I\’d not seen this one before:
Equally quick-witted was England\’s Jimmy Ormond, whose arrival at the crease in an Ashes Test met with the usual fusillade of Aussie abuse. "What are you doing here? There\’s no way you\’re good enough to play for England," said Mark Waugh, twin brother of the Australian captain Steve Waugh. "Maybe not," replied Ormond, "but at least I\’m the best player in my family."
And we\’ve all seen this one but it\’s far too good not to repeat again:
The best way to respond to sledging is a dose of the same, as the Zimbabwean tail-end batsman Eddo Brandes once found when facing the great Aussie pace bowler Glenn McGrath. Frustrated that Brandes had somehow managed to keep his wicket intact, McGrath walked up to him and asked: "Hey, how come you\’re so fat?" Brandes instantly replied: "Because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit."
Although I\’m reasonably certain that "make love to" was in fact couched in rather more Anglo-Saxon terms.