Cliches much?

Grandfather, 33, kicked off plane says he was discriminated against because of his facial tattoos


Davi and Kerry-Anne were accompanied by their daughters Skyla and Shelby-Ann, Kerry-Anne’s daughter Keeley Millerchip, her partner Andrew Bostock and their sons Kenzie and Jayden.

Not actually, it appears, a grandfather. But still…..

Bleedin ‘Ell, the Swedish are more British than the British now

A Swedish rail operator has vowed to name one of its trains Trainy McTrainface after a public vote, saying it would bring joy to people disappointed when Britain rejected the name Boaty McBoatface for a polar research ship following a similar poll.

Trainy McTrainface won 49% of the votes in the naming competition, conducted online by train operator MTR Express and Swedish newspaper Metro, beating choices such as Hakan, Miriam and Poseidon.

“[This is] news that will be received with joy by many, not just in Sweden,” MTR wrote in a statement.

The train will run between the Swedish capital Stockholm and Gothenburg, the country’s second-biggest city.

Last year, the British government said a new £200m polar research ship would be named after veteran BBC naturalist David Attenborough even though the name “Boaty McBoatface” had topped an online poll.

Although, to be fair, ignoring the wishes of the hoi polloi does have a certain Britishness to it…..

My, isn’t the country changing?

Almost one in three children born in England and Wales have foreign-born mothers, new figures show.

In 2016 28.2 per cent of births were to women who were not born in the UK, an increase from 27.5 per cent the year before, according to figures released by the Office for National Statistics.

Researchers said that the increase was partly due to higher fertility rates among foreign-born women. A larger number of them are also aged 25 to 34, when fertility is highest.

The rate has been rising since 1990, when it hit a low of 11.6 per cent.

There are changes and changes of course. A cousin married an American, the son is being hot housed at Eton for Cambridge. Not sure that’s going to change England all that much. Certain vibrancies however…..

This is definitely a comment upon British workmanship

But which comment?

When a Canadian construction team came across a giant cannonball as they excavated a building site in Quebec, they did what anyone else would do in this age of Snapchat and Instagram.

They moved the 200lb projectile into better view and posed with it for photographs.

It was only later, when an archaeologist was studying the missile, the workers learned of their lucky escape: The cannonball was still live, packed with a charge and gunpowder just as it would have been when fired by British gunners during the Battle of the Plains of Abraham in 1759.

Still ready after 250 years? Ah, the craft, the workmanship.

Or 250 years late in working?

Here is the British upper middle class in all its glory

The BBC has long invested in a brand of childhood made up of sticky-backed plastic and papier mache. The idea is that if television, like culture in general, makes us better people, the business of self-improvement should begin nice and early. But it is also reinvesting in Britishness at the precise moment when the product is starting to look suspect; with the new, forward-thinking CBBC, the kids will be seduced from the American channels, turned homewards and kept where we can see them.

We don’t like our children very much so w’ll let them be brought up by the TV – Yikes, have you seen the price of nannies these days? – but make sure they’re indoctrinated properlyu rather than watching anything by the septics.

Czechs dress for the climate, not the weather

Something I’ve just noted. Cold summer’s day, rain and rain. OK, Central Europe etc. But they’re all still in shorts and t-shirts getting wet. And thinking about it, same in winter, they’re all out with coats, scarves, hats, gloves, even when it’s a decent warm day.

They’re dressing for the climate, not the weather.

Then, as has been said, we English are the only people who take weather seriously because we’re the only people who have it, everyone else does just have a climate.

Not going to work

The Queen was reported to police for not wearing a seatbelt as she travelled to the State Opening of Parliament in her official call.

West Yorkshire Police said they received a 999 call about the royal journey.

You never really know these days, good joke or just some twat.

Under UK law, civil and criminal proceedings cannot be taken against the Queen.

Quite, R. v R. would be a bit of a problem.

Her gaff her rules

In a statement on Facebook, Grapes landlady Anna Slater wrote: “The owners of the Grapes would like to reiterate our policy on large, noisy groups in and outside the premises.

“We do not allow large noisy groups to dominate the pub and ruin everyone else’s evening. This includes stags, hens, political parties. It’s why we don’t show football.

“After last night the recently elected MP for Walton is barred. For life. Several others in his group are also excluded and we are reviewing CCTV of last night to identify you.”

She has an absolute right to such rules as well.

Now, if only the law allowed her to also decide about smoking in her gaff too……

So, not quite the real story then

His lordship had no male heir to his title and an entail provided for the estate to pass to another branch of the family. It is not dissimilar to a plot from Downton Abbey in which the Earl of Grantham has three daughters and no son, so the title and estate will pass to a distant cousin. It was also the real-life situation of the 10th Lord Braybrooke, whose Audley End estate, near Saffron Waldon, in Essex, surrounds the finest Jacobean mansion in England.

The issue came to the fore in 2013 when Amanda Murray, the eldest of Lord Braybrooke’s seven surviving daughters, revealed her irritation at being deprived of both the title and the vast inheritance because of her gender. “It boils down to this: if I was a boy, I would be sitting pretty,” complained Murray, who for many years had run the estate for her father. “My poor father had no son, just lots of daughters. In this day and age, with supposed equality, why am I not allowed to inherit my father’s estate? It’s discriminatory.”

Well, yes and no really, Because the title and the land are going in different directions:

Although the law on royal succession was changed in 2013 to allow the firstborn child of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge to become monarch, regardless of his or her gender, the concept of primogeniture remains for the aristocracy. As a result the 11th Lord Braybrooke will be Richard Neville, a distant kinsman and internet entrepreneur who lives above a hair salon in Battersea, south London. In another twist, because of a special covenant laid down by the 7th Lord Braybrooke in 1941, the estate itself passes to Louise Newman, a landowner from Devon and the seventh baron’s granddaughter.

You ain’t getting the land because grandpappy said so, nothing to do with the law nor primogeniture.

This needs to be the work of a lone nutter, not a TV programme

A 74-mile long model train track is set to smash a world record when it weaves through the Scottish Highlands later this month.
The miniature steam train will set off on top of a plastic track which is fully recyclable and travel the distance while people tune in to watch the journey on television.
The scale model will travel through the Great Glen and eventually reach its final destination of Inverness, on Scotland’s northern coast.

The record attempt will feature in a new show called ‘The Biggest Little Railway in the World’ and volunteers will live in campsites as they assemble the track.
People are now being sought for the project in order to make everything come together without any hitches.
Producer Charlotte Armstrong said: ‘Filming starts on June 20 and we have five groups in place with around 10 or 12 people in each one.
‘Each group will be laying sections of the track and they will live in campsites along the route – very much like workers did when the Victorian railways were being built.

Grand, grand, idea. But these things really should come from an obsession. Spotty oik who decides to do it in honour of the Young Pretender or summat, with the monomania first being mocked and then gaining a groundswell of support. With a cliff hanger disaster, followed by a thump of the fist into the palm “I’ll just do it right this time.”

With Prince Philip on hand to mutter “Well done laddie, well done” as the train triumphantly wobbles down the main street of Inverness.

It’s just not British if it’s organised, is it?

That’s a lot really, isn’t it?

Intelligence officers have identified 23,000 jihadist extremists living in Britain as potential terrorist attackers, it emerged yesterday.

The scale of the challenge facing the police and security services was disclosed by Whitehall sources after criticism that multiple opportunities to stop the Manchester bomber had been missed.

About 3,000 people from the total group are judged to pose a threat and are under investigation or active monitoring in 500 operations being run by police and intelligence services. The 20,000 others have featured in previous inquiries and are categorised as posing a “residual risk”.

Err, yes, you’re right

English football’s axis of power has shifted south – where the wealth is
Anthony Clavane
The relegation of Hull, Middlesbrough and Sunderland, teams from former industrial powerhouse cities, reflects the country’s growing economic divide

And the reason the North was the centre of football (well, plus the Midlands and London) is because that’s where all the wealth was when it became a popular and organised sport.

It’s entirely correct to say that there’s been a regional divide these past 300 years in England (at least). But for the first 150 years the South, especially the South West, was on the wrong end of it.

One example – forgotten the decade as it was some time ago I read about it but probably 1830s, 1840s ish – farm labourer wages were 25 shillings a week up North, no rent to pay on the veg patch and potato field etc. Same time, rent to be paid and 8 shillings a week in Dorset. The North had to compete with the alternative jobs in the factories, Dorset was, even by the standards of the time, grossly poor.

Even Bath has guerrillas these days

They are the bane of road users around the country, causing countless damage to cars and endless cycling accidents.
Now residents in one of the UK’s most well-to-do towns have taken a novel approach to dealing with the scourge of potholes opening up in their streets.
So-called ‘guerrilla gardeners’ are filling the cracks and craters in their roads with pretty flowers in a very peaceful protest.

Of course, this being Bath they’re not like those elsewhere, not at all, that would never do.