How To Haggle

There\’s negotiation and then there\’s negotiation:

But the potential rewards are enormous and anyone doubting the power of haggling should take inspiration from the story of Mohammed Shafiq, an Asian off-licence owner, who, when faced a couple of years ago with a raider wielding a 12in knife and a demand for £500, remarked: “I can’t afford that; how about £10 and a drink?”

According to reports, the disoriented raider responded by saying he would accept £50 and as Mr Shafiq considered the figure, Mrs Shafiq sneaked up and whacked the robber with a rolling pin. Mr Shafiq then clubbed him over the head with a brass-handled walking stick before calling the police, the exchange having cost him not a single penny. That’s what I call a deal.

6 thoughts on “How To Haggle”

  1. Whacked him over the head?

    Clubbed him?

    Oh dear, oh dear.

    And worse ” with a brass-handled walking stick”!

    Now there’s an offensive weapon charge to add to the assault and battery.

    Pretty lucky they were Asians, when you think about it, or they would have been in all sorts of bother.

  2. Nah, that’s all OK. It’s the disclosure of the robber’s identity to the police that’s the problem: violating the Data Protection Act, according to the police.

  3. God, I’ve had it with these Asians coming over here and thinking they can do whatever the hell they like to someone just because he’s been down on his luck of late.

    It’s about time they started respecting our customs and learned that you’re supposed to cower with fear and hand over your money. Convention then has it that one waits for the police to provide you a number for your insurance claim.

  4. Now there’s an offensive weapon charge to add to the assault and battery.

    Charge them for this? I think we would do better to offer Mr and Mrs Shafiq the jobs of Home Secretary and Secretary of State for Justice.

  5. So Much For Subtlety

    No chance of an OBE in the New Year’s Honours List you reckon? If only.

    Makes yer proud to be British.

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