 th century? Still got some few thousand acres estate – absent Royal Family or Crown Estate holdings – that is identifiably just because ggggg gpa was handy with a broadsword, lance and horse?

Of course, the general pattern of rural landholding is still hugely influenced by the event. But can we point to one particular piece of land and say that’s his directly because that?

So, when do we invade Poland?

Prince Charles to celebrate Royal Family’s German heritage in major speech on ‘Brexit tour’

When’s the Crusade into Lithuania? Busbys would look good on the Champs Elysee it has to be said. Switching entirely to a diet of sausages and potatoes might not quite suit but perhaps we can get Hugo Boss to do the spiffy uniforms once again?

The Telegraph never heard of Salic Law?

As a self-proclaimed feminist the Duchess of Sussex would no doubt wish her children to enjoy the same benefits and opportunities as each other, regardless of gender.

But the Government has placed a major obstacle in her way by failing to back a move that would have meant first born daughters inheriting their parents’ titles.

That means that if in the coming weeks Meghan Markle gives birth to a daughter the title of Earl of Dumbarton, bestowed on Prince Harry when they married, will not be passed on to their first child.

Under Britain’s unique hereditary laws the first born daughters of the nobility do not enjoy the same right as their first born sons to inherit their titles, which in some cases…

Umm, unique?