Eight Different Healthy Meals


Teenagers will be given compulsory cooking lessons at school for the first time, under government plans to ensure that all pupils know how to make eight different healthy meals.

And they\’re asking us, yes, us plebs, to provide the list of dishes that they should know how to cook.

So, no pork, for that will offend Muslims (well, the professional race mob at least), no beef (Hindus), no nuts because of allergies, no butter, sugar, salt (obesity), no trans-fats (because the previous advice about butter turned out to be wrong). Gonna be interesting, eh?

So, leaving aside those problems, what should the ankle biters be taught to cook?

Roast beef and the trimmings? Chicken Massala? Toad in the Hole? Deep fried Pizza?

9 thoughts on “Eight Different Healthy Meals”

  1. They’re assuming that giving kids cooking lessons means that they’ll be able to cook. Evidence on literacy and numeracy suggests otherwise.

  2. If we want ’em to actually eat these meals – Pizzas, deep fried chicken, burgers and chips, doner kebabs. Lager. Is Lager a meal?


  3. I never had training in cooking at school. Indeed I’d never really cooked a meal (unless one counts heating a pizza or camping out) until I went to uni at 18 years old. I seem to have survived okay. At 26, I can cook far more than eight healthy dishes and routinely do so. Much as I think that adults should have basic cooking skills, I’m not sure teaching it in schools is really necessary to acquire them. A bit of independence and a very limited budget did me fine.

  4. “Roast beef and the trimmings? Chicken Massala? Toad in the Hole?”

    Nope. Offends Buddhists and other vegetarians.

    “Deep fried Pizza?”

    Nope. Offends vegans.

  5. 1. A basic lamb hotpot including the spuds, onions or leeks, carrots, and one of the cheaper cuts of lamb.

    2. Sunday roast using Briskett, roast spuds, parsnips and greens. And Yorkshires.

    3. Apple or rhubarb pie and custard.

    4. Pizza with wholemeal pastry base.

    5. Home made fruit cake.

    6. Cauliflower cheese with embellishments (layer of cooked sliced spuds, then cooked cauli florets, sauteed leeks and mushrooms sprinkled on top, plus a little garlic salt.)

    7. Hungarian Goulash with dumplings.

    8. Lasagne with side salad.

    What they need most is to build up their experience, and self confidence, in the kitchen. After that, they will start experimenting for themselves.

  6. Kangaroo.

    Delicious, and cheap.

    A lot like beef but not farmed, all free range. No one has yet figured out how to keep a mob of kangaroos behind a fence.

    Might offend the anti hunting crowd tho.

  7. The Laughing Cavalier

    Surely it would be better to spend the time teaching them readin’, ritin’ and riffmatick.

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