Howdahs are to be illegal?


Elephant riding holidays abroad offered by British travel companies could become illegal under plans being considered by Defra.

Senior sources at the department said they were seeking the best legislative route to banning the “appalling” holidays, with plans to hold a consultation into banning it.

British holiday companies currently offer experiences abroad in countries including Sri Lanka, Thailand and India, where travelers can ride elephants or watch them perform “tricks”.

However, animal rights campaigners argue that these practices are cruel, as elephants are frequently “broken in” by being beaten with steel hooks so they become compliant.

They are also often not kept in appropriate enclosures…

The best description of this is the reappearance of colonialism. Darkie foreigners must do as the British middle classes demand.

This is about Americans don’t forget

Social class can be determined within just seven words, and it could have major implications in job interviews, researchers from Yale University believe.

In a new study, 274 people with hiring experience were asked to listen to audio recordings, or read transcripts, from the pre-interview discussions of people who applied for a lab manager position at the university.

The hiring managers were asked to assess the candidate’s professional qualities, starting salary, signing on bonus and social class, without reading CVs.

The findings showed that within the first seven words, hirers had made snap judgements of the candidates, based on class, which were later reflected in decisions to hire, as well as salary and bonus levels.

Accent is rather less important over there than it is over here. Hmm, maybe not quite right, perhaps less variable is better? In England, certainly, you can spot someone to within 5 miles by their accent. Unless it’s RP of course and American doesn’t quite have that. In Germany the varied accents/dialects aren’t mutually intelligible across Lander lines. Italian isn’t even a real language, what we think is is just the Florentine version of it.

And of course class and geography mix in all cases.

Whether that will translate to different wages in quite the same way is interesting. For the old days in the City the lads with the fast working class accents (Cockneys, obviously) were usually very much better paid than the poshos. Generally speaking that is – the Cockneys were there as the traders, on talent, the poshos on connections and to man the front desks, take people to lunch. Pay reflected who was making the money. As our own bordello manager will be able to tell us…..

That social divide

One of the two activists who climbed on top of a train at Canning town can exclusively be revealed as Mark Ovland, who had already been arrested and released “several times” this week.

The 36-year-old has been identified as the man chased along a train roof before being pulled down onto the platform.

He describes himself as a full-time Extinction Rebellion protestor who gave up his Buddhist studies to devote himself to climate change action.

Can’t think of any grants available for Buddhist studies. So, a man of private means then.

Telling people in Canning Town they can’t get to work.

Yep, that’ll work well.

One advantage to Imperial units

A sense of scale.

It’s terribly easy to get lost among strings of zeroes. As we endlessly see with the papers confusing billion for million etc.

But we’re measuring something in ounces, it’s small. In tonnes it’s large. Pints is easy to envisage, we’ve all actually seen someone holding one.

Decalitres? Sure, we can work it out but it’s not immediate in the same sense. And the number who get confused between deca and hecto litres…..

And sure it’s just an oldie casting back to something in childhood. Yet it is still an advantage in that we never do talk about one thousandth of a pound – a grain (not, actually, the same amount) gives a better mental image.

It had to be really, didn’t it?

The Republic of Ireland’s postal service has apologised for spelling “the moon” wrong in Irish on its new commemorative stamps celebrating the 50th anniversary of the Apollo landing.

The postal service, known as Na Psot, launched the stamps last week.

Four astronauts with Irish ancestry are featured on the stamps.

The Irish word for moon is “gealach”. But the stamp spelled “gaelach”, which means being Gaelic, Irish or relating to the Scottish Highlands.

It’s like finding out that a Scot actually is mean, a Welshman voluble.

What a pity

But if Britain leaves the EU, there will be a dramatically reduced pool of native English speakers to recruit from, because you need to have an EU passport to work in the institutions. As people retire, fewer native speakers will work in the EU, meaning they will have less and less influence on and authority over the use of English in these contexts. This means “EU English” will likely move away from British English at a faster pace.

Seriously, who cares how foreigners jabber to each other? As we all know all we’ve got to do is speak louder and they’ll understand perfectly well.

Rhiannon doesn’t really do logic, does she?

This is not to say that privately educated Oxbridge graduates are bad people or don’t have anything good to bring to the table – just that perhaps we need to stop focusing so much on what’s fair and instead look at what’s most interesting and imaginative.

But the entire argument against the privately educated running everything is that it’s unfair, isn’t it?

An interesting little question

So, in 1066 the Normans came and stole the whole country.

We’ve not got a complete land registry for the place today as only those places that have changed hands on the open market in recent centuries are so listed.

But do we know of any one piece of land, an estate, which has been passed on through inheritance only since the 11 th century? Still got some few thousand acres estate – absent Royal Family or Crown Estate holdings – that is identifiably just because ggggg gpa was handy with a broadsword, lance and horse?

Of course, the general pattern of rural landholding is still hugely influenced by the event. But can we point to one particular piece of land and say that’s his directly because that?

So, when do we invade Poland?

Prince Charles to celebrate Royal Family’s German heritage in major speech on ‘Brexit tour’

When’s the Crusade into Lithuania? Busbys would look good on the Champs Elysee it has to be said. Switching entirely to a diet of sausages and potatoes might not quite suit but perhaps we can get Hugo Boss to do the spiffy uniforms once again?

The Telegraph never heard of Salic Law?

As a self-proclaimed feminist the Duchess of Sussex would no doubt wish her children to enjoy the same benefits and opportunities as each other, regardless of gender.

But the Government has placed a major obstacle in her way by failing to back a move that would have meant first born daughters inheriting their parents’ titles.

That means that if in the coming weeks Meghan Markle gives birth to a daughter the title of Earl of Dumbarton, bestowed on Prince Harry when they married, will not be passed on to their first child.

Under Britain’s unique hereditary laws the first born daughters of the nobility do not enjoy the same right as their first born sons to inherit their titles, which in some cases…

Umm, unique?

So there, English

To all the politicians dutifully wishing the nation a happy St George’s Day — you’ve got the date wrong.

The Church of England has confirmed that the feast has been pushed back to next Monday because of a clash with Easter week.

April 23 is the usual date each year for the feast of St George, the patron saint of England, but church rules state that no feast days should be marked during Easter week. If a saint’s day falls during Easter week, it is “translated” to the following week.

Matthew Salisbury, the Church of England’s national liturgy and worship adviser, said: “St George’s Day is translated to April 29 as nothing other than a principal feast would take place during Easter week.”

Common Worship, the church’s volumes of guidance for services, notes: “When St George’s Day or St Mark’s Day falls between Palm Sunday and the second Sunday of Easter inclusive it is transferred to the Monday after the second Sunday of Easter.”

OK, if you say so

A Researcher and an Author of the book the “Revelation, Movement of Akan People from Canaan to Ghana”, Martin Kwasi Abrokwah also known as Akanba has revealed that Jesus Christ was a full blooded Ghanaian.

According to him, his years of study shows that the Messiah was actually an Akyem by tribe, from the East Akyem District of Eastern Region of Ghana.

“Jesus Christ was originally an Akan, to be specific an Akyem. He was from Asiakwa, Asiakwa is Bethlehem, Kyebi (Kibi) is Beersheba, Kumasi is the same as Samaria. If we say Jesus is from the tribe of Judah, that tribe is the Akyem in Ghana. The name Akyem is the short form of Jojakyem, the descendants of Jojakyem took the name Akyem as we know it in Ghana. Jojakyem was one time the king of Judah. From my etymological and anthropological research, Jesus Christ was a pure Akyem.” the Anthropologist told sit-in host Akwasi Nsiah on Anopa Kasapa on Kasapa FM.

Doesn’t really matter though as we know damn well that JC’s Pops was an Englishman.

Orange Man Bad!

The proposal that the British state should extend to this unworthy man its highest honours, including an address to parliament, and a banquet and carriage ride down the Mall with the Queen, is misjudged. It will do nothing to revive the “special relationship”, already torn apart by Trump’s reactionary policies on climate change, migration, race, multilateralism, Yemen, nuclear arms, civil liberties and other issues. What it will do is give an undeserved boost to a wounded charlatan.

If Americans are content to allow a habitual liar who has presided over systemic illegality, numerous ill-concealed attempts to obstruct justice and a foul-mouthed culture of venality and vendettas to continue to lead their country, that is a matter for them. But the British people cannot be expected to collude or condone such misbehaviour. And what’s to be gained? A fantasy post-Brexit trade deal? Trump’s word, evidently, cannot be trusted.

Considering who we have had over for state visits none of that would seem to be a disqualification. Mugabe? Banda, Kaunda? Suharto? Ceausescu for the Lord’s Sake. Mobutu? Willie Tubman.

Trump’s worse than this collection of thieves, bandits, murderers and fools?

Ah, I see. A state visit isn’t in fact this highest honour. It’s an entirely political move so that foreign gimps might like us a little more. You know, the the benefit of us peeps that we sate their egos and they look kindly upon us.

So, the worse we think Trump’s egomania is the more we should be offering the visit in order to buy us some goodwill at a very cheap indeed price.

But, you know, Orange Man Bad!

They’re from Stroud? That explains a lot

Stroud, the gentle Cotswold town that spawned a radical protest

The founders of Extinction Rebellion dismiss claims that it is merely a product of the Gloucestershire town’s middle-class liberal elite

Blimey, that does explain a lot.

Bramwell, who was arrested after gluing himself to revolving doors at the oil giant Shell’s headquarters last week, said the idea for Extinction Rebellion emerged at a weekend gathering of about 17 activists at Bradbrook’s council house on the outskirts of Stroud almost exactly a year ago. “It was in Gail’s living room last April that we decided to go for broke. We decided to throw all of our energy and intelligence at something that could change the planet,” he said over the phone from London, where he is helping to organise further protests for the coming week. Bramwell dismissed suggestions by some newspapers that Extinction Rebellion is a middle-class movement of privileged hippies: “I’m working-class. I have been a builder most of my life and every other job in between. My mum was a nurse, I grew up in a single-parent family. Gail grew up in the north and her father was a miner. She is as working-class as they come – she is just bloody bright.”

Stroud’s an oddity. All the intellectual sophistication of Slad and the economic modernity of Minchinhampton. Allied with the towering civilisation of Gloucester and this isn’t a winning combination.