Umm, Why?

Who is it that is trying to get Boris prosecuted for taking Tarik Aziz\’s cigar case?

And why are they bothering?

Would there be anyone so petty, so time-wastingly idiotic, as to complain? Alas, I forgot about the Labour Party. Five years after I found this memento, Labour stooges were recently combing my articles for anything discreditable to a Conservative mayoral candidate.

They found the article, and with bulging eyes they went to the Metropolitan Police and demanded that I be prosecuted. I am accused by my political opponents of removing a cultural artefact from Iraq. As it happens, I also have in my possession a letter from the lawyers of Tariq Aziz, informing me that Mr Aziz wishes me to regard the cigar case as a gift.

But never mind. The file has been opened at Scotland Yard; the proceedings have begun. The poor police have no choice but to investigate this ludicrous affair, and in the interim I am told I must hand the cigar case into police custody – or else be led in manacles from City Hall.

Seriously, why on earth is anyone doing this?

7 thoughts on “Umm, Why?”

  1. Still a bit rich of Boris to moan about it, given the witch-hunt that his lot unleashed on Ken’s aides (none of whom have so far been found to have done anything illegal, unlike Boris’s clearly – if trivially – illegal cigar box…)

  2. “why on earth is anyone doing this?”

    For the same reason dogs lick their balls. Or women decide that 10 years ago, they were raped, even if it didn’t occur to them at the time.

    Because they can, and there’s no comeback on them if it doesn’t work.

    “a bit rich of Boris to moan about it, given the witch-hunt that his lot unleashed on Ken’s aides”

    Only inside a left winger’s head could a check to see if the previous encumbent’s staff were on the take be considered a ‘witch hunt’.

  3. > Boris’s clearly – if trivially – illegal cigar box

    How on Earth is it “clearly” illegal to have in your possession both an item and a letter from its previous owner transferring right of ownership to you?

  4. “Still a bit rich of Boris to moan about it, given the witch-hunt that his lot unleashed on Ken’s aides”

    Aha. Right. So allegations of malfeasance and fraud are a “witch hunt” now are they?

    “(none of whom have so far been found to have done anything illegal”

    Err, “found to have done anything illegal” requires a trial. Even in New Labour land it’s generally regarded de rigeur to actually have a trial. Yes, yes, you apologists for this regime would overlook attempts to do away with due process, I know, but still, none of Ken’s aides have gone to trial yet. That doesn’t mean they won’t: what happened to the missing money that ran through the fingers of Lee Jasper is still of interest to the police, and I doubt that Ian Blair can squash these investigations, no matter how much he might want to: this is one political copper who has discovered that political coppers can be on the losing side.

    “unlike Boris’s clearly – if trivially – illegal cigar box…)”

    So nice of you to step up to the mark and appoint yourself the judge and jury in this matter and declaring the cigar case (not box) illegal. Again, how very socialist of you. But we still live in a country which despite the best efforts of New Labour still has a due process. So you’ll have to forgive me for regarding your views on this matter as essentially worthless. Especially since Boris says he has a letter indicating the ownership of the said item has been transferred from its rightful owner to Boris.

  5. Nobody’s been charged in any of the Ken-related cases; I’d happily bet good money that nobody will be.

    If Ahmed in Cairo sells me an ancient Egyptian antiquity, it’s still illegal for me to export it to the UK, no matter how many letters from Ahmed I have in my posession. Iraq’s antiquities law works in the same way.

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