Nerd humour

Q: "Do my bosons give you a hadron?"
A: I wouldn\’t mind computing the rotation coefficients of that symmetric bilinear pairing.

Badaboom tish. Some of the others are actually quite good.

7 thoughts on “Nerd humour”

  1. I like the similar one (about a different specialty) where the two psychiatrists are riding in an elevator.

    The elevator stops, a man gets on, greeting the two occupants, “Good morning.” After he gets off a couple of floors up, one turns to the other and asks, “I wonder what he meant by that?”

  2. There once was a young man named Fisk
    Whose fencing was exceedingly brisk.
    So swift was his action,
    The Fitzgerald contraction
    Reduced his rapier to a disk.

    Said Einstein, “I have an equation
    Which science might term Rabelaisian.
    If “P” be virginity approaching infinity,
    Let “U” be a constant persuasion.
    Now, if “P” over “U” be inverted
    And the root of “U” be inserted
    “X” times into “P,” the result, QED,
    Is a relative,” Einstein asserted.

    A fair young thing from Nagasaki
    Had a torrid affair with a blackie.
    The results of her sins
    Were quadruplets (not twins):
    One black, one white, and two khaki.

    Above from “One, Two, Three…Infinity” (by
    Gamov, c. 1957).

  3. And, of course, there’s the old one about the three constipated mathematicians.

    The first attacked the problem with a pencil and some paper.

    The second worked it out with his slide rule.

    And the last one used logs.

  4. And, while we’re at it, why leave out the pseudo side of scientific?

    Two lovely young lasses—twa(t) Scotchess
    Lay by yon bonny bank o’ Loch Ness.
    The monster’s head appeared but was ignored
    Because both, grown quite bored,
    Had sunk their heads in each other’s crotches.


    If the Large Hard-On Collider
    is supposed to recreate the big bang
    involving every one of us,
    how come I didn’t feel the earth move ?

    Alan McAlpine Douglas

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