No, really, tit-jobs are caused by the evil corporations.
So the argument against breast enlargement is not really a feminist one – it has more in common with the anti-globalisation movement. We don\’t please men by all trying to be the same shape, we please corporations. We make commodities of ourselves.
Absolutely nothing at all to do with rather more base Darwinian or evolutionary reasons. Oh no, couldn\’t possibly be that secondary sexual characteristics have developed in response to any programmed innate desire in the other sex, could not possibly be that tit-jobs are equivalent to shaving (or not shaving) of beards. No, the simple competition between the members of one sex for the attentions of the best picks of the other must indeed be blamed upon corporations.
That’s why girl apes have flat tits; they do it from behind, so they have bright red botties instead. Humans are about the only species that care more about the front than the back, so breasts have evolved (and aided by plastic surgery) to look roughly like a nice bum.
Jesus, Mark, so what is a beard meant to look like?