Competition Time!

Yes, I think this competition does indeed deserve mentioning.

What would be the correct and appropriate method of doing away with the pecksniffs, puffballs and pikers who rule over us?

So far we\’ve had plain and simple hanging, gibbets, sharpened cockroaches, mangonels, trebuchets, jet engines….

Much adoration and many geek points for the most truly innovative and appropriate method. Add links in the comments as you post or suggest, please.

6 thoughts on “Competition Time!”

  1. No, gentlemen – no violence! That’s too easy.

    For punishment to be truly sophisticated and satisfying and a really good spectator sport, it must be tailored to the criminals and reflect the crimes.

    I propose they be locked up for life, with only each other for company and no mirrors (a bit a la Sartre) and no contact with the outside world, in a council flat version of Celebrity Big Brother, to be be televised 24/7.

    No privacy at all and no walls to hide behind; only unhealthy food, the same every day; no medical care (eternal waiting lists, though, so as to dangle hope). Lots of weapons and cigarettes, and lots of booze. Keep the temperature much too high during the day, and much too cold at night. Have the whole thing be automated.

    And then go away and let’em at it.

    We’ll have months and months and months of fun, and they’ll have to listen to each other prating and theorising until they die naturally and/or kill each other off.

  2. We should capitalise on the bitter, venomous hatred and contempt they have for one-another.

    We could try pairing them off and handcuffing them together, face to face, so they can’t get away from one another. The handcuffs will stop them from strangling one another, and they will be too close together to kick eachother to death. They will be reduced to biting eachother’s faces off until they finally bleed to death.

  3. @ Ed

    That’s a late April Fool’s joke, right?

    I mean, it’s a good one, but globe-shaped crystal palaces on stilts dedicated to the pampering of governing elites is serious Conspiracy Theory/Protocols of Zion/Aliens Rule the World fantasy type stuff, so it has to be a joke.

    Because if it isn’t, as a person who believes conferences on poverty should take place in favelas, delegates to conferences on hunger shouldn’t be fed, and important meetings between heads of state should take place in saunas with all participants in the nude, I might have to take to drink.

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