A new public holiday should be introduced to celebrate Britishness, a review commissioned by Gordon Brown will urge today.
So, err, how are we going to celebrate that then? We\’re not allowed to get pissed any more. Having a parade costs a fortune in licences, you can\’t even get a band to play without asking permission.
Here\’s what will actually happen. This will create an extra long weekend. And as with the other long weekends through the year, Britons will bugger off to Riga, or Tallin, or Split, or Bourdeaux, there to get pissed.
That is, we\’ll all celebrate British Day by leaving Britain.
Apt, don\’t you think?