What Would Jesus Do?

Harsh but fair. A comment explaining the real answer to the question "What Would Jesus Do"?

Not make it to 40.

7 thoughts on “What Would Jesus Do?”

  1. So Much For Subtlety

    Wow. You think that if I make a reference to an entry by TW which makes reference to a comment I made to an entry by TW, the whole Universe goes into a spiral and disappears up its own Black Hole?

    (By the way, “harsh but fair” would be to point out that Jesus’ diet must have been good. He was hanging by two nails through his hands. And he made it to Friday evening. So he clearly wasn’t obese. Stick you’re average Westerner up there and either they’d pull the nail through or break their shoulders and choke to death in minutes.)

  2. So Much For Subtlety

    Wrists! Come on. None of this modern bending of Biblical narrative to suit scientific facts! You can go to any Church you like and see the guy up there with nails through his palms. Where did Padre Pio get his stigmata? Not his bloody wrists I assure you.

    I wonder what the pressure your wrists can take? The neck is not strong enough to hold you up if the drop is too long or if you’re too fat. That is, the rope will rip your head off and spray the spectators with blood (as in the case of the last woman executed in front of journalists in the UK). Would wrists do much better?

    And I think I can say with 100% certainty that the one thing Jesus did not do is make it to 2014 any time recently. After all, either he bought it before he was 40, or He has been around for about 6008 years or for some 3.5 billion. Depending. But 2014? No. Can’t see it.

  3. If you were to drop someone 10ft with their wrists nailed to a plank, then all sorts of unpleasant things could happen. However, supporting someone’s static weight by their wrists or neck is not a problem (in physics terms I mean; in biology terms it’s not ideal for the person you’re supporting).

    …and I’m not claiming to understand exactly how the doctrine of “100% man, 100% God” works, but there’s surely a sense in Christianity in which Jesus began to exist independently of God-the-Father in 7BC-ish and has continued to do so ever since…?

  4. After all, either he bought it before he was 40, or He has been around for about 6008 years or for some 3.5 billion. Depending. But 2014? No. Can’t see it.

    Well I guess the 6008 comes from attempts to date the earth using the bible and the 3.5 billion comes from attempts to date the earth using some new fangled scientific theory. Neither event has any bearing on the age of Jesus since they don’t relate to events in his life. If he is god then he is eternal.

    Therefore the only event by which we have to count from is the date of his earth birth, which makes him 2008 plus or minus a few years.

    Given that the bible is the authority upon which we judge him to be divine, I think it pretty odd to start introducing spurious notions like the actual historical record when we have the wholly reliable christian tradition to go on.

    Ergo he’s 2008, he’s dead or he is a allegorical figure combining several pre christian millennial traditions.

  5. “…supporting someone’s static weight by their wrists or neck is not a problem (in physics terms I mean; in biology terms it’s not ideal for the person you’re supporting).”

    Interesting. Perhaps we could get Christopher Hitchens to try that next…

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